Operation "Mickey Surprise" a success!

About a month ago, my friend Melissa celebrated her 40th birthday. After asking over and over again what she wanted to do for her birthday, she finally came up with her wish. Girls trip to Disneyland - awesome, right? Yes, except that we haven't been to Disneyland with the kids since Landon was born. I would have felt way to guilty to go without them, that's when the plan started to take shape. You see, Landon is too young to take, but Lance offered to stay home with him. Melissa has season passes and had a trip planned this week. So, we decided to surprise her two oldest and Morgan and Bennett with this surprise trip together.

On Christmas day, I sent an email that said:

"Dear Morgan and Bennett,

There is one last gift to be given to you,
You will never be able to guess from who
It's a special treat that you can look forward to, my dear
In the very near future, it will all become clear!

No peaking, no sneaking,
No bugging or screeching,
It will all be revealed in a few short days,
But you must be patient, and wait until we can play!

Love,
Momma and Daddy"

And the plan was set into motion! This morning, Collin brought Morgan and Bennett a letter that contained a clue for them to find a basket that told them they were going to Disneyland. They were so excited and then got even more excited when they realized we were driving down and doing a road trip together. Looking forward to another week of great memories!! Watch out Disneyland...here we come!!

Another favorite summertime treat

In addition to the return of the summer farmers market, another thing I've been looking forward to all winter was the opening of the farms for U-pick fruit in the nearby city of Brentwood. Last summer we went and picked cherries and pluots and blackberries. We had so much fun and I have really been looking forward to doing it this year, since Bennett is big enough to do more than watch from the stroller. We made it a big family trip, waiting to do it on Memorial Day when the dads would be home. We went with my friend Melissa W and her family and we all had a great time. The fruit wasn't as ripe as we had hoped it would be, but we came home with plenty! Lance even had enough for a pie!

After picking fruit, we had hoped to go to a place called Scoops, where you can play and eat, but it was closed. So, we made the best of it and headed over to Chili's for lunch. The guys hung out at one end of the table chatting and watching Bennett while Melissa and I hung out at the other end talking and taking care of Morgan, Collin and Brandon. It was a nice way to end the outing. Here are some pictures from our fun day!

Soft baby skin and sweet baby sounds

The newest member of the Sand Crabs playgroup has super soft skin and makes the sweetest baby sounds. I got to meet him today and got my fill of that smell and the way it feels to hold a newborn. Ahhhh. So sweet!

I'm still in the process of dealing with Bennett being our last baby, so I was more than happy to handle a diaper change and feeding this new little guy while I was there. It was great to see Melissa, who looks WONDERFUL. It was great to share the experience of having a newborn son with another friend. Talking about second sibling stuff and basically, just having one more thing in common. I didn't cry much, just one time when we were talking about how very much Melissa wanted to have this little guy. And here he is. It's just amazing. Babies are truly miracles and blessings. Each and every one of them.

A great day!

Today, my friend Melissa A had a brand new baby boy. She was scheduled for a C section and so we knew approximately when he'd be making his debut. We were all glued to Facebook, waiting for the first word of his arrival, all eagerly anticipating the details. The big question was what his name would be since it kept secret until he was here. Other than that, who would he look like and how big would he be? Her husband, Marshall, kept us updated from his blackberry up until the time they went in for surgery. Those had to have been the longest minutes of the day! Finally, Drake Marshall arrived. He looks so much like her, with his little chin, mouth and nose. It's no mistaking who he belongs to!

Pretty soon the excitement died down a bit and I started to think about my friend and her new family member in the hospital. I got all teary-eyed remember back to the times I had spent getting to know my newborn child. With Morgan, there was so much emotion over her being a girl and the date and time that she was born. There was an instant connection. With Bennett, not knowing what to do with a boy, and also being concerned over my other child who was not with me, the connection didn't come quite as instantaneously. But by the time we had made it through the first night, my boy and I were connected very strongly. The memories I have of Lance and I getting to know each of our children for the first time will be forever sketched in my memory and I will always look back on them fondly.

