Operation "Mickey Surprise" a success!

About a month ago, my friend Melissa celebrated her 40th birthday. After asking over and over again what she wanted to do for her birthday, she finally came up with her wish. Girls trip to Disneyland - awesome, right? Yes, except that we haven't been to Disneyland with the kids since Landon was born. I would have felt way to guilty to go without them, that's when the plan started to take shape. You see, Landon is too young to take, but Lance offered to stay home with him. Melissa has season passes and had a trip planned this week. So, we decided to surprise her two oldest and Morgan and Bennett with this surprise trip together.

On Christmas day, I sent an email that said:

"Dear Morgan and Bennett,

There is one last gift to be given to you,
You will never be able to guess from who
It's a special treat that you can look forward to, my dear
In the very near future, it will all become clear!

No peaking, no sneaking,
No bugging or screeching,
It will all be revealed in a few short days,
But you must be patient, and wait until we can play!

Love,
Momma and Daddy"

And the plan was set into motion! This morning, Collin brought Morgan and Bennett a letter that contained a clue for them to find a basket that told them they were going to Disneyland. They were so excited and then got even more excited when they realized we were driving down and doing a road trip together. Looking forward to another week of great memories!! Watch out Disneyland...here we come!!

Never let them see you sweat

Or cry for that matter. No matter how many children you have, it seems that nothing can bring you to tears quite like a good combination of baby "issues", postpartum hormones and an inconsiderate doctor.

When Morgan was a baby, she would not latch on to nurse for anything. They sent me home from the hospital with all kinds of contraptions, never really explaining to me that it wasn't normal or that she was at risk for many things (including but not limited to jaundice, Failure To Thrive, etc.). I knew my milk had not come in yet and knew that she wasn't really eating great, but felt assured that the tubing that they had me tape to my chest before every feeding would make it all better. Or maybe that she would eventually get the hang of drinking from a medicine cup or medicine dropper. It never dawned on me until we went to our first in-office pediatric appointment, the day after being released from the hospital, that her excellent sleeping habits might actually be caused my malnutrition. Imagine hearing that, as a first time parent from a professional doctor. In other words, I heard "you are starving your baby and that is why she sleeps so much". The panic alarms went off inside me and I got completely stressed out. The fact that she wouldn't nurse made it all that more alarming. I was pumping and feeding her, but apparently not as often as they wanted or as much as they would like. Forget the fact that she was sleeping. I was told things like "strip her down and put a cold rag on her to get her to eat". When you hear things like that, the stress level escalates and you feel like the worst parent ever. And with Morgan being our first, I felt it all compounded with these major feelings of inadequacy and kept asking myself how I was going to do this. What have I gotten myself into? Eventually, I gave in and decided to confront nipple confusion head on and while I continued giving her breastmilk, I found it much easier to do so in a bottle and not the medicine dropper. We got into the groove of bottle feeding her, and then pumping for the next feeding. This happened so frequently (it took 20-30 minutes to bottle feed and 15-20 minutes to pump) that it seems like I was doing this around the clock, especially through growth spurts. I would periodically try her on the breast, at times when she wasn't completely starving and I had a lot of patience. Finally, somewhere around 8 weeks old, she finally caught on to the nursing thing and we went on to successfully nurse until she was about 10 months old.

Then there was Bennett. Now, he came out hungry and nursing like a champ, so all my anxiety related to that quickly dissipated and just as I was getting confident in what a great baby I had (heck, my milk was in and he was gaining weight before we even left the hospital!), I realized that I had been thrown another parental curve ball. A fussy or difficult baby that wouldn't sleep. I knew from the moment we brought him home that he was way more interested in making sure he didn't miss a thing at home than he was in sleeping. We had invested in those new-fangled swaddling blankets and I was using them religiously. That is until Mr. Houdini figured out how to free himself. Every. Single. Time. There were nights where we were up every 30-45 minutes because he had freed himself and was pissing himself off with his free arms. Oh the torture! We'd have to reswaddle him, settle him down and pray that the swaddle stuck for longer than an hour. I remember researching different/new swaddle blankets, swaddling him in a regular blanket INSIDE the swaddle blanket, etc. Nothing was keeping this kid in and he just didn't seem to want to sleep unless he was tightly swaddled. He was one of those babies you had to be careful to not overstimulate him and had to watch his cues like a hawk, lest you miss the yawn in that perfect window for sleeping. Which is not always easy with another kid in tow, mind you. But, eventually we quit the swaddle blanket. Cold turkey was the best way to go and we never looked back from there. Bennett still is not my "good sleeper", but nevertheless, we managed to work our way through that parental challenge.

