After the terrible days I've been having with my strong-willed two year old, I up and decided it was the perfect time to go on a date with my husband. I called up my niece and got her to come babysit and made sure Lance would be home from work in plenty of time. I got showered and prettied up and then we went to dinner at Demetri's, where I had one too many glasses of wine for dinner! :) After that, we took in a movie at the local movie theater, seeing Angels and Demons. The movie was long and slow, but it was good to be away together. It gave us something to talk about since the movie was not nearly as good as it should have been, both of us having read the book. Plus, walking around downtown is fun!
It always makes me feel better to go out on the town with my hubby. It makes me remember why we are together and that we have connections that go beyond just raising a family. It's like a momentary slide back into life before kids. You can almost taste the carefree nature you had back then!
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Friday, May 22, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Busy bees!
Today was a full but fun day! It started with my mom and I going to the gym and then Lance and my dad taking Morgan to Lowe's to build bird houses with their Build and Grow program. They all had a great time and while they were gone, my mom and I got ready to take Morgan shopping when she got back. I figured she was old enough to hang with us on a girls outing to lunch and shop!
We let her pick the lunching destination (Chili's, of course) and then after, we headed to Kohl's because I had gotten a 20% off coupon in the mail. Plus they had Early Bird specials that ended at 1. Here's what we learned.
1. While Morgan may be big enough for a casual shopping trip, she is not old enough to hang with the "oh my gosh, the sale ends in 20 minutes and we need her to try on all these clothes" mentality.
2. My mom and I make a great team when it comes to undressing and dressing Morgan in upwards of a dozen outfits in record time!
3. All the shirts they make these days are too tight.
4. It was completely worth it to rush through the shopping to get the 20% off!!
After shopping, we came home and I collapsed and then later, got ready for my second date with my hubby in as many days. We were going to go play bocce ball, but after last night's dinner and movie (expensive sushi & Sunshine Cleaners), we opted for something less expensive. Dinner at Tomatinos and another movie (Knowing)! Given the heavy topic last night, we kept it light and only discussed things like religion. ;-) But it was great to be able to have an uninterrupted, meaningful conversation with my husband. It was also quite ironic that we went and saw Knowing right after our conversation, because it was similar in topic.
It seems like I say it all the time and never do anything about it, but we really need to start doing regular date nights. I miss them!!
We let her pick the lunching destination (Chili's, of course) and then after, we headed to Kohl's because I had gotten a 20% off coupon in the mail. Plus they had Early Bird specials that ended at 1. Here's what we learned.
1. While Morgan may be big enough for a casual shopping trip, she is not old enough to hang with the "oh my gosh, the sale ends in 20 minutes and we need her to try on all these clothes" mentality.
2. My mom and I make a great team when it comes to undressing and dressing Morgan in upwards of a dozen outfits in record time!
3. All the shirts they make these days are too tight.
4. It was completely worth it to rush through the shopping to get the 20% off!!
After shopping, we came home and I collapsed and then later, got ready for my second date with my hubby in as many days. We were going to go play bocce ball, but after last night's dinner and movie (expensive sushi & Sunshine Cleaners), we opted for something less expensive. Dinner at Tomatinos and another movie (Knowing)! Given the heavy topic last night, we kept it light and only discussed things like religion. ;-) But it was great to be able to have an uninterrupted, meaningful conversation with my husband. It was also quite ironic that we went and saw Knowing right after our conversation, because it was similar in topic.
It seems like I say it all the time and never do anything about it, but we really need to start doing regular date nights. I miss them!!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Grace in small things
Another wonderful day. Here's my list of five things I'm grateful for today.
1. My tennis club membership. It's such a luxury (especially in this economic climate), but it really does help me retain my sanity. I can go there, drop off the kids and get lost in my music and exercise for a good hour or so. Then, I can take my time and shower, shave my legs, hang out in the sauna, dry my hair, do my makeup and basically make myself feel like a woman. I love the feeling I have every day when I leave there. For that, I will overlook the ludicrous amount it costs to go there to exercise.
