Would you give a drug addict a shot of heroin?

Probably not. So, I'm not sure why I introduced my husband to Freecycle. He's actually shown some restraint over the past months that he's been monitoring the comings and goings of ALL KINDS OF THINGS HE MIGHT NEED. Last night, he fell off the wagon.

He came in with not one or two bags of clothes, but THREE LARGE garbage bags full. And in some weird twist of fate, this person who had these clothes before, must be some sort of lost clothing soul mate of my husband's. Because as he sorted through the bags, suddenly the "keeper" pile began resembling the clothes that he already has in his closet. You know, the ones he never wears? Because he wears the same handful of shirts and jeans over and over? EXCEPT that this guy was a little off on a few things.

1. Lance doesn't wear pleated front pants. I mean, really, who does anymore?
2. Lance cannot handle bumpy textured shirts.
3. All the shorts were about six inches shorter than what Lance normally wears.
4. Until now, Lance had not owned a light purple shirt.
5. Or a FLORESCENT green tank top!! (someone please save me)

As if this isn't enough to deal with for one night, in another odd happenstance, this guy actually also wears the same shoe size as Lance. So, he went back for 13 pairs of shoes. Yes. You read that correctly. THIRTEEN pairs of shoes. They all fall squarely into two category. Hiking boots and tennis shoes. So, we are now well stocked on men's hiking boots and tennis shoes.

As if this isn't enough to handle, Lance proceeds to put on a fashion show last night, trying them all on. Luckily, he tried them on because a lot of them didn't really fit. He put on some tight jeans shorts and exclaimed that he had an identical pair upstairs and that he'd keep them. *blink blink*....what? Why would you keep jeans shorts that DON'T FIT. Especially if you already have a pair upstairs that are IDENTICAL and IDENTICALLY DON'T FIT!

Oh the sight of him in a bright florescent orange shirt, tight and short, with grey "sweat shorts" on. I think we've figured out that this guy might be a little flamboyant in the wardrobe area. I was surprised that Lance didn't find any high heels in the bags of shoes he confiscated. The funniest thing last night, was when Lance tried on a fleece vest without a shirt on underneath. I assured him that this was probably the same way his clothes benefactor wore it. He pulled it slightly off of his shoulders and assured me that THAT was the way he wore it.

I'm not even going to get into the thought that Lance had about driving back and forth in front of this guy's house to figure out what he was like. I mean, were these OLD clothes that he just never wore (as evidenced by the BUTTON FLY shorts), or does he routinely wear florescent colored clothing. Inquiring (stalking) minds want to know.