Baby number three - what else is there that hasn't been covered? I've had the baby that didn't eat and the baby that didn't sleep. I felt pretty well prepared for both of these situations and knew what indicators to look for for either one of these types. When Landon was born, he latched on and nursed like a champ, right away. After bringing him home and him having his days and nights mixed up for the first two nights, he started to give us 3-4 hour stretches of sleep at night. Blessed sleep! Is it true? Did we get the perfect baby?

Well, if I had spent a little less time romanticizing the perfect third child, perhaps would not have been in for the rude awakening that I was to experience when he failed to gain weight back as expected for a baby who was latching on so great. Well, apparently he was eating only the minimum amount needed to sustain his little body and then he would promptly go back to sleep. This was made clear in the week after his birth, where he maintained his weight at 8 lbs 14 oz for the entire week. We were in the pediatricians office nearly every day that week and we watched as he lost an ounce, gained an ounce and then maintained. We were given the advice to wake him every 2 hours during the day to feed him and every 3 hours at night. We did this, but he did not gain. Next, we were told to do this AND supplement with a bottle of breast milk after EVERY feeding. I completely lost it at this appointment because I felt like such an idiot. I mean, come on. I'm not new at this. How could I not know that my child was not getting enough to eat? How could I have been so proud of his sleeping when his sleeping was getting in the way of his eating (similarly to Morgan)? Also, I began to have flashbacks to the issues I went through with Morgan. All the pumping and bottle feeding. I didn't want to accept this as the answer because I knew how much work it was. And my baby WAS latching correctly. It just all seemed too much. Not to mention that the doctor we saw that day (not our regular pediatrician) said a few things that really rubbed me the wrong way. I was a bawling, hormonal mess. I texted my friend Melissa and she called me. I could not keep it together while talking to her. She gave me some great advice - just nurse your baby. He's going to gain weight. It's temporary. Hang in there. And so I did. I hung in there, I nursed him every 2-3 hours and then my mom and Lance bottle fed him after while I pumped. We did that for two more days and then went in for another weight check. Finally, FINALLY he gained weight - adding 3 oz to his 8lbs 14 oz, he weighed in at 9 lbs 1oz!. We were advised to feed more on demand (since Landon was not showing signs of hunger) but continue to supplement. So we did that for another two days and he gained another 2 oz! Our pediatrician then recommended that we continue to feed on demand and cut out the supplemental bottles and so we did that and after another two days, he gained 4 oz, up to 9 lbs 7 oz (only 2 oz shy of his birth weight, which is where they want them to be at 2 weeks old). Finally, we were told we were out of the woods and could officially quit worrying about his weight gain. It seems like he's gotten over the hump and was nursing more efficiently.

Now I've got a little oversupply issue to deal with, but I remember going through that with Bennett before and know how to manage that. But, it is just always something, right? I know nobody ever said caring for a newborn was easy, but who ever thought that three babies could be so different, but yet each of them make you sweat and cry nonetheless. I've told Morgan and Bennett about the ways they challenged me as a mother when they were newborns and one day I'll have the same conversation with Landon. Maybe it will help them appreciate me even more.

One hour in the morning

The day starts as the alarm clock goes off. I peek through heavy eyelids and see the time is 6:30. A sleep in morning. I get up and get in the shower and then as I'm drying off, I can hear the life that has started percolating downstairs. Someone is talking a little too loudly, coffee is grinding, life is carrying on. After I'm ready, I go downstairs and greet my family as they themselves get ready for the day. Morgan is in tears for some reason and Bennett is slurping milk out of a bowl that is dangerously close to the edge of the table. I start gathering breakfast for myself, but it isn't long before I find myself needing to resolve the issue that is heating up between Lance and Morgan.

"Daddy won't let me eat breakfast", she wails as she tries to find her socks and shoes. I try to hide my amusement, at the thought that her father is actually withholding a meal from her. I give her some nudging to get her socks and shoes on, which is met with more tears and "but I don't know where they aaaaaaaarrrrrrreeeeee!" I give her some general locations to check and then go back to the kitchen to see about some coffee. Lance is in there, working on breakfast himself and I ask him why on earth he would not allow our daughter to eat breakfast (in a joking manner, of course). He informs me that, as expected, that wasn't exactly what happened. There had been some issue with the remaining cereal and her not wanting it and throwing a fit. He'd asked her to go finish getting ready for school before breakfast. After she was ready, she could eat.

About then, the timer that Lance had set for Bennett goes off, signaling it was time for him to go sit on the potty. I go over to the table and help him down and then follow him to make sure he's doing what he's supposed to do. He pulls down his pants and Big Boy Diego underwear, all the time eyeing the jar of peanut M&Ms on the counter top in the bathroom. He sits for a minute or so before I hear the "da da da DA!" jingle the potty seat makes when something crosses the sensor's plane. He smiles at me and announces "I went potty!!" I give him my most enthusiastic high five, watch while he pulls up his pants and underwear, empties the potty tray into the toilet and flushes it, "bye bye pee pee!" and then squirt him with some foaming hand cleanser. We go back to the table where he is supposed to finish up his cereal because he's going to need to sit on the potty in another 15 minutes and at that time, he's going to need to be getting dressed. Morgan has a performance at school right after drop off.