2. A wonderful library program. I've been trying to take Bennett to story time at the library once a week since Christmas. Except for illness, he's been to them all and he LOVES them. He asks me to sing songs from them, he talks about stories that were read to him there, and he loves checking out his very own books to bring home. And I love that our playgroup met there today. :)
3. Daisies. When you look for options for extracurricular activities for your child, there's always a sport to be played or dance lessons to be taken. Luckily for us, my good friend Kristin wanted to start a Daisy troop (first level of girl scouts) at Morgan's school. Where sports can teach things like teamwork and sportsmanship, Daisies teaches things like character. I believe it's particularly important as these girls are now exposed to so many different things and people since they are now school aged. The girls will be together as a troop for a good long while, and it makes me happy to know that they will have all been taught things like how to treat friends, taking care of the earth and how to defend yourself against a stranger. I'm so happy to have such an activity for Morgan.
4. I'm so thankful that my friend Kristin agrees to keep Morgan with her between Morgan's reading group and Daisies. She does this even when she's got so much work to do to set up for Daisies and she does it when she knows that I can't be there to help. Ever since Lance got his new job, he hasn't been able to work from home (which was the original plan since Daisy meetings are every other Wednesday) and subsequently be there to "watch" Bennett during his nap. So, instead of me having to go pick Morgan up after reading group (at 1:10) and then have her back in time for Daisies at 2pm and then picking her back up at 3, I'm able to be at home with Bennett while he naps. Don't underestimate how important a nap is to an almost-two-year-old!
5. I'm thankful for a husband who understand that even though my obligations may not drive income, they are still important and he will go out of his way to come home so I can be where I need to be on time. I know this seems like a simple thing, but you'd be amazed at how many women have problems with this! Of course, I would never be married to those men anyway, but I still have to give props to my husband.
1. My tennis club membership. It's such a luxury (especially in this economic climate), but it really does help me retain my sanity. I can go there, drop off the kids and get lost in my music and exercise for a good hour or so. Then, I can take my time and shower, shave my legs, hang out in the sauna, dry my hair, do my makeup and basically make myself feel like a woman. I love the feeling I have every day when I leave there. For that, I will overlook the ludicrous amount it costs to go there to exercise.
2. A wonderful library program. I've been trying to take Bennett to story time at the library once a week since Christmas. Except for illness, he's been to them all and he LOVES them. He asks me to sing songs from them, he talks about stories that were read to him there, and he loves checking out his very own books to bring home. And I love that our playgroup met there today. :)
3. Daisies. When you look for options for extracurricular activities for your child, there's always a sport to be played or dance lessons to be taken. Luckily for us, my good friend Kristin wanted to start a Daisy troop (first level of girl scouts) at Morgan's school. Where sports can teach things like teamwork and sportsmanship, Daisies teaches things like character. I believe it's particularly important as these girls are now exposed to so many different things and people since they are now school aged. The girls will be together as a troop for a good long while, and it makes me happy to know that they will have all been taught things like how to treat friends, taking care of the earth and how to defend yourself against a stranger. I'm so happy to have such an activity for Morgan.4. I'm so thankful that my friend Kristin agrees to keep Morgan with her between Morgan's reading group and Daisies. She does this even when she's got so much work to do to set up for Daisies and she does it when she knows that I can't be there to help. Ever since Lance got his new job, he hasn't been able to work from home (which was the original plan since Daisy meetings are every other Wednesday) and subsequently be there to "watch" Bennett during his nap. So, instead of me having to go pick Morgan up after reading group (at 1:10) and then have her back in time for Daisies at 2pm and then picking her back up at 3, I'm able to be at home with Bennett while he naps. Don't underestimate how important a nap is to an almost-two-year-old!