Now my friends are doing the same. I'm so excited for them! Can't wait to meet Drake!

Old fashioned fun!

Remember the pictures of us as kids? All of us shoved into a baby pool in the back of someone's yard. We'd be diapered (maybe), or wearing goofy grins as we showed off our bathing suits. Inevitably, you'd also see the picture of the parents, lounging about in their lawn chairs (remember the metal ones with the criss-crossed plastic fabric??), maybe with a beer in hand, or at the very least, just kicked back and enjoying life. It seems like those were easier times. Times where you just hung out with friends while the kids played. Now, it's possible that I'm remembering them fondly just because I wasn't the parent "on duty" back then. But today, I got a chance to experience that same kind of good old fashioned fun.




Today we went to a birthday party for Bennett's playgroup pal, Taylor. There wasn't a ton of fuss and overscheduled activities. It was a kickback, relaxed good time! She had a couple of baby pools in the back yard, a slide for the kids to play on and some finger painting set up. Not to mention a spread of food set out, so you could eat at your leisure. She had plenty of lawn chairs (NOT the metal kind, but he nice kind we can appreciate now!) and so I was able to chill out and socialize with the other adults at the party while Bennett hung out in the baby pool. He had a good time, so did I!

Of course, in true Bennett fashion, he really spent the majority of the party eating. Because that's one of his signature moves. He really enjoyed the watermelon!


Thanks for the good time Cindy. I loved the relaxing old fashioned fun! It was perfect, right down to the homemade Mickey Mouse birthday cake! Happy second birthday to the beautiful and sweet Taylor!

Trains

I'm not sure what the fascination with trains is all about. Not sure if it's a boy thing or just a this kid versus that kid thing. Morgan was never as into them as Bennett is. I mean, this boy if he even THINKS about a train, he starts choo-choo'ing and runs to get his Thomas toys out. So, imagine my delight when my MOPS group announced a kids outing to ride a REAL. LIVE. TRAIN. Oh, my goodness. The glee could hardly be contained, because this was a big first for Bennett and I just couldn't wait to see him experience it.

This morning, when I reminded him that we were going on the train ride today, he ran to get his Thomas toys and started playing with them immediately. He wanted to bring them with him, so we packed them away in his backpack to share with his friends. Rosie for Clare, Arthur for Kylee and some other train for Bennett (can't remember his name, again - not sure about the big deal about trains, so cut me some slack!). We packed up snacks and headed to Sunol to ride the Niles Canyon Railway.

Now, being the boy that he is, if asked, he will tell you that his favorite part was eating yogurt on the train. Because isn't that the holy grail??

Nevertheless - a great time was had by all and here are some pictures to prove it! :)

A lesson from a little silver box

Today was our last MOPS meeting of the semester. I've come to really look forward to this twice-a-month gathering with other moms, where for two precious hours, we get to be adults. We have a hot breakfast together, without children clamoring for our attention. We get to converse without being interrupted. We get to hear wonderful speakers on everything from nutrition to ways to improve our marriage and family life. Sometimes we even get to make a cute craft like a necklace with a picture of our children, or chocolate dipped pretzels! Regardless, it's nice to have those couple of hours there, smack dab in the middle of the week to relax and enjoy being with other moms.

Today, we not only had a speaker who talked about how important it is to take trips with our family, trips with our husband and trips with our girl friends (who doesn't want to hear that?), but we ended with a little silver box. We each had one with our name on it and there were little slips of paper at each table for us to use to write 2-3 things about each person and then put it in their box. There was a sheet with some examples on it in case you got stuck, but I found that it wasn't hard at all to write 2-3 nice things about each one of the my MOPS mom friends. Once we were done, we tied the ribbons up and went off to pick up our children from their program.

