Diary of a horrible mom

Apparently, I'm not your typical mom. I don't allow my kids to play or sing at meals, I make them sit while eating, I require that they use manners and I encourage them to play together and to work it out when they get all "he did this" or "ugghhh! (Bennett's terms for she did that). We use time outs when needed, I take away toys when they aren't appreciated and I sometimes have to let them scream and cry when I'm cooking dinner. I also have no problem with allowing other people to watch my children. Now, these are not your run-of-the-mill street strangers, but I don't really know the people in the nursery at the church or the tennis club. No, but I let them watch my children all the same.

I realized today, that I'm one of maybe a handful of Kindergarten parents who are actually taking advantage of the valet lane. This means that I pull up in front of the playground where the kids line up to go into their classrooms, and Morgan unbuckles her seat belt, grabs her backpack, gives me and Bennett a kiss, and then gets out of the car. Sometimes she's assisted by the valet helpers (back in the day, we called this the safety patrol, but whatever!) and other times she had to do it on her own. Every time, I watch her walk inside the fenced in playground to her line before I drive off. I don't feel like I'm putting her in danger, but with all the parents I see schlepping kids to and from cars, it makes me kind of feel like maybe I'm a horrible mother? I don't do valet on Mondays because I know that this is the day that her teacher works in her classroom up until right when it's time to come get the kids, so I walk Morgan up to the line and we wait for her teacher with the other kids and parents. But on the other days? I just can't help but wonder why I would subject myself or Bennett to getting in and out of the car unnecessarily. If it was just me, that would be a different situation. I would enjoy walking her up to the line and chit chatting with the other parents and teachers. But, with Bennett, it's more like me struggling to keep him in my arms because the minute I let him down, he's off and running. However, all these parents lugging their babies and toddlers along to walk their child up to their line has me a bit concerned.

On the other hand, I feel like I have fairly well adjusted kids. I don't normally have issues with them only wanting me, but I also know that when they do want me, I'm there for them. Like on Monday when Bennett was particularly clingy. This was out of the ordinary and I took full advantage of the extra snuggles and hugs. But, on a day to day basis, my kids are fairly independent and happy. That makes me happy to! Maybe I'm not so horrible after all? Or maybe this is just something I tell myself so I don't feel like a horrible mom? Only time will tell!

Us mothers, the power we wield.