Morgan has finally located her shoes, but is still sobbing uncontrollably. Focus. Get your hair brush, put a headband in and put your sweatshirt on. After she's completely dressed, Lance has her fix the homework she'd finished the night before, but upon checking had not done correctly. This practically sends her over the top. I know Lance is trying to prove a point to her about wasting time (arguing over cereal), so we try to ignore the drama and just keep emphasizing that she can eat as soon as she is completely ready for school. You might think this would make her move faster, but it actually has the opposite affect since she's not getting what she wants and feels compelled to lament over it.

I'm stand in the kitchen and throw down a quick bowl of raisin bran, put together a thermos of coffee and a Coke Zero to take to work. Secretly, I'm praising God for the fact that we have a team lunch today and I need not worry about packing a lunch. T minus five minutes to leave for the train.

Lance needs to get dressed, Morgan needs to eat, Bennett is finishing breakfast while waiting for the timer to go off again. Everything is in motion, full chaos.

I gather my laptop and glasses, phone and charger since I failed to plug it in last night and once everything is together, I start the process of saying goodbye. Having finished his breakfast, Bennett runs over and grabs my leg and says "Kiss and Hug, Momma!". I bend down and give him a kiss and a quick squeeze. T minus NOTHING to leave for the train. Morgan starts sobbing again, "what about me??!!"She comes running to the door where I take her face in my hand and tell her to have a good day, give her a kiss and a quick squeeze and then I'm out the door.

Ice on the windshield, defroster not working fast enough. Train is coming. Friday traffic sucks. I race to the train station and make it just in time.

All of this in one short hour. And I admit, sometimes I'm breathing a sigh of relief as I walk out that door. A sigh that I'm glad it's not me that has to have the battle of getting in the car and how quickly they are moving and who has their shoes on. A breath of relief that I get to get on a train and open a book and read for 30 minutes. But other times, such as today, I feel badly for the task that my husband has at hand. Potty training, homework, lessons, tardiness. It's a lot. I know FIRST HAND that it's a lot. I wish I could stay and help. Wish I could stay and watch the performance. Such mixed feelings....glad I have a book to escape into!

Yet another rite of passage

I suppose it was only a matter of time. As we grew out of the "T", or toddler, section of the stores and had to quit shopping at BABY Gap, it really was only a matter of time before I have to face the fact that my daughter is growing up. And there are clothes out there that she will want to wear that I may not be comfortable with my baby wearing. You know, like knee length skirts and anything remotely "grown up". So, imagine my surprise when I saw my options for bathing suits for my daughter who has apparently been fertilized sometime this year since the bathing suits that were too big for her at the end of the summer last September are now way too small. It only took a simultaneous wedgie and straps digging into her shoulders for me to get the picture that she needed some new suits.

I met a friend at Old Navy and we started looking. It took me a minute to realize that she was no longer in the same toddler area and so I wheeled around to see the bathing suits in her size. Oh my. A WHOLE WALL of bikinis and tankinis. I had a somewhat carnal reaction, I must admit. I'm not sure why. She's never had a two piece bathing suit. As a baby and toddler, when it wouldn't have seemed quite as risque to me, I just didn't find it practical. Now she's older and the majority of the suits are two pieces. I nearly fell over, trying to picture my girl in a two piece. She's still a little girl! Can't I please just stuff her into something with a ruffle on the bottom?


Nevertheless, I overcame my fear and found the most child-like and homeliest tankini in the bunch. I bought it and here it is on my girl. And I have to admit, it's pretty cute. Too bad when she swims, the bottoms sort of fall off. Can't count the number of times she mooned me as her little bottom came bursting out of the water on this particular day. Guess we need to fertilize her a little more so they fit a little better. :)

A lesson from a little silver box

Today was our last MOPS meeting of the semester. I've come to really look forward to this twice-a-month gathering with other moms, where for two precious hours, we get to be adults. We have a hot breakfast together, without children clamoring for our attention. We get to converse without being interrupted. We get to hear wonderful speakers on everything from nutrition to ways to improve our marriage and family life. Sometimes we even get to make a cute craft like a necklace with a picture of our children, or chocolate dipped pretzels! Regardless, it's nice to have those couple of hours there, smack dab in the middle of the week to relax and enjoy being with other moms.