So, I had no idea what was in my box until I got home from picking Morgan up from school. She immediately noticed the little shiny box and was very curious about what was in it. I explained to her what we had done at MOPS. I told her that I didn't know yet what my friends had written about me. The look on her face said more than any words could. She looked at me expectantly. Hopefully. I could tell that she wanted me to open the box.

So, I sat on the step with a kid at each of my sides and untied the ribbon. I pulled out the papers, one by one.

Beautiful
Loving
Fun
Loving

"Mom, that's TWO Lovings!!"

Organized
Thoughtful
Loving

"ANOTHER Loving!"

Godly example
Captivating
Caring
Wonderful
Funny
Godly example

"Someone else said that too!"

Encouraging
Relate-able
Sweet

As I pulled the last one out of the box, I looked at Morgan and she had the biggest grin on her face. And that's when it hit me. She was proud of me. She was seeing what other people said about me and it made her proud. What a heartwarming moment. And also a lesson for me, in that our children are equally as proud of us as we are of them. What more reason do we need than that to try to be our best person? She hugged me and said, "Three people said you were loving!!". I asked her if she agreed with what my friends thought of me and she nodded her head quickly and said, "yes, I do," then gave me another hug.

Then Morgan suggested that we make boxes for everyone in our family. So we can do the same. And you know what, I think we will!

Remembering my former self

I agreed to meet two of my former coworkers for lunch this afternoon. Not too long ago, it wasn't all that uncommon for us to get together for all you can eat Indian or that awesome little Thai place in Mountain View. But nowadays, going out for a real meal for lunch is practically unheard of and I rarely go with anyone outside of my mommy/children/parenting circle. Even if I have known them before children, they now have children to, so our frame of reference has changed as well. But these people that I had lunch with today, there is no other context for them other than my previous job. One of them is the proud father of two older kids and the other is a self proclaimed non-baby-lover step mother of adult children. So, it's not as if they don't have kids at all. But, they aren't in the throws of toddlerhood or Kindergarten. They aren't eating and sleeping and breathing the same things I am these days.

Before, in my former life, we'd talk about things like budgets, off site meetings, schedules and the random office gossip. We'd laugh over the idiotic thing that happened in that meeting earlier or we'd vent to each other about the inefficiencies of being purchased by a large machine-type corporation. Now, we all work in different spots. Each of them having gone on to a different job after I left work to stay at home. I'm further out of the office political loop than I ever have been and we were forced to connect in different ways. At first, I was a little hesitant about the lunch, not knowing what we would talk about, but it was really good to catch up with former coworkers and to also see new sides of them. We reinvented ourselves and in turn, reinvented our relationships with each other.

During the meeting, one of my former coworkers (who now works for Apple), kept checking his iPhone. It was like he had one foot out the door the whole time. And I sooo remember being like that. There was always something going on. An email that had to be answered. A time-sensitive decision to be made or a signature to get. A meeting to not be late for. And now? My time is mostly my own. It's only as crazy as I make it, so there's no one else to blame. But you know what, I'm completely present. At lunch today, I was completely present both mentally and emotionally. It made me realize how much happier my kids must be now that they don't have to share me with a meeting, or a budget, or a schedule, or a decision. They have me. All of me. All the time. And I don't have to worry about how poorly I'm doing in one area or the other due to having to split my time. If I'm doing poorly, it's just in the one area. :) That's a lot less guilt to carry.

Me and my kids, we're both very lucky.

Bennett's first tire swing

Remember these? These were always my favorite swings at the playground. I remember in the third grade, playing on this swing with my two best friends. It was awesome because there were three of us and three spots to sit. We'd take turns spinning it around and then we'd jump on with the other two. We'd spin so fast (you know, you go faster if you lean in) that we'd almost hurl. Just when it was too fast, we'd slow down and laugh until we cried. Whenever I spot a tire swing, I think of those two friends. Wonder if it will be the same for Bennett?

Isn't childhood grand?

