I'm sitting here on a beautiful, sunny day in gorgeous Northern California. The kids are all tuckered out from a sleepover last night and then a morning out at one of our favorite swimming holes in the area -- a summer tradition. We are leaving tomorrow to fly home to Florida to see my family and to drive up to Alabama for a family reunion. And I'm ready. I'm not that crazy person running around at 1AM looking for that travel toothbrush. I can sit here and do something I love, blogging, and feel good about it without stress over the trip (aside from the stresses of traveling with a tyrannical two year old). I'm looking forward to starting a new job in a few weeks. Actually, if you want to know the truth, I'm like a kid waiting for the first day of school at their beloved school. I'm able to get myself into the right frame of mind for what that holds, because of this time I have. I'm planning a fun party for my awesome husbands' 40th birthday. You see, I've been able to spend the past two months with my kids and helping at their school, and taking care of a bunch of little things that I never seem to have time for. I've been able to take the kids to all the fun places we try to squeeze in each spring and summer. What a blessing. I honestly cannot think of a better gift to give someone. The gift of time.
For some of my friends, they would probably say that my positive outlook is somewhat new, as I've spent the past 18 months going through a very lengthy and painful divestiture process at my place of employment. From one moment to the next, my hopes and dreams rode on the fate of folks that I have never spoken to, and some that I have. I would be lied to, manipulated, counted on, dismissed, and often times having to pass along not very good news to a wonderful team. The team exploded and had to be put back together a few times. We lost key people at inopportune times. It was hard. It was hard on me. I felt like a whole different person. I wasn't able to successfully accomplish much at work given the situation. It really started to weigh on me and it was a fairly unhealthy environment for me. There were days where things were great, as I was heavily engaged with potential buyers and saw hope in them. But, it would all come crashing down, when later we discovered that, yet again, we couldn't close a deal. I remember when I started working at this company, and how it all came to be. I remember talking to my Mom about how things lined up, doors just opened at it seemed I was destined to be there at that time. God put me there for sure. I was just trying to figure out why. Was I there to be a leader when none other was present? Was I there because of where the company was going to end up? I went through 18 months of this uncertainty and without clear purpose.
I am not going to try to tell you that I have now figured out why those doors opened for me when they did, but I can tell you that out of that dark time in my life came an ability to live a more balanced life. As I prepare for the next stop in my journey, I can't help but wonder how my balance will be in another couple of years. I just hope that God continues to bless me with time and the ability to balance life.
