Just one week

Happy Easter!

As if coming home from the hospital isn't enough to take in for one day, there was also the Easter preparations to worry about. Bennett is my original Easter baby, having been born on Easter morning in 2007. Now I have a new Easter babe, born on Maundy Thursday! Unfortunately, that meant that I was not going to be able to go to church for Good Friday services or even on Easter morning, and I admit I was a little saddened by that. Luckily, my mom was game for taking the kids to church on Easter morning, so after the eggs were all found, breakfast and a good dose of sugar was had, off they went. Myself, Lance and my Dad stayed back and celebrated Easter with Landon at home.

Here are a few pictures from Easter morning!

The kids' baskets

 The pre-hunt investigation

Easter Sunday best!

Bringing Home Baby

You know that show on TLC? The one where they come home with new parents as they transition their life to a +1 with a new baby at home? Yeah, I always wondered what those parents were thinking. As if the experience itself weren't enough, you should also invite cameras into your home to document some of the most tender moments in your life? Not for me. Those first two nights at home with baby are notorious in our family for being sleepless and trying, often with tears of both joy and also frustration as you try to meet your new baby's needs every waking and non waking moment. Not sure I'd want cameras in my house documenting my exhausted look as I get up to change the baby one more time, or struggle with a tiny baby and getting them in the right position to nurse correctly. Not for me, thanks.

I knew that I could leave the hospital on Saturday morning, and boy was I ready. The bed at the hospital was just unbearable and I was anxious to come home to my family. I just waited for the doctors to do their rounds that morning so that I could be discharged and I was ready to go when they did. Freedom!

Morgan and Bennett were sooooo excited to have us come home. I think Bennett was mostly excited to have Lance and I back home, as he seemed to be having a rough time with leaving us at the hospital. Morgan was mostly excited about bringing "her baby" home to become part of our family. They were both awesome on the drive home. They were our eyes on Landon as we made the 20 minute trek home. Should he bat an eye or make any sort of noise, they would let us know. "Mom, he just yawned!" or "Momma, he's asleep."

When we got home, we followed tradition (since it had been the same with the other two) and let the sleeping baby stay in the car seat. Bennett and Morgan immediately got out their new toys, compliments of Landon, and started playing. As if we hadn't just brought home a new baby. It was actually reassuring to me, seeing them continue with life as normal.

It seems that there is some amazing ability babies have to sense that they are no longer at the hospital and what they had been doing (sleeping non-stop), no longer applies now that there are no longer a team of nurses standing by to take the baby to the nursery if you need a moment of sleep. Ahh, the joys of bringing home baby. 

By now, with my third I'm aware of many of the pitfalls of newborn life. Not eating, not sleeping, etc and with Landon I'm anxiously looking out for the signs of either. The first two nights at home proved to me that he could eat and the first two days at home proved to me that he could sleep. Only need to get the daytime and nighttime in the right order. :)

I reserve the right to change this statement later, but as of now, this child appears to not have the eating issues Morgan had as a baby or the sleep issues Bennett had as a baby. Perhaps, just perhaps, this is my mellow-go-with-the-flow third child. If only I'm so lucky! I'm looking forward to finding out more how this little guy is going to fill in the pieces of our family.

Welcome to the world, Landon Lee

I don't know if it was the uncomfortableness of my exploding belly and my aching hips or if it was the anticipation of what was to come when I awoke, but I did not sleep all that well the night before my scheduled induction. I had everything ready to go the night before and rolled out of bed to prepare myself to meet my new son later that day, with any luck. My induction was scheduled to start at 7:30 on Thursday morning, April 21st. Morgan and Bennett had school, so my Mom agreed to stay behind to drop them off at their respective schools and then meet us at the hospital after. They were so excited about the events of the day (also including their own activities at school - an egg drop for Morgan and an Easter party for Bennett) that they were both up and ready to go when Lance and I left for the hospital. We got plenty of hugs before we set off, and we made it to the hospital at just the right time. My nurse, Carla, immediately took me to my room to get me started. I got into my most fashionable hospital gown, got into the bed and was waiting for the nurse to come check me and get my IV started.