Spring tease

When we planned the May Supper Club (our title for the monthly dinner get together we have with the Alexanders) back in April, I know we both had high hopes that the weather would be nice enough that we could start eating outdoors and watch the kids romp around in the backyard. And maybe, if by some crazy miracle, May 2nd would have come a couple of weeks ago, we could have. But, unfortunately it's been rainy. And a little chilly. And all together un-summer like. It's not fair! One minute we have gorgeous weather and the next it's rainy. And it's not like we get to pick what day we are going to get what.

I know I must sounds like a brat. Or at the very least, a weather snob. And the truth is, I have become just that. I guess that's what living in California will do for you. The weather is somewhat predictable, especially over the past couple of years, and we have so much sunny weather, that a few rainy days really get us down. I grew up in Florida and went to school in Alabama. I know humidity. Out here in glorious California, there's usually NO SUCH THING. I adore it! Except for right now. All kinds of humidity. Also? In the summers in California? It doesn't rain. You read that right. Like never. Okay, maybe not never, but really hardly ever. So you can plan things to be outside and count on the fact that it's not going to rain. Like, when I got married outside in July of 1999. My mom wanted to know what my backup plan was. I tried my best to explain to her that I wouldn't need a backup plan, because it soooo wasn't going to rain on July 10th! Of course, that held true, but what I didn't factor in was that out of the blue, it was like in the high 90's. In the south bay, which means that if I had lived in Livermore at the time, it would have broken the 100's easily. That's the other thing. If it's in the 100's in Livermore, you can easily drive 45 minutes and be in the city or on the coast, where it will be at least 30 to 40 degrees cooler. Yep, we live quite the charmed life out here. Guess that's what the property taxes are all about, huh?

Well, we had a great time with the Alexanders, despite the rain. We had spaghetti and the kids all played really nicely together so the adults actually had time to converse. Love me some Supper Club! :)

80's sleepovers are fun!

My friend Cindy hosted a party tonight where we all came in our pajamas, brought pillows and ate junk food while we watched the movie Grease. Grease has always been one of my favorite movies, so I was very excited about this fun time, hanging out with the girls.

I decided to really get into it and channeled 1985. I teased my hair and put a scrunchy in it. I pasted on some blue eyeshadow. I found my retainers and shoved them in my mouth. I even stopped and bought some Bartles & James and then I headed over to Cindy's. It was loads of fun! I even won a Grease trivia game and won a HUGE chocolate bar and a People magazine.

Looking forward to the next one - Grease 2 party! :)

Calling all moms

Tonight we had a moms night out. We are having the playgroups sponsor the night outs, so you at least know there are going to be some people there and so that those people will be hanging out with people they already know, even if no one else shows up. Which is a good thing. Since NOBODY SHOWS UP! I just don't get it. Apparently I'll never get it. I'm a social person - love going out and doing things with my family and friends. I would think that at least 10% of a group of women would be something like me. Or at least have a desire to get out of the house at night for some time with other moms, not having to worry about who your child is pushing or what they have their tongue on.

So tonight, my playgroup was sponsoring the moms night out. We planned a night out at the bowling alley and looked for a date that would work for everyone in our playgroup. We planned it and a grand total of FOUR people, including me showed up. Now, I do realize that things come up and people can't always follow through with their intentions, and I'm not mad or upset about it. I'm just more baffled. I mean, if you were to talk to the women in the moms club, they would tell you how much they need a girls night out. I'm confident that it would be at least 75% of the women that would say that yes, they need a girls night out. But when it comes down to it, they don't come.

Now, we still had a great time. In fact, we were so busy talking that we had a hard time remembering who's turn it was to bowl. Heck, Melissa, who is super pregnant, wasn't even bowling and still came just to hang out. In fact, due to her influences, we ended up at Chili's splitting some chips and queso and molten lava cake. We closed the place down chatting about everything from our kids, to our in laws and relatives to facebook.