5. I'm thankful for a husband who understand that even though my obligations may not drive income, they are still important and he will go out of his way to come home so I can be where I need to be on time. I know this seems like a simple thing, but you'd be amazed at how many women have problems with this! Of course, I would never be married to those men anyway, but I still have to give props to my husband.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Me time
I've gotten an unusually supple amount of "me" time this weekend. Friday night was date night, Saturday I had a baby shower and then coffee with a friend after, and then today I spent the majority of the afternoon painting a ceramic plate with a friend. Whenever this happens, part of me starts feeling guilty over not spending more of that time with the kids or my husband. Part of me feels guilty about being so self-centered. But mostly, I'm thankful that I have a husband to go out on a date with, friends who want to hang out with me, and a husband who will take charge of the kids when I need or want to get out.
I have a lot of girl friends who have to practically barter for time out of the house without kids. I understand that you don't want someone to be taken advantage of, and that everyone needs their time alone, but really? A lot of times, these are the women that need it the most. One woman I know is the mother of a six year old, a three year old and a less than one year old. She practically NEVER gets out on her own. I just can't imagine! I guess I can't fathom it because I have always been and will always be a very independent person. Just as much as I enjoy going out on my own and being a woman and not a mother or even a wife, I know my husband enjoys the same. For example, he told me he wanted to get some geocaching in this weekend. Well, I took the kids to the park for three hours this morning/afternoon to give him the time he needed. We give and we take. It all works out in the end, and I have to believe it makes us all happier.
It almost makes the disastrous house and bickering kids seem manageable.
I have a lot of girl friends who have to practically barter for time out of the house without kids. I understand that you don't want someone to be taken advantage of, and that everyone needs their time alone, but really? A lot of times, these are the women that need it the most. One woman I know is the mother of a six year old, a three year old and a less than one year old. She practically NEVER gets out on her own. I just can't imagine! I guess I can't fathom it because I have always been and will always be a very independent person. Just as much as I enjoy going out on my own and being a woman and not a mother or even a wife, I know my husband enjoys the same. For example, he told me he wanted to get some geocaching in this weekend. Well, I took the kids to the park for three hours this morning/afternoon to give him the time he needed. We give and we take. It all works out in the end, and I have to believe it makes us all happier.
It almost makes the disastrous house and bickering kids seem manageable.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
It's not all about me
This morning, after dropping Morgan and her friend Colin off at school, I ran home to whip up a fruit salad and then headed over to my MOPS meeting. This time, instead of a craft, we had a speaker. Since the theme of MOPS this year is "Adventures in Mothering", the topic of today's discussion was "A Three Ring Circus".
The speaker did an excellent job talking about balance and what that means. She talked about how people typically fall into one of two categories - "people" people or "task" people. She talked about how you'll know the "task" people because they have all their cereals and pastas in Tupperware containers. Neatly organized. Alphabetically. And lined up properly. To "task" people, these types of activities bring them happiness. The "people" people would rather do activities with other people and their cereal and pastas are in the cabinet in the general vicinity of the grains. :) While I believe that I have a talent for organization, I'm very much a people person. I love hanging out with my family and friends.
The speaker talked about balancing your life by adding more of the things you LOVE to do to your daily life. Yeah, we all have things we don't want to do, but we have to be responsible adults. They need to get done, but does everything have to get done every day? She suggested picking three things. And making at least two of them things you LOVE to do. She said to not add anything else to your plate until the three are done. And then, when they are done? Add just one more. If you have to put that one off until tomorrow because you can't do it, that's okay, too. Also, there are things that maybe you don't LOVE to do, but that you do well. For me, that's organization. I do it well, but it's not what drives me. So, it's something that I would just naturally do.
Does it all have to be done by us (meaning us moms)? This was a point that really struck me. Because since I've been staying at home, I've been trying very hard to "do it all". To do all the things that I couldn't do because I was working. Couldn't organize my house. Couldn't even keep it clean. Couldn't spend time with my kids doing their activities. Couldn't take them to the park every day. Couldn't spend much time with my friends. Couldn't enjoy every weekend with my family because there was always something that I had to do because I couldn't get to it during the week. So, now? I'm trying to do it all. And I'm not letting anyone else help. I have taken sole responsibility for the house, the food, the activities, the financial planning and tracking, the yard, etc., etc.