Now, I was certain that I would be at least 2-3cm dialated since my last check, a week earlier and before another week's worth of contracting was 1cm. Therefore, you can understand why it was such a surprise to me when Carla said, "1cm and still thick and far back". Those were not the words I wanted to hear, but Carla assured me that we would be holding my baby in my arms later that day. Carla was great about explaining to a new-to-induction mother the process and also dispelling any misconceptions I had. I was particularly worried about how much pain I'd be in with the pitocin and when I'd be approved for the epidural. She assured me that we could do the epidural as soon as I was ready for it, so I was relieved to hear that. She began to prepare me for the pitocin by inserting an IV for fluids. She took a look at my swollen hands and warned me that this might be hard. She searched for good veins, gave it a try and went to get help. They finally were able to get it into a vein on the back of my right hand, which is less than ideal, but better than the alternatives. Once the IV was in, she gave me a bag of fluids to prepare me for the epidural and then started the pitocin at 8:30am. Carla let me know that she would be monitoring my contractions and would be increasing the dosage of pitocin every half an hour until they had me where they wanted me.

I began to feel contractions within fifteen minutes, but they were the same as I'd been having. After 30 minutes, Carla came in and increased the pitocin. Pretty soon after, my mom showed up and we started a game of spite and malice (card game) to help pass the time. I won one hand before Carla came back in to increase to dosage again. I won another hand as the contractions started to get stronger. It was during the third hand that I was unable to concentrate on the game anymore and I knew it was time to ask for the epidural. Carla told me she was going to check me again before they gave it to me and I was so fearful that there was going to be no progress, given that I am used to being in labor and not progressing until I am in so much pain I can't talk. Carla checked me around 11am and I was pleasantly surprised that I was at 3cm already, though he was still high up. I could tell he was high up because during every contraction, I felt the pressure of his body being pushed under my ribs. With my other labors, the pressure had been mostly low and in my back. This time was a lot different. Nevertheless, I felt more comfortable getting the epidural knowing that I was progressing.

The anesthesiologist came in to give me my epidural and I let him know how difficult it had been on my previous two births to get it in right. He was great about letting me get through the contractions and letting me know what he was doing so that I could anticipate when I would be expected to hold still. The contractions were really strong by this point, and even though he did a great job getting the epidural in, it still took a few tries. This was one of the toughest parts of my labor (as it usually is) since the pain was so high and I had to sit so still. An added challenge on this birth was that I was so big and the baby still so high up, it was hard for me to round my back properly. Ultimately, we got it done and the epidural started to take effect within fifteen minutes. Sweet relief!

With the epidural, I was able to relax, chat with my mom and Lance and wait until it was go time. I know they checked me around 12:30pm and I was still at 3cm, so they sent my doctor in to break my water. That seemed to help move things along because the next time they checked me, I was at 6cm. Things were really starting to progress. By 2pm, I was starting to feel some uncomfortableness again and thought it was because they'd had me on my left side. I tried to flip over to the right side (with some help from Lance) but that didn't help either. I was feeling the contractions again. I let Carla know and she told me that she though the baby had probably moved down into the birth canal and things were really starting to happen. She would check me again soon and find that I was almost at 10, but I needed a little more progress on my left side, I flipped back over to my left side. In the midst of all this, they called the anesthesiologist back in to give me a little bit more on the epidural and that worked within 10 minutes. Around 2:45, we did a test push to make sure I could still push with the epidural and with that confirmed, we waited for the doctors to arrive. Even though I was under the full influence of the epidural, I did feel some slight pressure to push, but was able to wait until everyone was ready. Shortly after 3pm, I was given the okay to push. I was extremely emotional at this point, and started bawling. I thought about how long I've been waiting for this little guy and the fact that I would have him in my arms so soon was almost too much to take in. But, it wasn't time to cry, it was time to do my job. I pushed hard for three pushes and then they told me to stop. I heard them suctioning the baby's nose and mouth and knew that he was almost here. More tears. One more push and out he came, a really big boy, born into this world at 3:14pm! The pediatrician actually missed the birth since it happened so fast and everyone seemed really impressed with my pushing. Not sure why that made me feel good, but I guess when it's your job to do that and everyone is impressed, you have to feel good. :)


This is the point where they ask if you want the baby on your chest. To be truthful, I'm the kind of girl that wants the baby all cleaned up before they give him to me, but for some reason when they asked this time, the answer was yes, please put him on my chest. Not sure if it was the weeks and weeks of anticipation, or knowing that this is my last baby, but I really needed to see him and hold him right away. I wasn't disappointed either. I looked at him and fell in love. All that time of wondering who he would look like and here he was, looking right at me.  A great combination of Lance and myself. Lance's forehead, eyebrows, eyes and my nose, chin and chubby cheeks. From what I could tell, he looked a lot like Morgan did as a baby. He had blondish hair and lots of it and tons of rolls on his legs and arms. Everyone kept commenting on how big he was and he really felt substantial in my arms. My boy.