Today, we not only had a speaker who talked about how important it is to take trips with our family, trips with our husband and trips with our girl friends (who doesn't want to hear that?), but we ended with a little silver box. We each had one with our name on it and there were little slips of paper at each table for us to use to write 2-3 things about each person and then put it in their box. There was a sheet with some examples on it in case you got stuck, but I found that it wasn't hard at all to write 2-3 nice things about each one of the my MOPS mom friends. Once we were done, we tied the ribbons up and went off to pick up our children from their program.

So, I had no idea what was in my box until I got home from picking Morgan up from school. She immediately noticed the little shiny box and was very curious about what was in it. I explained to her what we had done at MOPS. I told her that I didn't know yet what my friends had written about me. The look on her face said more than any words could. She looked at me expectantly. Hopefully. I could tell that she wanted me to open the box.

So, I sat on the step with a kid at each of my sides and untied the ribbon. I pulled out the papers, one by one.

Beautiful
Loving
Fun
Loving

"Mom, that's TWO Lovings!!"

Organized
Thoughtful
Loving

"ANOTHER Loving!"

Godly example
Captivating
Caring
Wonderful
Funny
Godly example

"Someone else said that too!"

Encouraging
Relate-able
Sweet

As I pulled the last one out of the box, I looked at Morgan and she had the biggest grin on her face. And that's when it hit me. She was proud of me. She was seeing what other people said about me and it made her proud. What a heartwarming moment. And also a lesson for me, in that our children are equally as proud of us as we are of them. What more reason do we need than that to try to be our best person? She hugged me and said, "Three people said you were loving!!". I asked her if she agreed with what my friends thought of me and she nodded her head quickly and said, "yes, I do," then gave me another hug.

Then Morgan suggested that we make boxes for everyone in our family. So we can do the same. And you know what, I think we will!

Exhausted

Exhausted.

I think that word pretty much sums up today. After another cold and fitful night of sleep for both myself and Morgan, we woke up even earlier than yesterday for a morning "sunrise" ceremony called "Scouts Own". At least we were allowed to wear our jammies! The girls were asked to not speak from the minute we left the tents until the ceremony was over. When you factored in that many of the older troops had overslept and we had to wait for them to start, the ceremony went much longer than anticipated. Especially for sleepy girls. Who can't talk. :)

After the scouts own ceremony, we headed down to the dining hall for our last meal of Camporee. Pancakes, fruit, bacon, and yogurt awaited us as well as the hot chocolate and coffee from yesterday. Morgan was too exhausted to talk much while eating and before long, it was time for us to pack the cars up, take the tents down, and head home.

We got home around 11ish, just in time for Morgan and I to get showers before lunch. We ate lunch and then napped for a little while until it was time for me to get ready to go work Bingo for the school. Yes, I think I deserve a medal for this! ;-) A mother's work is never done.

"It's even better than I thought it would be!"

That would be a quote from Morgan after a day full of fun and sun at Camporee today. After a fitful night of sleep (thanks to the cold -- sub 30 degree temperatures all night!! -- and one little girl who called out a couple of times), the day started early with us getting the girls up and ready (complete with their Camporee shirt and pink bandannas, and their day packs ready) for Flag Up at 7am. At Flag Up, each of the troops had a cheer or chant for their role call and our troop (32511) chanted, "Two-Five-One-One, we think camping's lots of fun!", which was a chant that some of the staff girls had helped us come up with during one of the meetings they came to to tell the girls about Camporee. After the flag ceremony, it was time for our first meal at Camporee, breakfast. They had bananas, fritatta, sausages, and even hot chocolate, which Morgan was very excited about. But what was even MORE! EXCITING! is that she got to wash her own dishes. You probably remember the deal - mesh bag with your mess kit. Wash, dunk, hang? Yeah, so apparently this is a very exciting task for a five and a half year old. Who knew? Maybe I need to pull together mess kits for everyone in the family and get Morgan to do the dishes for me.

We hiked back to the soccer fields where the girls would get lined up and would be handed over to the "Pink Beard" staff girls who would lead them around the various stations that day. They did knife safety, outdoor cooking, semaphore, skit, first aid/safety, talking like a pirate, sword fighting, treasure hunting, and a service project where they were restoring a wildlife area by pulling weeds, removing dead trees and planting new ones. They had organized the stations to have activities for all the various aged girls, to tailor it to something they could and would do. This was by far, Morgan's favorite thing. She really enjoyed hanging around with the older girls and learning knew things. They had it split into morning session and afternoon session. During the morning session, the moms took shifts helping out at the service station, digging up trees and helping older girls plant trees. We stood by as our girls came to the station and watched them pull weeds. Around lunch, it was time for the Pink Beard patrol to be returned to troops and then it was time to eat lunch. There was a sandwich bar set up for lunch and after lunch the girls got a chance for some free play time with the other Girl Scouts in the landlubbers games. Morgan spent the whole time doing the catapult, and trying to hit me with the ping pong balls. :) When the landlubbers games were over, it was time for the girls to finish their rotations, and Morgan was already exhausted! She kept asking if she was going to be taking a nap. :)

