Keeping it real

I have a couple of topics bubbling up to the surface, so you may have to endure a couple of long-winded, incoherent, oh-so-serious entries here over the next few days. I'll try to pepper my blog with the crazy antics of my kids (or myself, as the case may be), just to keep you guys happy, but I need to get these thoughts out. It's cathartic for me.

So, the first topic is friends and authenticity. On more than one occasion lately, I have had separate people tell me that what they are looking for in a friend is someone who's real. Someone who has a grasp on reality and shares not just the good, but also the not-so-good. Someone who doesn't need to overdo the makeup or overdo the concern over appearance. These people are looking for someone to connect to that is real. Because life doesn't always wear lipstick. Sometimes, life involves dealing with things like infertility or arguments. Bad things happen and not everyone lives the life of the Cleavers.

I feel like there have been very few people in my life that have totally accepted me for exactly who I am. Not needing anything. Not wanting to change who I am. Taking the good with the bad. Allowing me to be exactly who I am. I can count on my fingers the people in my life that fall into that category. I have tons of friends whom I have a lot of fun with. We laugh and we support each other, but only up to a certain point. When the going gets tough, some people don't know how to handle it. I will admit that to some, I am that person. I'm the one that is just a casual friend. I'm the one that gets all flustered when bad things happen and doesn't know what to say. To others, I'm more. I guess it just boils down to who you "click" with, what you have in common, etc.

And also? If life is so grand and everything is so great, then what on earth do we need friends for? I have enough people in my life that would love to come along on the celebratory ride. How many would stand by me when times are hard and life takes you down a different path?

The deep friendships I've maintained aren't people I talk to daily. They are friends I've had and kept along the way. Right now, I have a few friendships which are developing. Recently, I've met some new people and have gotten closer to some existing friends. I don't need more surface friendships. I don't need someone who's kid is better behaved than mine or who knows everything there is to know about everything. I need someone that I can pick up the phone and call when I'm sobbing. I need someone who will understand if I tell them that I made a mistake and I'm sorry and will really forgive me. I need someone who acknowledges their own mistakes and shortcomings and allows me to accept them. I need someone that doesn't care if I haven't shaved my legs or if my car needs to be washed. I need someone who cares about me enough to NOT pass judgment. I have a great relationship with my husband and my mom. But I'm looking forward to finding that friend. Because there's nothing quite like a good girl friend that you connect with regularly. To help keep you sane in the very REAL world.