The speaker pointed out that by trying to do it all ourselves, we are doing a disservice to the other people in our family. When we do it all, where does that leave everyone else? It's true that maybe the kids can't mop the floor the right way, but why not let them try if that's what they want to do? Why not let them contribute? And with our husbands, why not hand some of it over to them? What makes us think that they WANT us to do it all? Maybe they feel cut out.
This really hit home with me. My husband is wonderfully indecisive. I say wonderfully because I'm not at all indecisive. And this has worked for ME. But, maybe this isn't the best thing for us. We need to continue to live our lives as a couple, even when sometimes it's easier for me to just do it myself. Because that's not fair to him.
Here was her idea. Make a big spreadsheet of all the stuff you have to do. Each week, let every member of the family pick the things they LOVE to do. Then let every member pick the things that they do well, but maybe don't love. What you'll be left with are the things nobody wants to do. And then, do them together and make them fun.
I'm going to have a discussion with my hubby on this and see what he thinks. Because you know what, this isn't just about me. It's about my family too. And if there's a way to make everyone happier, then I'm all about that. Just wait until I spring this one on Lance. Honey! I'm going to make you soooo happy! You can do laundry again!! :)
The speaker did an excellent job talking about balance and what that means. She talked about how people typically fall into one of two categories - "people" people or "task" people. She talked about how you'll know the "task" people because they have all their cereals and pastas in Tupperware containers. Neatly organized. Alphabetically. And lined up properly. To "task" people, these types of activities bring them happiness. The "people" people would rather do activities with other people and their cereal and pastas are in the cabinet in the general vicinity of the grains. :) While I believe that I have a talent for organization, I'm very much a people person. I love hanging out with my family and friends.
The speaker talked about balancing your life by adding more of the things you LOVE to do to your daily life. Yeah, we all have things we don't want to do, but we have to be responsible adults. They need to get done, but does everything have to get done every day? She suggested picking three things. And making at least two of them things you LOVE to do. She said to not add anything else to your plate until the three are done. And then, when they are done? Add just one more. If you have to put that one off until tomorrow because you can't do it, that's okay, too. Also, there are things that maybe you don't LOVE to do, but that you do well. For me, that's organization. I do it well, but it's not what drives me. So, it's something that I would just naturally do.
Does it all have to be done by us (meaning us moms)? This was a point that really struck me. Because since I've been staying at home, I've been trying very hard to "do it all". To do all the things that I couldn't do because I was working. Couldn't organize my house. Couldn't even keep it clean. Couldn't spend time with my kids doing their activities. Couldn't take them to the park every day. Couldn't spend much time with my friends. Couldn't enjoy every weekend with my family because there was always something that I had to do because I couldn't get to it during the week. So, now? I'm trying to do it all. And I'm not letting anyone else help. I have taken sole responsibility for the house, the food, the activities, the financial planning and tracking, the yard, etc., etc.
The speaker pointed out that by trying to do it all ourselves, we are doing a disservice to the other people in our family. When we do it all, where does that leave everyone else? It's true that maybe the kids can't mop the floor the right way, but why not let them try if that's what they want to do? Why not let them contribute? And with our husbands, why not hand some of it over to them? What makes us think that they WANT us to do it all? Maybe they feel cut out.
This really hit home with me. My husband is wonderfully indecisive. I say wonderfully because I'm not at all indecisive. And this has worked for ME. But, maybe this isn't the best thing for us. We need to continue to live our lives as a couple, even when sometimes it's easier for me to just do it myself. Because that's not fair to him.
Here was her idea. Make a big spreadsheet of all the stuff you have to do. Each week, let every member of the family pick the things they LOVE to do. Then let every member pick the things that they do well, but maybe don't love. What you'll be left with are the things nobody wants to do. And then, do them together and make them fun.
I'm going to have a discussion with my hubby on this and see what he thinks. Because you know what, this isn't just about me. It's about my family too. And if there's a way to make everyone happier, then I'm all about that. Just wait until I spring this one on Lance. Honey! I'm going to make you soooo happy! You can do laundry again!! :)
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
What's balances it all
Things I'm not tired of:
- chunky little thighs
- a little girl who thinks I'm the whole world
- dimples on a smiling face
- giggles
- purposeful acts of kindness to others
- having a helper
- scrunched up nose when he smiles
- a husband who will go out and get me coffee at 7am when we have NO COFFEE in the house (imagine the ramifications!!)