The girls were off doing their stations and the moms all had free time so we went to the cafeteria and a lot of the moms made lanyards and we all chatted a bunch, mostly about school stuff. I even managed to catch a cat nap, completely by accident. Before long, it was time to go get the girls at the soccer field and head back to camp for "troop time". We were to head to dinner (cheeseburgers, corn, and salad) shortly after and then the girls would be going campfire with their patrols. They had learned a skit at one of their stations and each patrol performed their skit for the large audience. As special guests, we had some people from the school for the blind who were camping near us and came to listen to the campfire that night. Our girls did a skit called The Invisible Bench and shortly after that, we were signaled by the staff that they were "done" and ready to go back to camp to sleep. We mixed up the sleeping arrangements a little and so Kristin and Kaitlyn, Morgan and I slept in one tent with the other moms and Daisies slept in the other tent. Although it was cold (though not as cold for as long as last night), the girls were quickly asleep again!

Girls go camping

Today was our first night camping with the tiniest of Girl Scouts, our Daisies. I've had everything ready to go for a couple of days, and put the final touches on last night. Poor Bennett, wants to go camping so bad. He keeps seeing all the equipment and crying, "me go!!!". I worked in Morgan's class this morning and my friend Lara kept Bennett for me. The anxiety and excitement was starting to grow by the time school was over and I was rushing to pick up Bennett and get home. I wanted to get the kids fed and Morgan napping ASAP since we were to meet at Kristin's house at 3:30. One of the other Daisy moms was picking me up at 3, so I knew I had little time to waste.

We were ready, waiting at the curb at 3 with all our gear, even if Morgan was a little grumpy from being woken from her nap too soon. We all met at Kristin's house and waited a little bit for the one last mom and Daisy to show up and then we were off to Camporee! We were warned that the road to the camp grounds is very windy and they made no exaggerations on this matter. I was relieved that I had remembered to give Morgan her dramamine and had her wearing her anti-motion sickness wristbands. The girls got really excited as we drove into the camp grounds and the scout characteristics hung over our heads, from the trees. Now that the girls could read, it was fun for them to find them and read them. Loyalty. Cheerful. Obedience.

We pulled up to the first stop and were greeted by a woman dressed up like a pirate, getting our troop checked in and getting us the important information we needed. We parked and loaded up a wagon with gears, the girls with their gear and headed up this hill that we'd come to know and love over the next two days as we hiked up and down it to get to and from all the activities. The camp sites rested at the top of the hill and we were given what had to have been the world's smallest campsite. We had two 7 person tents to pitch in an area that *might* comfortably house one. No time to worry, we set the girls up with their dinners we had brought and got to work setting up the tents. One of the nicest things I found about the whole weekend were the older girls who had organized the whole event. They literally had 2 or 3 girls available to us the minute we got there to help us pitch our tent, take the girls to the bathroom, or do whatever we needed help with. It was so nice!

We managed to get the tents pitched, our gear trekked up hill, and everyone bundled up for campfire just in time. We hiked back down the hill to where they were attempting to light the camp fire. The girls hung out and waited for the fun to start, but were also incredibly tired and incredibly cold! Pretty soon, the staff girls (older Girl Scouts running the trip) came up and started teaching the girls songs. The girls were loving it (especially loving playing with their flashlights), but their age really showed when they all climbed into their mothers laps, one by one, wanting to warm up and whispering how tired they were. We decided it was time to get back to camp, so we hiked back up the hill, got the girls bundled up in hats and gloves and sleeping bags with blankets so sleep out there in the freezing cold. Once they were settled, Kristin stayed in the tent with them while the other moms went into the other tent to sleep. The girls were out within fifteen minutes! Amazing little campers! :)

Be prepared

I spent the better part of the day going from store to store. Not like a fun, hey let's run over to Nordie's shopping trip. Nooo, this one included stores like Dom's Outdoor Outfitter, Orchard Supply Hardware, and Walmart. Far from fun, but I'm making progress on the crazy long list of items needed for upcoming Girl Scout Camporee weekend. Things like ponchos, compasses, light sticks, emergency whistles and day packs. We were warned to pack light (as the girls have to haul their own gear), but yet this long list of things we need doesn't really lend itself to that sentiment.

Nevertheless, I have begun the process of packing. Good thing I'm crazy about having lots of Ziploc bags on hand, because EVERYTHING is going in a Ziploc bag. I mean, not only does it help compact clothes and stuff, but also? Despite having completely warm and wonderful weather for several days now, we are expecting the weather to turn cold, and worse....WET! The forecast is showing potential showers all weekend.