I've been trying to figure it out for the past four or five years that I've been on the board for the moms club. We've tried various things to make it easier (later evening coffee and conversation, a movie where you don't have to have awkward conversations, free hiking, dinners and brand new restaurants, etc) and the turn out is always consistently low. We've checked with surrounding mothers clubs, those that have five times as many members and percentage wise, they are having about the same kind of turn out as we are.

I just don't get it. Don't these moms need to get out? I mean, it could be that they are able to get out regularly with their husbands, but even still - don't they want to hang out with their mom friends? I know I love bouncing stuff off of my mom friends. And that story about how Bennett got a hold of the lighter is way much more fun to tell over a margarita or two.

If you are a mom, please let me know -- do you get out regularly? Do you get out with other moms? If so, why do you do it. If not, why? What would make it easier or better to get out? Inquiring minds want to know!

Morning with my Melissas

I've spoken about my two friends, both of whom are named Melissa. One Melissa (MW) I've known for about three years, having really gotten to know her through the moms club when I was pregnant with Bennett. She was on the board for the club at the same time I was and I remember meeting her for the first time at a movie night. The other Melissa (MA) I've known for almost two years, having met her at a new members social, where I shamelessly stole her from another playgroup to include her into Bennett's playgroup. I love them both, so what better way to spend a spring morning, than with the two of them?

I met the first Melissa at the sports park to get some exercise with our little guys in tow. Brandon is about six months younger than Bennett, but they've known each other practically since birth since Melissa and I have done mixed age playgroups and traveling playgroups together with our older children since the little guys were wee ones. Melissa took her oldest, Collin, to Disneyland and also took a getaway trip with her husband over spring break. That meant that she was away from Brandon most of the week and when she told me that she wanted to get some exercise but didn't want to leave him at the gym in the morning, it seemed like the perfect way to catch up with her while we were also able to spend some time with our little guys. I drove to the Sports Park in Pleasanton and we made a couple laps around before it was time for me to go. It was nice to have a change in scenery and to have time to catch up with a great friend!

From the Sports Park, I scooted on over to my other Melissa's house for some adult chatting while we watched Bennett and Clare play in the water. Melissa and I, kicking back on the patio, sipping water and watching them play. I love that I am able to do this. What a charmed life I lead, huh? Here are some cute as ever pictures of Bennett and Clare having fun in the water!

Star power baby shower

Today was my friend Melissa's baby shower. I think everyone had a good time, and it was only mildly embarrassing to her to have so much fuss and ado to be made. Things went off without a hitch, so that's nice! Her mom and her aunts were all so wonderful with their help and all the yummy food. There are far too many pictures from the shower, but here are a few just to give a general sense of it. It was Hollywood themed. Here was the first draft of the invitation...

The setup out front with the limo parking (her brother picked her up and drove her to her mom's house), red carpet and adoring fans/paparazzi, and her arrival. The best moment of her arrival was when one of the paparazzi (Cindy) shouted out, "Melissa, how does it feel to be carrying Marshall's baby??!!" Everyone got a good giggle out of that one. :)


Inside, we had the fine china out and the tables decorated with confetti and favors. I had a hard time tying the bows onto the frames we gave out as favors, so I tied them like a necktie instead!


We had two tables set up outside where everyone could have fun while drinking some champagne (or sparkling cider!) and having hors d'oeuvres. One area was with precut scrapbooking supplies, and every guest had their picture made with Melissa and they decorated a page to put their picture on. Fun! The other station was our "Project Runway" where there were tons of fabric pens, paint, buttons, fabric, etc. that could be used to decorate onesies (mine is the one with the vest!). We also had a spot for "Pin the baby on Angelina", but we never got around to giving her babies. :)

















Inside, there was food and cake, more decorations, and even a celebrity baby name matching game.








Overall I think everyone had a good time, and I sure did have fun planning it! Melissa got some super cute boys clothes and her Joovy Caboose stroller she'd settled on. I wanted to make sure her shower was memorable, and I think I accomplished that. :)

Refreshing blush

I could sit here and blog about all the greatness that is blush, but really, how superficial would that be? I will say about the yogurt that it is delicious, beyond measure, but really what I'm talking about here is meeting my girl, Melissa, at blush. After church, after lunch, after napping kids were put to bed. I got away by myself and I headed to blush to meet Melissa to catch up and to enjoy some yogurt together.