- a husband who will also go buy a muffin when I can't manage to bake any
- Eskimo kisses
- butterfly kisses
- hugs
- "I love you"
- watching Bennett point out the brown bear, red bird, yellow duck, blue horse, green frog, purple cat, white dog, black sheep, goldfish, teacher and children in Brown Bear
- listening to Morgan talk about school
- having Morgan tell me that Ms. Abby (music teacher) has a "BEAUTIFUL voice!" and show me a steady beat
- watching Bennett's vocabulary explode
- seeing the kids play together
- seeing the kids hugging and kissing each other
- nap time
- being able to go to the gym and workout. alone.
- rocking my son who will soon not want to sit still long enough for that
- reading with Morgan and watching her love of literature grow
- not going to work outside the home
- having the opportunity to do fun stuff with the kids EVERY day
- The hours between 10 and noon
- hanging out with my husband in the evenings
- hanging out with my friends
- stubby little fingers and toes
- tickling my kids
- belly laughs
- being silly
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Seeking responsible person for time alone with hubby
Please do not alert the responsible parent society, but we have been out, sans kids, for TWO whole nights this week. That's right. We just ditched them and went out on the town. Not once, but TWICE. Thursday to the fondue place and last night for a couples game night. We thoroughly enjoyed both nights out, especially since they are so few and far between.
With no grandparents in town to dote on the kids when we want some time alone, Lance and I have to use our babysitter time preciously. To add to the complication, my niece who has been our primary babysitter is now working. And on SATURDAY nights, too. I know! She totally didn't even consult us on her plans! How dare she! ;) So, now comes to the time to find another, probably not-related-to-us babysitter. That is, if we ever want to go out alone. And trust me, we aren't like these other parents that would really rather be at home with the kids. We like to go out, just the two of us.
The thing is? I really don't know how to find the right babysitter. Especially now that we have two kids with varying needs. I've always relied on my niece, some friends, or just waiting until grandma was in town. But I just think that we're gonna have to bite the bullet and just find a somewhat standing babysitter. I'm not even sure the best way to do this. Do I put some sort of ad out there? Married parents seek responsible, fun, smart, loving, inexpensive person who is available at our beck and call to watch our sassy daughter and therapy-inducing son. Oh yeah. I can practically hear them pounding down the door as we speak.
Why can't I find someone like ME when I was in high school? Oh man, I was good. I sought out parents who needed babysitters. Yeah. I'd see bikes in the front yard and think "BINGO!" I even got a standing job that way with some parents who lived down the street from us. Every Saturday night, I got paid, whether they went out or not. Just for the dependability of having me available. Now, I certainly can't afford an arrangement like that, especially not with the cost of a good sitter these days, but oh man. Once a month, even, would be nice.
An option that Lance offered was to put them in the nursery at the tennis club and relax on some comfy couches there and just hang out. How sad are we?
With no grandparents in town to dote on the kids when we want some time alone, Lance and I have to use our babysitter time preciously. To add to the complication, my niece who has been our primary babysitter is now working. And on SATURDAY nights, too. I know! She totally didn't even consult us on her plans! How dare she! ;) So, now comes to the time to find another, probably not-related-to-us babysitter. That is, if we ever want to go out alone. And trust me, we aren't like these other parents that would really rather be at home with the kids. We like to go out, just the two of us.
The thing is? I really don't know how to find the right babysitter. Especially now that we have two kids with varying needs. I've always relied on my niece, some friends, or just waiting until grandma was in town. But I just think that we're gonna have to bite the bullet and just find a somewhat standing babysitter. I'm not even sure the best way to do this. Do I put some sort of ad out there? Married parents seek responsible, fun, smart, loving, inexpensive person who is available at our beck and call to watch our sassy daughter and therapy-inducing son. Oh yeah. I can practically hear them pounding down the door as we speak.
