I often wondered if my mom might have secretly been Emily Post. It wasn't like we lived some high brow life style, but it seemed like my Mom always knew the right things to do. From the timeline on writing thank you cards to when it was okay to wear what type of clothing to the right thing to say during difficult times, my mother always seems to know the answer. In fact, at times, friends have asked me for advice on ettiquette on a few occasions, and I often let them know that I will run it by my Mom. She knows everything! Hopefully some of this has rubbed off on me.
9. Go to church, every Sunday
I remember fighting with my Mom on some Sundays, not wanting to go through the effort of getting ready for church, making the 20 minute drive there and sitting through what I deemed to be a boring and lengthy service. However, if it weren't for that being ingrained in my heart and soul from an early age, I am not sure that myself or my family would have our relationship with God that we have now. She must have known how my soul would long for the filling up I get on Sundays and how that would lead me down the path of a stronger walk with the Lord.
8. Never put something in writing you wouldn't want someone to see
I am pretty sure this one has bitten me on the butt several times, but I often have my mother's voice in my head as I put my proverbial pen to paper, whether it be an email, a blog or an actual letter. I always keep this exact quote in mind. It not only helps keep me honest, but it also forces me to be empathetic.
7. Don't let people take advantage of you
I wasn't too old when my mother first recognized that I was a strong personality and often attracted a certain type of "friend" who needed guidance or help from a stronger person. My mother was always cautioning me to make sure I wasn't being taken advantage of by various friends who might not have been as good for me as was trying to be for them. I have a tendency to want to help, or "fix" these friends and it's lead to many heartbreaks for me. My mother was also fairly good about limiting the "I told you so's". :)
6. It's not easy to be a good parent, but it is easy to be a bad parent (Also known as: If I didn't care, I would let you do that)
My parents modeled this lesson by example. They were very strict with myself and my brother growing up and while it was hard to understand why then, being a parent now I realize how discipline and consistency are the keys to good parenting. We've often talked about the easy way out (giving in to what the kids want) vs. the hard way (being consistent) and I've seen it pay off with my own kids as they've grown. I only hope my fortitude will remain as we enter the teenage years!
5. Make traditions, make memories
This isn't a lesson that I was explicitly taught, but it was one I learned by being in a family that was really close and that thrived on traditions and made lots of memories. Some of these traditions, I've carried on into my own family (hamburgers on Christmas Eve, birthday dinners, etc) and I've even made new traditions. When I think back to my own childhood, it was even the tiniest of traditions that created the biggest memories. I hope my kids will be able to look back and have the same feelings I have.
4. Give lots of hugs and even more kisses
This is another lesson that nobody had to teach, I just learned. I remember even when I was much too big to be crawling into my momma's lap, sitting there basking in her love. Uncounted hugs, uncounted kisses - given freely to me just for being there.
3. It's not all about you
My mother has always taken time out for others. I've seen her lead this lesson by example my entire life. If someone was sick, she would bring them dinner. If there was help that was needed at school or at church, you would most likely find her there helping. She got us involved too. We would help buy and give gifts to those less fortunate than us as kids. Heck, she even keeps track of how often she can give blood (she is often low on iron and can only give so often), and when she can she does. She taught us that there is more to life than us. That we are not the center of the universe, that we are part of a community and that it's important to give back.
2. Take time for yourself, you are important too
Lest you think my mother was some sort of martyr that only gave and never took care of herself, please let me be the one to tell you that my momma is a well rounded lady. She has bridge nights, couples' bridge, golf, handbells, choir, dinners/breakfast and movie nights with friends, mah johng, etc. The list goes on and on and it always has. She has a life. She is not defined by being a wife or a mother or any one thing. She is well rounded and I love her for teaching me that lesson.
1. You can do anything you set your mind to
My mother would regularly say this to me. Exactly as I've stated it above. There was no doubt in her mind and therefore little room for doubt in mine. If I wanted something, all I had to do was decide I wanted it and do the work and it would be mine. I cannot even begin to explain how big a role this lesson has played in my life. I only hope I'm able to do the same for my children.
My Momma. She's pretty amazing, right?
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