This is the same Melissa that I bonded with last weekend over old ladies and new experiences. Every time I see her, we have so much to say. There's never a dull moment or a lull in conversation. I'm not afraid to say anything to her and she's equally opened to me. She gives me a fresh perspective on my issues and fills me in on what's going on with her. Today, she was like a breath of fresh air for me. I've been going through some tough stuff with a friend of mine and she really helped me to come out of my funk. I need this because this week is going to be crazy. My parents are coming in town, we have Bennett's birthday, followed by Spring parties and Easter Sunday and spring break. The crazies continue. So, you can see how it was not only nice to get away. But even nicer to go somewhere like blush with a friend like Melissa and get recharged. I hope it was as refreshing for her as it was for me. Now we just need to plan to do this more often. :)

Fun times continue

This time last year, we were partaking in our annual tradition with our family friends where we decorate cookies and dye Easter eggs. That's the same friend whom I had the falling out with and so this year, we weren't going to be going to their house to do this. It wasn't long before Morgan wanted to know if we were going to be going to their house to dye eggs, so I had to tell her (yet again) that we weren't really friendly with them anymore and we hadn't been invited there, but I thought maybe we could continue the tradition at our house and invite some different friends. She got so excited, my little party girl, and was clamoring for a list of things we needed to do to get ready! Well, we're ready and today was the day! Yesterday, the eggs were hard boiled and this morning we baked the cookies. The goodie bags are stuffed, the table cloths laid down and then we were ready for our friends to arrive! Everyone brought a dish to share and so there was lots of yummy food. All the kids had a lot of fun, some of them just now coming into the age where they can get into things like this. Morgan and her friend Chenoa, enjoying some big girl time together. Chenoa even commented about how this was the best party she'd ever been to! I teased Lara that she's sheltering her daughter way too much! Though it can be chaotic with so many kids in one house, it was well worth it!! Here are some pictures from our fun evening!

Doing my part

Today was set aside for me to get to the mall for some much needed retail therapy. I've been needing to get over there for one thing or another, but life hasn't allowed the trip until today. I packed Bennett up (as well as two tons of snacks) and headed over to Kohl's first. I've been on the lookout for some decently priced picture frames for the shower I'm throwing for my friend Melissa. Also, I know they usually have a good selection of shoes, and Bennett is in desperate need (lest I shove his fat foot into his too-small vans anymore). After the Kohl's, we had just enough time to hit the mall before it was time to go get Morgan. I needed soaps and a few door prize things from Bath and Body Works as well as getting the kids' Easter outfits, which I'd already picked out online. While I was there, I decided to see what they had for Melissa's baby boy, due in late May. Oh, boy did I ever have fun shopping for him! I got some cute stuff and some great deals and can't wait to give them to her!

I was done shopping just in time to get Morgan, so I picked her up and then we headed to Costco, where the kids were thrilled to be getting hot dogs for lunch and then we did some more shopping there.

Later, I was online with my friend Melissa, shopping for some really cool strollers. I don't think anyone can accuse me of not doing my part to stimulate this economy! :)

