Top Ten Lessons from my Father

I can't let this day go by without recognizing all the many lessons I learned from my Daddy. These are lessons learned both as a child and as an adult. I admire my father for so many things, but these are the things that really have helped shape who I am.

10. Don't Be Afraid to Laugh at Yourself 
Anyone who knows my Dad knows that his personality is larger than life. He is constantly calling himself a redneck or a nerd. And he let us joke around with him at times about how embarrassing he could be to us, especially as teenagers. There's just something so reassuring and confident about someone who doesn't mind laughing at themselves.

9. Don't Let Them (Him) Know He Hurt You
 There was a time when I had my heart broken by a boyfriend during my years of teen angst. I will never forget my Dad catching me sobbing on the phone with him, trying hard to understand why he was breaking up with me and my Dad making me hang up the phone. When I got off the phone, my Dad looked at my tear streaked face and told me not to sit there sobbing on the phone with a boy. He's not worth it. Thanks Dad for teaching me self value.

8. Loyalty
When your father works for the same company he started at after graduating from college, works his way up to the top and retires from that company, it teaches you a thing or two about loyalty. But it wasn't just wrapped up in work, my father brought that same type of loyalty to family and friends. He is dependable, reliable and loyal and he set such a great example for my brother and I growing up.


7. You Can Do Anything You Put Your Mind To
Similar to my mother, my father also told me regularly that I could do anything I set my mind to. But more than that, he demanded excellence from me and modeled for me what it was like to put your mind to something and accomplish it. I've seen him do it in so many different ways and his expectations of me taught me how to do it myself.

6. Work Hard, Play Hard
Many of the lessons I learned from my Dad were in huge part by observation. This is another one of those lessons. Not only did my Dad expect me to pitch in and do my part at home, but he showed me what it was like to work hard. In an era when so many of my friends were literally getting whatever they wanted handed to them on a silver platter, I had to work hard to just be part of my family and it taught me the work ethic that has suited me so well as an adult. But in addition to working hard, I also observed that my father also played hard. Whether it was weekend camping trips or days out fishing, my Dad showed me what it was like to reward hard work with good times. 


5. You Can Count Your True Friends On One Hand
As a child, certain things stick with you well into adulthood. One of those things for me is something my father used to say to me when I was a young lady. As I would go through the pre-teen and teenage drama often associated with girl friends, my father would often remind me that it's very rare to have true friends and those friends are often more like family. I remember arguing with him that this friend of that friend was a true friend and I remember him being equally as stubborn that years from now, that person would be a distant memory while others would remain friends. I now know what he was talking about and hope that my kids learn this lesson early on as well.

4. Dance Like Nobody is Watching (also known as Who Gives a Damn What They Say)
My Dad is himself NO MATTER WHAT. He doesn't have a problem speaking his mind or being exactly who he is no matter what. I am a lot like my Dad in this way and while I may embarrass my children in the future (in some of the same ways my Dad embarrassed me, if I'm lucky), I hope they learn to be themselves no matter what just like I did.

3. Gratitude
My Dad will tell you quite readily about his humble beginnings. You know, walking to school uphill, both ways, in bare feet with nothing to play with but rocks, sticks and medicine bottles. But regardless of what he tells you, you will see that he has a gracious spirit for the ways in which he and us as his family has been blessed. He taught us to appreciate the things we have and to not take them for granted. I think this particular attribute is one that my generation can be lacking in and I am proud to have learned this from my father.

2. Generosity
Hand in hand with gratitude is a spirit of generosity. Now, my Dad wasn't particularly generous with us as kids when it came to allowance or brand name clothes, but he taught us to give not only money or material goods to those less fortunate than us, but more importantly, he taught us to give our time and our hearts. For as long as I can remember, my Dad has been involved (usually in some leadership role) with a charity of some sort and he takes it completely to heart. What a role model!


1. Family is Everything
I would say the single biggest lesson I have learned from my father is that family is everything. When times are tough, your family is there. When you celebrate, family is there. Even when you fight, your family is still there. It is something that I believe I have marinated in all throughout my childhood and therefore have (hopefully) brought this same spirit to my own family. Because, really, my family IS everything.

Perhaps you have gathered this by now, but I am a lot like my father. When I was younger this would irritate me at times. Heck, even now we may bump heads because we are so similar. But I am honored to be like my father.

My mom and dad kick butt

First off, what other 61 year old woman do you know has the guts to join her daughter in a cardio kickboxing class? I know! She was a little hesitant, I have to admit, and so last night she insisted that I show her the moves. Even that didn't scare her off! She totally hung in for the whole class. Great job, mom!

Also? Guess who had a nice nap this afternoon? Moi. Know why? Because my mom and dad kick butt. Yep, they took care of the kids and I slept like a baby! :) And then, as if that wasn't enough, yesterday when we were at Costco, my Dad got these steaks the size of my head. Well, he grilled them tonight and they were delicious.

I could really get used to this life! I'm so lucky to have such great parents! Now if I could only convince them that the west coast is the best coast. :)

Waiting

I've never been a patient person. If I have to wait in a line that has more than two people in front of me, I'm mentally going through exit scenarios or alternative plans. Or better yet, if I'm waiting at a stop light and it turns green, the person in front of me just needs to GO. I mean, really, what are you waiting for?? So, you take someone like me, you add two offspring who are equally as patient and you mix in a little bit of missing Grandma and Grandpa and what you come up with is a group of people practically climbing the walls waiting for Grandma and Grandpa's arrival! Luckily Morgan had school to keep her busy, but there's no such thing for Bennett and I, so I opted for the cardio & core class at the tennis club to help keep me busy (and oh boy did it!). Their plane was to arrive at roughly 11ish, so by the time they got their bags and rental car and drove out here from SFO, we're looking at around 1, right? Enough time for me to get the kids home from picking up Morgan, to feed them lunch and then be ready when Grandma and Grandpa arrived. Except at 1pm? Grandma called to let me know they were just on their way in the rental car. It's bad enough when you're anticipating something and things get delayed as an adult. But kids get even more upset. I opted to go ahead and put Bennett down for his nap while Morgan and I waited for the grand arrival. We read books and tried to keep each other preoccupied, but every time we thought we heard a door, we went running to the front room to look through the window to see if it was them. FINALLY it was!

It's hard to live this far away from your family. It's hard to not see them on a day to day basis. But, imagine if I lived down the street. Would they ever get the grand reception that awaits them each and every time we see them? There's some up side to this waiting business.

Happy 40th Anniversary!

Today is my parents' 40th wedding anniversary. Seriously, that's like four DECADES. And if you knew them, you might be surprised that they've made it this long. Except the thing is, they are committed. They love each other and they work through things like a difference in opinion of the actual temperature that should be considered "room temperature" or where golf balls should be placed when not in use. When I spoke to them on the phone earlier today, we each repeated the same thing - it's a rare thing these days. I really think this is so true.

So many couples are so eager to go their separate ways. I'm noticing this the older I get (I guess the older I get, the more married couples I know, the longer they've been married and the more divorces we see). It's as if marriage is to be this magical thing that never has any road bumps or problems. Heck, Lance and I have been married for nine years, ten this year, and we've certainly had our share even in the short time frame we've been together. Yes, there were times when I thought about how hard it is, and it really can be. Other times? It's so easy. But, I guess when you have the role models I had growing up, you know how important family is and you know that marriage is actually a verb. It means you have to do things. You have to work at it if you want it to be good. And just like anything in life, the more you put into it, the more you get out of it.

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad! Thanks for getting married and for setting the bar! ;-)