They took him to do the Apgar and weigh him. We could hardly believe it when they placed him on the scale. 9 lbs 9 oz!! WOW! Considering both Morgan and Bennett weighed in at 7 lbs, 11 oz this was out of nowhere! Then the nurses started commenting on his umbilical cord. I thought maybe there was something wrong with it - maybe there was a knot or something and immediately started to get concerned. But the strange thing was that they were smiling. I asked them what they were talking about and they said that he had a huge cord and it was no wonder he was so big, I was providing him with all kinds of good stuff. I smiled, happy to hear all the positive comments. They gave him his Hep B shot and gave him back to me. He was making a sound that they didn't really like, so while they swaddled him and handed him back to me, they warned me that if he didn't stop making that sound, they were going to have to take him to the nursery. Lance and I looked him over and we decided that he did, in fact, look like a Landon (our first pick name). We named him Landon Lee, Lee being mine, my mother's and my grandma's middle names.

Now, I guess it wouldn't be a birth of one of my children if they weren't taken immediately to the nursery. Morgan had a heart murmur, Bennett had a weak cry, and now this baby was making a sound like he had "stuff" he couldn't get out. I tried to nurse him and see if he would stop making the sound, and they thought it had worked because he sounded better momentarily, but then he started again. I decided I'd rather they take him and make sure he's okay and so they took him to the nursery to suction his stomach. Lance went with them and said that they suctioned out 4cc of fluid. Apparently this isn't that much, but it was thick mucus and afterward he was doing great. While Landon was in the nursery, I called my friend Melissa who was keeping Morgan and Bennett that afternoon. I talked to both of the kids and let them know that their brother had arrived. I texted a picture of him to them and we arranged for when they would come up to the hospital to meet him. Morgan was excited to meet him and Bennett was more excited by the cookies they had decorated at Melissa's and were eating right then. :)

I sent out an email announcement, posted it on Facebook and let the whole world know how delighted we were to finally meet our little "big" guy. The emails and comments started flooding in and it was fun to read them all while I was killing time, waiting for them to bring my baby back! I finally got tired of waiting and called Lance to see what was going on. He let me know that everything was okay and they'd be bringing him back soon. When they did, I nursed him some more and he sounded much better. What a relief!

Before I knew it, Melissa was dropping the kids off to meet their brother. Both of them were so cute and so sweet with him, it was great! While they were here, Carla gave Landon his first bath and the kids watched, especially Morgan, as they went about getting our little guy cleaned up. The kids hung out with us for about an hour before Bennett started getting restless and so everyone went to dinner and left Landon and I at the hospital for some bonding time. Sweet baby bonding time. I held him and couldn't stop kissing his chubby little cheeks. I couldn't quit holding his sweet baby hands and counting his cute baby toes. This is my son. My baby. I felt this complete sense of satisfaction that my family is now complete.

Before long, Lance was back and we just took turns ooohing and aahhing over this little child. I'm such a lucky girl, what an amazing blessing.

They say each pregnancy and baby are different....

....and this little guy is proving that he's going to make his mark on this world. Either he's the most mellow baby in the world, or he's already trying his hand at testing his mother's patience!

It's hard to be such a planner and to have zero control or predictability about going into labor and delivering a baby. Given that Morgan was 10 days early and Bennett 7 days early, I never thought I'd be sitting here a day before my due date wondering how an induction is going to go. But so goes life and I suppose it's all part of my journey as a mother.

I suppose it would not be as disappointing or tiring if I hadn't been having real contractions for two weeks now. Last night was the straw that broke the camel's back, however. At 2:30 in the morning, the contractions were so reminiscent of previous labors that I thought for sure that this little stinker decided to pave his own way two days before the scheduled induction. I was in pain for a couple of hours and then it stopped just as quickly as it had started. This has pretty much been the way things have gone for the past few weeks. Totally frustrating and always leaving me disappointed as I inevitably had started thinking about how it's going to be to feel this baby in my arms and smell his sweet baby's breath. 

Patience is certainly no virtue of mine, but at least I know that this is all coming to and end (or is it a beginning?) tomorrow as I go in for my scheduled induction. It's a good thing too, as the kids are getting antsy about meeting their little brother. Every night for the past week or so, Morgan has said goodnight to me, "see you in the morning, if not sooner!" and anxiously awaits news of a baby during each day.

I'm extremely nervous about being induced, as I've never before experienced anything remotely close to an induction. Never had to have anything stripped, never had to have pitocin, etc. I just keep praying that all the contractions I've been having have progressed my further than the 1cm I was dialated a week ago and that all I need is a subtle push to get things really going. For real this time.

Can't wait to meet the final member of our family tomorrow. I wonder who he's going to look like and what his temperament is going to be like. They say that each child is different...