Defining Moments

You know how you might be in the moment still and you think to yourself, I will never forget this. Yep, that happened to me over and over this morning. It all started with breakfast. You see, this morning we were paired up with our small group tables again for breakfast and during this breakfast, I had the opportunity to be that spiritual person. You know the one...they are the one, who when someone else expresses their own sadness or dilemma, they are the ones who say something truly godly and everyone nods their heads and breathes deeply. Except, normally I'm the head nodder. Certainly not the one speaking. Because honestly? 34 years of living in Christianity if it has taught me anything, it's taught me that people who say things like that are sometimes looked at through judgmental eyes. You know, with thoughts like, "Oh sure Miss Goody Two Shoes" or "Well doesn't she think she's better than everyone else". Except that I don't think I'm better than anyone else. In fact, I think I'm pretty much as lousy a Christian as you can come by. I'd be lucky to tell you a story or two from the Bible. Even my husband has read it from front to back and I can count on one hand all the times he's been to church since I've known him. But, this doesn't stop me. No, when the woman at our table admitted to having a hard time accepting God's grace because she had done so many horrible things earlier in her life, I remembered a sermon that our church's pastor gave sometime over the past year and the words from his message just blurted out of my mouth before I could even stop them, "If has seen it fit to forgive you, what makes you think you shouldn't forgive yourself?" And then there was the nodding and the deep breathing, but it wasn't me. It was everyone else at the table. The woman looked at me, smiled with tears in her eyes and said, "thank you".

Later, while in our final service on Sunday morning, we took communion and after taking communion, many of the women were doing just as they had done the night before. They were going down to the front of the room and hugging and praying. The speaker was down in front with a steady stream of people coming her way. I kept looking, through teary eyes as I longed for this type of interaction. It was such a distant thing, though. Nothing like I was used to. I'm used to taking my walk alone. Melissa and I continued to exchange glances and then she said to me, "Paige go down there!". I looked at her and immediately blurted out, "NO!". I looked down there and noticed that the speaker was standing there, hands clasped. Waiting. Melissa looked at me again (and would later tell me that she just got the urge to MAKE ME GO) and told me that I needed to go and that she was waiting for me. I practically ran down the aisle and to the speaker. I looked at her, not knowing what to say and just asked her to pray for me. She told me to give her one word. "Alone" I said and then she started hugging me and praying for me. She prayed that I would know that I was not alone because God is with me always. I felt a rush of warmth and love come over me. She prayed that a spiritual partner would come into my life because she knows we all need someone like that. She prayed that today would be the turning point. She prayed again that I would know that I was not alone. When she was done, we finished hugging and I went back to where I was sitting.

No sooner had I gotten there, when they started playing this song that I knew from the night before was emotional for Melissa. She took off, saying she'd be right back. I was stuck there. Alone. Then the most amazing thing happened. A woman sitting at the end of the pew came over to me and gave me the deepest, biggest hug ever. Then she went away. A woman sitting in the pew in front of me came behind me and hugged me again. She returned to her seat, only to return a few moments later, asking if she can pray for me. I told her she could, we hugged and she prayed that I would be free. Free.

Pretty soon, the service was over and I had to find Melissa. Seems she had had a few defining moments of her own. More bonding. More moments. As we left the retreat at Mount Hermon, we travelled home to our families, whom we were sorely missing, but reflecting the entire way. Basking in the sun of a gorgeous Sunday, driving down the mountain in the convertible, we were reflecting on what brought us together. Our first meeting. Our first impressions. How the idea of the retreat came up and how we made it there.

There is a reason that Melissa and I were brought together for the weekend. A reason we bonded and shared some defining moments. God is good. God is very good.

Spiritual Bonding

Today was the first full day of the women's retreat. After road-trippin' it up with the top down on the convertible yesterday afternoon, Melissa and I got settled into our room. We had dinner followed by a session with the speaker about balancing your life and resting in God. The discussion was around slowing down, looking up, and trusting in God more. When the it was over, Melissa and I went back to our room and did the girl talk thing until nearly midnight. Or whenever the older ladies next door decided to go to sleep. We got up this morning before the crack of dawn when the older ladies next door started chatting and giggling. Neither of us slept well, but Melissa slept particularly badly. We got on with our day by showering and getting ready for breakfast. After breakfast, we had our the morning message by the speaker, followed by 45 minutes of quiet time before lunch to reflect on what we had heard and the things that we thought applied to us. We were instructed not to say a word and to find a quiet spot to write down our thoughts. The morning's message was about intimacy with God and it was a topic that is new to me since my religious background has been more at an arms length, and not very intimate or personal. Needless to say, the message spoke to me.