Why can't I find someone like ME when I was in high school? Oh man, I was good. I sought out parents who needed babysitters. Yeah. I'd see bikes in the front yard and think "BINGO!" I even got a standing job that way with some parents who lived down the street from us. Every Saturday night, I got paid, whether they went out or not. Just for the dependability of having me available. Now, I certainly can't afford an arrangement like that, especially not with the cost of a good sitter these days, but oh man. Once a month, even, would be nice.
An option that Lance offered was to put them in the nursery at the tennis club and relax on some comfy couches there and just hang out. How sad are we?
Friday, July 11, 2008
Just to set the record straight...
I don't often send my bloggings to my husband or ask that he read my blabberings. But given that yesterday was our anniversary and that I'd outwardly professed my love and devotion to him in a very public manner, I sent him a little email with a link to my blog with a quick note saying Happy Anniversary. See you tonight. Love, P.
So, he reads it, comments "you're welcome" and that's it, right?
Well, he gets home from work and my visions of the kids sleeping in bed and me standing fully dressed in a strapless gown in the dining room with candles lit and Billie Holiday playing in the background when he arrived home, had already disintegrated into me standing at the top of the stairs in a towel with my hair dripping as I'm yelling down at the kids "Morgan WHAT are you doing?? Are you done YET?? Bennett WHAT did you just throw from your highchair??" as I'm frantically trying to get ready and get the kids fed simultaneously. Did I mention that the lobster tail that I was planning to use in the dish I was going to make for us was still thawing in the sink?
Anyhooooo - he walks in and heads upstairs where I instantly abandon plan A and go straight into plan B. See, I had already made reservations at a local fondue place for dessert and had already arranged for my niece to come hang out while the kids slept. Only, we could actually go and have a complete dinner that neither one of us had to cook and one that I didn't have to rush through getting ready for. After a few moments of discussion, the decision was made and the lobster tail was packed back up and put in the refrigerator for another night. I continue getting ready, he bathes Bennett and puts him to bed while Morgan is showering upstairs and I'm getting ready. Lance comes upstairs to shave and announces that my blog entry was long. I asked him if he liked it and he said he did. Then we were distracted by a certain 5 year old who was stalling bedtime in the hopes that she'd catch a glimpse of her cousin.
After getting to the restaurant, we pick the conversation back up and he told me that he COULDN'T BELIEVE I told everyone about the radar detector. To which I stated the obvious. I've already told everyone. Duh! I ask him if his recollection of the events were the same as mine. He tells me that they are, for the most part, but that I was REALLY emphatic about my resistance to him. I told him that it was a historical truth. He also tried to debate me on the fact that he was eating a hamburger off a paper plate when I woke up that day, but some things are just etched in your memory forever and that is one that will forever be etched in mine. I know, it's so romantic and all, it would be hard for me to forget, right?
So the conversation leads to me asking him about how often he reads my blog. Whenever I send him a link. *blink**blink*. I decided then and there (and I told him so, too) that I'm going to start fabricating things about him, or worse, TELL THE FULL TRUTH, to make sure he's paying attention. I think it's only fair that if I'm the one recording our family's history, he should at least review it. Don't you think?
In that vein, last night, he farted in his sleep twice in a row. REALLY LOUD.
We had a wonderful, four-course dinner last night without any "quit throwing food" and "EAT!" comments necessary. Okay, well maybe only once or twice.
So, he reads it, comments "you're welcome" and that's it, right?
Well, he gets home from work and my visions of the kids sleeping in bed and me standing fully dressed in a strapless gown in the dining room with candles lit and Billie Holiday playing in the background when he arrived home, had already disintegrated into me standing at the top of the stairs in a towel with my hair dripping as I'm yelling down at the kids "Morgan WHAT are you doing?? Are you done YET?? Bennett WHAT did you just throw from your highchair??" as I'm frantically trying to get ready and get the kids fed simultaneously. Did I mention that the lobster tail that I was planning to use in the dish I was going to make for us was still thawing in the sink?