As I'm packing things up, Morgan is getting more and more excited about the trip. We've discussed ad nauseum the plan for when we are leaving, where we are going, who's going to be there. We've discussed activities there and how we'll eat and all these kinds of things. However, I am thinking that nothing I can do or say is going to truly prepare her or me for a weekend of first time scout camping.

I know it's the boy scout motto, but I'm stealing it for this weekend. Be prepared. That's my plan.

Our first big outing of the season!

As the weather gets nicer and summer draws nearer, I yearn for the carefree days of going wherever we want, whenever we want. I love going to new places and exploring them with the kids and I also like going back to some of our favorites. Today, we took our first trip of the season, to Gilroy Gardens. This amusement park is perfect because it's small enough to do in a day, has lots of rides for the five and under crowd, and it never gets too packed with people, even during spring break! We went with my friend Melissa and her daughter Clare and we had a great time! Even the trip home, with my two non-stop talkers was funny. :)

Here are a few of my favorite pictures from the day.

A different park for a change

Day three of Spring Break and the weather is finally starting to get a titch warmer and a little less windy. We met for Bennett's playgroup at a super cute park that I had all but forgotten about since the days of Morgan's toddlerhood. Osage Station Park in Danville is a super cute park with a train that the kids had a ton of fun pretending they were headed to Disneyland on. We spent ALL morning at the park, ate lunch and then headed out as little eyes were getting tired. Love a great morning at the park!

Bennett's 2 year well check

Today, after my parents left for the airport, we saw our beloved pediatrician for Bennett's two year well check. I was sad to hear Bennett asking if he could go with "Meemaw and Peepaw" to the airport, but promised him fun times at the doctor's office!

His stats were 33.75 inches (50th percentile) and 30 pounds (shot up to 75th percentile). He's still steady on his growth curve, on track to be around Lance's height. Developmentally, Bennett is far beyond where he should be, just turning two. He is closer to 2.5 or 3, and that includes all the negative stuff as well. He's extremely talkative, continuing to blow our pediatrician away. The doctor promised another six to nine months of "the terrible twos", but failed to mention anything about the "torturous threes", which were worse for me than the twos with Morgan. Maybe he's getting it all out of his system now? The doctor reinforced that our consistent discipline is what will help us get through this and that it will take a lot of patience as Bennett continues to test us. He claims that even though Bennett is more difficult than Morgan was, he is still really good, compared to other kids, so I'm REALLY GLAD I don't have those other kids. :)

We also talked briefly about the nap situation with Morgan and he reinforced what I kind of instinctively have known, my daughter just might be one of those kids that needs more sleep. I don't need to worry about weaning her now, there's plenty of time for her to adjust later. Whew!

At the end of the appointment, Bennett got his Hep A shot, kicked the nurse, and then both kids got lollipops and we were off!

Ushering in Spring Break

Today was not only the last day of my parents' visit with us, but also happened to be the first day of Spring Break. Wanting to take full advantage, I planned a trip to the Lindsay Wildlife Museum this morning.

Before leaving for the museum, my mom and I hit the gym for a little exercise. Not really knowing what to do, we happened into a Step class. Now, Step is not normally my thing, but my mom seemed interested, so we gave it a shot. Except this was no normal step class where you are just up and down on the same step. Noooooo. This was what they call "Four Step". Basically, you do all the movements between four different steps. The instructor calls out which step to go to along with the movement. Not having taken a Step class before, there was a little bit of a learning curve to figure out what a basic right or shooter was, but I figured it out. Not only was this a good physical workout, but it was a good mental workout also. My mom and I both really enjoyed the class! After getting showers and heading home, we picked up my dad and we all headed to Walnut Creek to the wildlife museum.


The museum is pretty small, so we were able to see it all in just a couple of hours. The kids really enjoyed seeing all the birds and snakes, lizards and turtles. The highlights included watching the bobcat get fed and petting the bunny. But the big fun came after we left and went to JACK IN THE BOX for lunch. Because I've apparently never taken my kids there and that is equivalent to some sort of child deprivation. Morgan kept talking about how great it was to be eating there. LOL

After naps, the weather was nice enough to get the kids out to expend some energy before requesting that they sit nicely at a restaurant for dinner. So, my mom and I took them to a nearby park and they had fun. After, they were actually fairly good at dinner. Nice way to start off Spring break!

Busy bees!

Today was a full but fun day! It started with my mom and I going to the gym and then Lance and my dad taking Morgan to Lowe's to build bird houses with their Build and Grow program. They all had a great time and while they were gone, my mom and I got ready to take Morgan shopping when she got back. I figured she was old enough to hang with us on a girls outing to lunch and shop!

We let her pick the lunching destination (Chili's, of course) and then after, we headed to Kohl's because I had gotten a 20% off coupon in the mail. Plus they had Early Bird specials that ended at 1. Here's what we learned.