I wandered back towards our lodge and found a partly shaded spot in the playground area. How appropriate considering how much I am missing my kids! I sat there, said a few prayers and then it all poured out. This was my "letter to God"

Dear God,
I have never had a relationship with you that was deep enough to satisfy my needs. Growing up, a relationship with you meant little more than showing up. Showing up at Sunday School, showing up at church or Youth Group. Now it seems to be the same when I feel like I want it to be more. But all I know how to do is to show up. And even that is hard sometimes. There are many "excuses". This is not the way I know, or I am all alone, or I don't have the time. Maybe I am afraid of the unknown, which is completely silly. Maybe I'm afraid of the known.
Lord, I ask you to help me remove the obstacles and excuses. I ask that you give me confidence and courage. I ask that you give me the desire to overcome all my excuses.

Love,
Paige

After our quiet time, we all met back at the dining room for lunch, where we were then broken up into small groups with various table leaders. My table leader just so happened to be a woman I had met on a previous occasion, when she substituted for our leader at Bible Study. She and I hit it off right away since she was from Birmingham, AL. She recognized me and it didn't take long before we were talking about our sweet tea and the Auburn Tigers! We had some discussion questions to go over with our group and then we were released for the afternoon for some free time.

Melissa wanted to do some scrapbooking and I wanted to sleep, so we went our separate ways. I laid in my bed in our room for HOURS trying to sort everything out. Even though I was completely exhausted, I couldn't sleep. My mind was going a mile a minute. Before I knew it, Melissa was back and we talked and talked and talked and before long, it was dinner time.

Tonight was a very emotional night for both Melissa and I. After dinner, we went back to hear the next topic from the speaker - being set free to fulfill God's purpose. At the end of the message, they gave us these index cards where we could write down what we were going to do. The front said "I Will" (Luke 5:5) and on the back of mine, I wrote:

.....reach out
.....make an effort
.....be still and listen

Then the band was playing and women were going down in front to pray with one another. This is when I completely lost it. To see these generations of women, hugging each other, praying for each other and generally loving on each other. It was such a beautiful sight. The church I grew up in was not openly emotional. I had never witnessed anything like this in my life! Melissa and I kept exchanging glossy-eyed glances and smiles as we saw the older generation taking the younger girls into their arms and praying with them and for them. It was so beautiful. And it made me miss my mom. And it made me upset that I had missed out on that as a younger woman and it had this strange way of making me feel like an outcast or a fraud, seeing as how I've spent my entire life in the church but never had a moment as meaningful as that.

They excused us to leave if we wanted to and so we did. Melissa and I both expressed what we were feeling to each other, both coming from different perspectives, but both also very moved and touched by what we had witnessed. We stayed up far too late talking about such things and bonding. Good, old-fashioned bonding.

Ready to make my escape

In the past week, I've dealt with issues with having the five and six year old girls sleeping in tents at Camporee, girl friend issues between Morgan and a friend of hers, a son who is increasingly precocious and constantly testing boundaries, my daughter getting a time out at school for pushing said friend of hers during recess, and catching my son grabbing hold of another little boy at MOPS to get him out of the way of the slide. On top of all the drama, I've been busy as ever this week, meetings on Monday and Wednesday, movie night on Tuesday and packing on Thursday. Not to mention the usual regimen of gym, shopping, chores, cooking (and extra at that!), playgroup, MOPS, helping in Morgan's class, etc. I'm just about worn out and I'm ready to make my escape.

This afternoon, I leave for a women's retreat at Mount Herman. The retreat is through my church and I'm very much looking forward to getting away and getting refueled. I'm going with one of my Melissa friends and we've been chatting back and forth about what movies to bring, snacks, activities, etc. I'm soooo looking forward to some girl time and while I know I'll miss my family sorely, I also know this is exactly what I need right now. Farewell!