Anyhooooo - he walks in and heads upstairs where I instantly abandon plan A and go straight into plan B. See, I had already made reservations at a local fondue place for dessert and had already arranged for my niece to come hang out while the kids slept. Only, we could actually go and have a complete dinner that neither one of us had to cook and one that I didn't have to rush through getting ready for. After a few moments of discussion, the decision was made and the lobster tail was packed back up and put in the refrigerator for another night. I continue getting ready, he bathes Bennett and puts him to bed while Morgan is showering upstairs and I'm getting ready. Lance comes upstairs to shave and announces that my blog entry was long. I asked him if he liked it and he said he did. Then we were distracted by a certain 5 year old who was stalling bedtime in the hopes that she'd catch a glimpse of her cousin.
After getting to the restaurant, we pick the conversation back up and he told me that he COULDN'T BELIEVE I told everyone about the radar detector. To which I stated the obvious. I've already told everyone. Duh! I ask him if his recollection of the events were the same as mine. He tells me that they are, for the most part, but that I was REALLY emphatic about my resistance to him. I told him that it was a historical truth. He also tried to debate me on the fact that he was eating a hamburger off a paper plate when I woke up that day, but some things are just etched in your memory forever and that is one that will forever be etched in mine. I know, it's so romantic and all, it would be hard for me to forget, right?
So the conversation leads to me asking him about how often he reads my blog. Whenever I send him a link. *blink**blink*. I decided then and there (and I told him so, too) that I'm going to start fabricating things about him, or worse, TELL THE FULL TRUTH, to make sure he's paying attention. I think it's only fair that if I'm the one recording our family's history, he should at least review it. Don't you think?
In that vein, last night, he farted in his sleep twice in a row. REALLY LOUD.
We had a wonderful, four-course dinner last night without any "quit throwing food" and "EAT!" comments necessary. Okay, well maybe only once or twice.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Yin and Yang
My husband is often hit or miss with his gestures of love and appreciation. There was that time that he gave me a RADAR DETECTOR for Valentine's Day. Not only do I hate the annoying noises that they make and didn't really need one, but c'mon. A radar detector for a girl?? And I'm a girly girl, too. Obviously, not hitting the mark, he gave it another shot and after hearing me say repeatedly every night that winter how I wish I could warm up my side of the bed before I got into it, he got me an electric blanket for St. Patrick's Day. You read that right. And not able to find any appropriate wrapping paper, he actually got a St. Patty's Day tablecloth to utilize for the occasion. What am I going to remember about that whole thing? Not really the radar detector, but the fact that he made it up to me with the electric blanket. That, in a nutshell, is my husband.
This morning, I woke up to this on the kitchen counter, with a lovely card that expressed to me that the best thing about him was ME (did your knees go weak too?). You know what this is, people? This is an ORCHID. Which is clearly a very nice gesture from my husband. You know what his gesture says? It says, "I have faith in my wife". I'm well known across this country for my ability to kill any living plant. So, obviously, my husband has faith in me to give me an ORCHID of all things. :) I love it!
This morning, I woke up to this on the kitchen counter, with a lovely card that expressed to me that the best thing about him was ME (did your knees go weak too?). You know what this is, people? This is an ORCHID. Which is clearly a very nice gesture from my husband. You know what his gesture says? It says, "I have faith in my wife". I'm well known across this country for my ability to kill any living plant. So, obviously, my husband has faith in me to give me an ORCHID of all things. :) I love it!
I was going to school in Auburn, AL. I met one of my best friends there while we were working at the local mall. I worked at a toy store and she worked at a shoe store. We became fast friends and she introduced me to all things related to this new frontier - the world wide web! She met her soon-to-be boyfriend on mIRC (oh yeah, we're old school!) and she flew out to California and met him. Things seemed to go really well and before I knew it, she was graduating and moving across the country to be with him. She needed someone to drive in the U-Haul with her and who is crazy enough to do that? *looks around*. Yeah, I guess that would be me. We'd already taken lots of road trips together (one trip to Texas with "Just Married" painted in shoe polish on the back of my car -- with it still on my car, my parents were less than impressed with this when they came up for a surprise visit to Auburn and couldn't be certain that I had NOT actually gotten married). This was going to be just another road trip! Three or four days across the grand ole USA.
