Yin and Yang

My husband is often hit or miss with his gestures of love and appreciation. There was that time that he gave me a RADAR DETECTOR for Valentine's Day. Not only do I hate the annoying noises that they make and didn't really need one, but c'mon. A radar detector for a girl?? And I'm a girly girl, too. Obviously, not hitting the mark, he gave it another shot and after hearing me say repeatedly every night that winter how I wish I could warm up my side of the bed before I got into it, he got me an electric blanket for St. Patrick's Day. You read that right. And not able to find any appropriate wrapping paper, he actually got a St. Patty's Day tablecloth to utilize for the occasion. What am I going to remember about that whole thing? Not really the radar detector, but the fact that he made it up to me with the electric blanket. That, in a nutshell, is my husband.

This morning, I woke up to this on the kitchen counter, with a lovely card that expressed to me that the best thing about him was ME (did your knees go weak too?). You know what this is, people? This is an ORCHID. Which is clearly a very nice gesture from my husband. You know what his gesture says? It says, "I have faith in my wife". I'm well known across this country for my ability to kill any living plant. So, obviously, my husband has faith in me to give me an ORCHID of all things. :) I love it!

Nine years ago today, I married my best friend. Some of you reading this right now were there to witness our special day. Some of you have come into our lives afterwards. Most of you know how we met, but I'll tell our tale here for anyone who may have accidentally stumbled across this sappy profession of love.

I was going to school in Auburn, AL. I met one of my best friends there while we were working at the local mall. I worked at a toy store and she worked at a shoe store. We became fast friends and she introduced me to all things related to this new frontier - the world wide web! She met her soon-to-be boyfriend on mIRC (oh yeah, we're old school!) and she flew out to California and met him. Things seemed to go really well and before I knew it, she was graduating and moving across the country to be with him. She needed someone to drive in the U-Haul with her and who is crazy enough to do that? *looks around*. Yeah, I guess that would be me. We'd already taken lots of road trips together (one trip to Texas with "Just Married" painted in shoe polish on the back of my car -- with it still on my car, my parents were less than impressed with this when they came up for a surprise visit to Auburn and couldn't be certain that I had NOT actually gotten married). This was going to be just another road trip! Three or four days across the grand ole USA.

Now, the whole trip out to California was quite an adventure. We're talking broken down U-Haul's, no air conditioning, etc. But, throughout the trip, my friend kept telling me about her boyfriend's roommate, Lance. I had been "single" for the better part of two years, after a really bad experience with my ex-fiance. I had been with him for something like five years? Which in teenage/young adult years is practically a life time. I was not interested in settling back down anytime soon. I was rather enjoying playing the field and had lots of stories of the many guys in Auburn I dated. Oh the stories! Anyhow - I wasn't looking for a guy, certainly not one in California.

After a very loooooong trip to California, we landed at her boyfriend's apartment and crashed. And I do mean crashed. Gosh, that would be TWELVE YEARS AGO TODAY. I woke up on a strange couch, looked around and I saw this guy, sitting in a rocking chair, quietly eating a hamburger on a paper plate. This was my first vision of my husband. I know, romantic, right?? Hands off, ladies - he's all mine! Anyhow. I sit up and he says "You must be Paige". Thank goodness the stranger in this strange place that I was just sleeping at least knows my name. Yes, that's me. He introduces himself as Lance.

At first glance, I could not understand why my friend, the one who had SEEN the guys I was dating, had figured that I'd be interested in Lance. He was NOTHING like the guys I had been dating. The guys I dated were all very athletic (ahh, the tennis dates!), dark hair, and MUCH taller than me. I never dated someone who I could look them in the eyes if I just stood on the tips of my toes in the slightest. WHAT A RELIEF. No worries about having to deal with a long distance relationship or any of that mess.

Except, you know what? Looking back, he started working on me in a quiet way. I spent the rest of my week in California hanging out with this really cool guy. I love to tell the story about how we celebrated his birthday while I was there. They had this big party for him. And you know where he was? With me. Just talking. And talking. And talking. They actually had to come find us so that he could blow out the candles on his cake. But, soooo not my type. This is what I kept telling myself. Looking back, I can see that I was trying to convince myself. Because if he was my type, that would really make things complicated.

I went back to Alabama at the end of that week and I felt empty. I had fallen in love with the area in California, but I believe that it was more than just California that was calling me back. Speaking of calling, this man who now NEVER talks on the phone? We talked on the phone every day. For hours. Until one day, I made up my mind that I was moving to California. This was when my parents paid me the surprise visit because they didn't understand WHY on EARTH I would up and move 3000 miles away from all my friends and family. But, California really suits me. And, obviously, I had stuff to do out here. Like marry my soul mate.

So, I moved out to California and eventually, Lance and I got engaged and nine years ago today, three years after the day that I woke up on that couch and met him for the first time, with his hands all greasy from the hamburger, we got married in a small redwood grove in Saratoga, California.

You know why I married him? Because where I'm inpatient, he has patience. He loves me for exactly who I am, remarkably, even when that changes (sometimes on an hourly basis). He has never asked me to change who I am or do something different. He has unconditional acceptance of me, and for someone with my past, that means a lot to me. When I'm flying off the handle and overly upset, he's equally overly calm. When I'm ready to make a big step (buying a car, a house, having a baby, etc), he accepts my nudging, all the while, keeping me grounded. We've always talked about how we fit together. We go together because we are so different in so many ways, but also have so much in common. He's the yin to my yang.

Nine years ago, I married my best friend in a small wedding, surrounded by family and friends. It is one of my favorite memories from my life. It's cataloged there between memories like meeting him for the first time, buying our house, and bringing home our daughter and our son. There are also some harder memories in there. Ones that have really tested the foundation of our relationship. That's what happens in marriages. I'm glad to be married to my best friend, who is able to stick things out and work hard at this thing we now call our life and our family. This is what life is supposed to be. I'm so lucky and so blessed to have these memories. All of them. Here's to many more!