1. While Morgan may be big enough for a casual shopping trip, she is not old enough to hang with the "oh my gosh, the sale ends in 20 minutes and we need her to try on all these clothes" mentality.
2. My mom and I make a great team when it comes to undressing and dressing Morgan in upwards of a dozen outfits in record time!
3. All the shirts they make these days are too tight.
4. It was completely worth it to rush through the shopping to get the 20% off!!

After shopping, we came home and I collapsed and then later, got ready for my second date with my hubby in as many days. We were going to go play bocce ball, but after last night's dinner and movie (expensive sushi & Sunshine Cleaners), we opted for something less expensive. Dinner at Tomatinos and another movie (Knowing)! Given the heavy topic last night, we kept it light and only discussed things like religion. ;-) But it was great to be able to have an uninterrupted, meaningful conversation with my husband. It was also quite ironic that we went and saw Knowing right after our conversation, because it was similar in topic.

It seems like I say it all the time and never do anything about it, but we really need to start doing regular date nights. I miss them!!

"This is it": The end of an era

When my parents planned their trip out to see us for Bennett's birthday and Easter, my mom made sure to let me know in advance to plan to have some date nights while they were here to babysit. This meant I had plenty of time to think about the date and what we might do and even to think about the things we would talk about. Because uninterrupted face-to-face time to talk without TV's or computers is pretty rare in my house. At the same time, my baby fever has been reaching a feverish pitch and so it was inevitable that our discussion at our first date night would center around that topic.

Never one to beat around the bush, I told Lance that I thought we needed to discuss it and that I understood if he wanted time to think about it (after all, I'd had over a month to think about what I wanted to say), but that we happened to have some uninterrupted time to discuss if he was ready. He agreed to discuss the topic of us having more kids and so it went.

The main thing I wanted to get across was that I knew that he wasn't leaning towards having more and that I definitely feel like I'm not done. That doesn't mean that I'm going to be having more kids, it just means that I need a certain amount of time to "get over it", if we decide we are done. When I married Lance, I knew he wanted two kids and he knew that I wanted three or four. And here we sit, with two happy, healthy children. One boy and one girl. Him feeling like we are so lucky to have the two we have and that it is plenty. Me agreeing that we are, in fact, extremely lucky and wanting to have more. In this situation, one person is not going to get their way. I have always somewhat mentally prepared myself to be the loser in this debate, as I would never dictate to him that we have to have more kids. I guess I was just hoping that this was another "house purchase in 2000", or "car purchase in 2002" or "first baby in 2003" types of discussions where all he needed was a gentle nudge to be shifted into the next thing. Except this is different. He doesn't feel the need to have more children. It's not a matter of when, it's a matter of need. And while I understand, because I don't feel it's a matter of need, it is a matter of desire to me. I was hoping his not feeling the need was different than his feeling the need not to. Make sense?

However mentally prepared I thought I was to be the loser, it didn't shield me from the sting and sadness I felt, immediately, when I thought about not having any more children. Thinking that the things that have already passed with Bennett are things that I will never experience again. There was a point, when Bennett was tiny and a terror (now he's a big terror), that I was positive that I would never want to do this again and I got rid of all my baby stuff. But then, he changed and things changed and I felt myself easing back into that idea of more kids. The older he gets, the more I have felt this way, so much so that I've let go of the mental awareness that comes with knowing "this is it". When I stopped nursing him, I mentally made note that it would be the last time. But there was always this voice in my head saying, "really?". Well, I guess I know the answer now. It was the last time.

I'm sad for the times I'll never have again. I'm sad for the times that I let go without saying goodbye. I'm sad for the times that I'm having now, in each moment that I think "this is it" and my heart breaks a little. I'm sad for the times in the future that we have yet to get to, that I will have to say "this is it" as I soak it in. I'm sad for the relationships that could have been. The brothers or sisters to be. I'm just sad.

I know that I'll be okay with all this eventually. I'm already trying to find the silver linings. As Bennett gets older, our world opens up to more possibilities -- the ones we were just beginning to taste as Morgan got older before Bennett was born. I look forward to not having to buy diapers or cut up food, or try to understand toddler-ese anymore. Or at least I think I will. Right now, I just feel like I could do it forever, just to experience MORE of this. This family I have. These kids I have. The relationships. More.

Oh well, farewell to the era of little babies. Hello to what comes next.

Spring is in the air

Well, sort of. We'll ignore the gloomy weather we've been having, and focus instead on the fun and cute stuff like the spring party we had in Morgan's class today. Unfortunately, her teacher missed it because she was out sick, but the kids still did pretty well with the sub. The party went on!