Now, the whole trip out to California was quite an adventure. We're talking broken down U-Haul's, no air conditioning, etc. But, throughout the trip, my friend kept telling me about her boyfriend's roommate, Lance. I had been "single" for the better part of two years, after a really bad experience with my ex-fiance. I had been with him for something like five years? Which in teenage/young adult years is practically a life time. I was not interested in settling back down anytime soon. I was rather enjoying playing the field and had lots of stories of the many guys in Auburn I dated. Oh the stories! Anyhow - I wasn't looking for a guy, certainly not one in California.
After a very loooooong trip to California, we landed at her boyfriend's apartment and crashed. And I do mean crashed. Gosh, that would be TWELVE YEARS AGO TODAY. I woke up on a strange couch, looked around and I saw this guy, sitting in a rocking chair, quietly eating a hamburger on a paper plate. This was my first vision of my husband. I know, romantic, right?? Hands off, ladies - he's all mine! Anyhow. I sit up and he says "You must be Paige". Thank goodness the stranger in this strange place that I was just sleeping at least knows my name. Yes, that's me. He introduces himself as Lance.
At first glance, I could not understand why my friend, the one who had SEEN the guys I was dating, had figured that I'd be interested in Lance. He was NOTHING like the guys I had been dating. The guys I dated were all very athletic (ahh, the tennis dates!), dark hair, and MUCH taller than me. I never dated someone who I could look them in the eyes if I just stood on the tips of my toes in the slightest. WHAT A RELIEF. No worries about having to deal with a long distance relationship or any of that mess.
Except, you know what? Looking back, he started working on me in a quiet way. I spent the rest of my week in California hanging out with this really cool guy. I love to tell the story about how we celebrated his birthday while I was there. They had this big party for him. And you know where he was? With me. Just talking. And talking. And talking. They actually had to come find us so that he could blow out the candles on his cake. But, soooo not my type. This is what I kept telling myself. Looking back, I can see that I was trying to convince myself. Because if he was my type, that would really make things complicated.
I went back to Alabama at the end of that week and I felt empty. I had fallen in love with the area in California, but I believe that it was more than just California that was calling me back. Speaking of calling, this man who now NEVER talks on the phone? We talked on the phone every day. For hours. Until one day, I made up my mind that I was moving to California. This was when my parents paid me the surprise visit because they didn't understand WHY on EARTH I would up and move 3000 miles away from all my friends and family. But, California really suits me. And, obviously, I had stuff to do out here. Like marry my soul mate.
So, I moved out to California and eventually, Lance and I got engaged and nine years ago today, three years after the day that I woke up on that couch and met him for the first time, with his hands all greasy from the hamburger, we got married in a small redwood grove in Saratoga, California.
You know why I married him? Because where I'm inpatient, he has patience. He loves me for exactly who I am, remarkably, even when that changes (sometimes on an hourly basis). He has never asked me to change who I am or do something different. He has unconditional acceptance of me, and for someone with my past, that means a lot to me. When I'm flying off the handle and overly upset, he's equally overly calm. When I'm ready to make a big step (buying a car, a house, having a baby, etc), he accepts my nudging, all the while, keeping me grounded. We've always talked about how we fit together. We go together because we are so different in so many ways, but also have so much in common. He's the yin to my yang.
Nine years ago, I married my best friend in a small wedding, surrounded by family and friends. It is one of my favorite memories from my life. It's cataloged there between memories like meeting him for the first time, buying our house, and bringing home our daughter and our son. There are also some harder memories in there. Ones that have really tested the foundation of our relationship. That's what happens in marriages. I'm glad to be married to my best friend, who is able to stick things out and work hard at this thing we now call our life and our family. This is what life is supposed to be. I'm so lucky and so blessed to have these memories. All of them. Here's to many more!
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