My mom was able to come into the classroom today since it was a party day and she watched Bennett in the classroom while I stepped up my efforts a little to help the substitute teacher out. But, she was able to see all the fun stuff the kids do and how the parties go (for the most part). At the end of the party, the kids hunted for their eggs. Each kid had eight eggs with their name on them and they had to find only the ones with their names. Unfortunately, there were a few girls who couldn't find all their eggs, but it was still fun for them to find all the places that the moms hid the eggs while they were at the library.

I took Morgan out of school a little early (right after the egg hunt) and we made it to church just in time for the noon Good Friday service. It was a great service, and I ended up sitting next to one of the girls from my table at the women's retreat. I can't tell you how nice it is to see people you know at a church that's so big!

After church, we came home and since my dad was busy watching The Masters on TV, I took that as my cue to go upstairs and take a good long nap. Which I did. Blissful sleep! Which is good since I have a date tonight with my hubby. Woohoo!

All together now....awwww!

Tonight was the My Guy and I dance for Girl Scouts. The idea here is that the Dads all get together with their girls and go have fun dancing the night away. It started at 7, so I had to have Morgan ready when Lance came to get her after work. She was so excited, she could hardly stand it! She told me that she could just picture what it was going to be like. She said she pictured it would be like a wedding. Pretty soon, it was getting to be dinner time, so I set Bennett up with some food and helped Morgan get dressed for her big "date". Lance showed up, right on time, with a white rose for his girl. This just sent her over the top! She was sooo cute! I got some pictures before the cute couple headed out to their night full of pizza, chicken dancing, and congo lines. :) Too cute!

When they got home, she was talking a mile a minute about all the fun stuff they did and saw. She even managed to get Daddy out on the dance floor a few times. You go girl!!

The space between

Sometimes having children almost four years apart in age has it's benefits. Such as being able to enjoy a nice long playgroup with my youngest while my oldest is in school. It's so nice to be able to have him have his very own playgroup and that I'm able to do it without an older child vying for attention. He has his own friends, not just his sister's friends. He gets his own time with me just like she did.


However, there are times that it's very difficult. Like when the oldest has her own activities that interfere with the youngest's sleep schedule. Today, we hung out at playgroup until it was time to pick Morgan up after her small reading group after school. Then, less than an hour later she had Daisies, for an hour. None of these time chunks were long enough for Bennett's nap. Since he sometimes doesn't go down until 2pm, I figured keeping him up and not letting him nap until after Daisies was probably the way to go (they get done at 3pm). He handled it as well as can be expected, but was so overtired when we got home that he screamed and screamed when it was time for nap.

Reality gracefully tumbles back down

I was so tired last night that I was out by 10pm. I guess that's what a long, emotional weekend will do for you. Nevertheless, time marches on, as does life. With a renewed spiritual energy, I woke up and did my morning devotional, got things packed up for a walk at a local park with my friend Kristin, and got Morgan off to school. Kristin and I walked our furthest route yet - about 4 miles and then took Bennett to story time at the library. He enjoyed it as usual, especially since this week's theme was fish. After story time, we had just enough time at home for me to get the bathrooms cleaned while corn dogs were cooking in the oven. I wrapped them up in tin foil, packed up some other stuff and headed to pick Morgan up from school. Her classmates were meeting at a park by our house for a picnic after school! We spent a good two hours there before it was time to come home. I put the kids down for their naps and then right as I was sitting down to catch up on email and facebook, my mom calls. I had hoped to talk to her, so I spent a good long time catching her up on everything and anticipating her upcoming visit here with her. I started prepping spaghetti for dinner and before I knew it, nap time was over and the kids were up! Dinner, bath time, bed time, dishes. Finally able to sit down and relax with my hubby after all the day's reality came tumbling back down.

I need a weekend away from my weekend away. :)

Ready to make my escape

In the past week, I've dealt with issues with having the five and six year old girls sleeping in tents at Camporee, girl friend issues between Morgan and a friend of hers, a son who is increasingly precocious and constantly testing boundaries, my daughter getting a time out at school for pushing said friend of hers during recess, and catching my son grabbing hold of another little boy at MOPS to get him out of the way of the slide. On top of all the drama, I've been busy as ever this week, meetings on Monday and Wednesday, movie night on Tuesday and packing on Thursday. Not to mention the usual regimen of gym, shopping, chores, cooking (and extra at that!), playgroup, MOPS, helping in Morgan's class, etc. I'm just about worn out and I'm ready to make my escape.

This afternoon, I leave for a women's retreat at Mount Herman. The retreat is through my church and I'm very much looking forward to getting away and getting refueled. I'm going with one of my Melissa friends and we've been chatting back and forth about what movies to bring, snacks, activities, etc. I'm soooo looking forward to some girl time and while I know I'll miss my family sorely, I also know this is exactly what I need right now. Farewell!