A lesson from a little silver box

Today was our last MOPS meeting of the semester. I've come to really look forward to this twice-a-month gathering with other moms, where for two precious hours, we get to be adults. We have a hot breakfast together, without children clamoring for our attention. We get to converse without being interrupted. We get to hear wonderful speakers on everything from nutrition to ways to improve our marriage and family life. Sometimes we even get to make a cute craft like a necklace with a picture of our children, or chocolate dipped pretzels! Regardless, it's nice to have those couple of hours there, smack dab in the middle of the week to relax and enjoy being with other moms.

Today, we not only had a speaker who talked about how important it is to take trips with our family, trips with our husband and trips with our girl friends (who doesn't want to hear that?), but we ended with a little silver box. We each had one with our name on it and there were little slips of paper at each table for us to use to write 2-3 things about each person and then put it in their box. There was a sheet with some examples on it in case you got stuck, but I found that it wasn't hard at all to write 2-3 nice things about each one of the my MOPS mom friends. Once we were done, we tied the ribbons up and went off to pick up our children from their program.

So, I had no idea what was in my box until I got home from picking Morgan up from school. She immediately noticed the little shiny box and was very curious about what was in it. I explained to her what we had done at MOPS. I told her that I didn't know yet what my friends had written about me. The look on her face said more than any words could. She looked at me expectantly. Hopefully. I could tell that she wanted me to open the box.

So, I sat on the step with a kid at each of my sides and untied the ribbon. I pulled out the papers, one by one.

Beautiful
Loving
Fun
Loving

"Mom, that's TWO Lovings!!"

Organized
Thoughtful
Loving

"ANOTHER Loving!"

Godly example
Captivating
Caring
Wonderful
Funny
Godly example

"Someone else said that too!"

Encouraging
Relate-able
Sweet

As I pulled the last one out of the box, I looked at Morgan and she had the biggest grin on her face. And that's when it hit me. She was proud of me. She was seeing what other people said about me and it made her proud. What a heartwarming moment. And also a lesson for me, in that our children are equally as proud of us as we are of them. What more reason do we need than that to try to be our best person? She hugged me and said, "Three people said you were loving!!". I asked her if she agreed with what my friends thought of me and she nodded her head quickly and said, "yes, I do," then gave me another hug.

Then Morgan suggested that we make boxes for everyone in our family. So we can do the same. And you know what, I think we will!

Ode to my camera

How I love thee
For capturing life's moments
Just as they are
Without losing patience.
















How I love thee
For not a lot of fuss and worry
I can simply put it on A
And take pictures in a hurry.
















Oh, how I love thee
A stare, captured
A feeling, forever
Joy and laughter.

A gift to myself

When Lance and I figured out that we were getting a sizable rebate from our taxes, we decided to set aside a portion of it for a new camera for me and a TV for him. I started scouring the Internet for specifications, prices and deals. My dad gave me some advice and I finally settled on the Nikon D60 for my new camera.

I've been wanting to dabble more in photography for at least 8 years. Well, today my dabbling started! I have my new gift to myself in my hot little hands and I'm having a blast. Here are a few of my favorites from today.






Of course, with subject matter like this, it's hard to take a bad picture. ;-)

Can't wait to have some alone time to play with it more!

The fairest of them all

Bennett has really gotten into dressing up. How fun! Not just for him, but also for his sister. It's like a real live doll to play with. This one even responds and follows you around the house. Only it also poops and burps. So lifelike!

What's childhood without some good blackmail material anyway? ;-)

The thought is what counts!

My wish for today was nothing more than to be able to lounge around in bed all day. Here's what I had imagined.

Sleeping in.
Breakfast in bed.
Snuggling with children.
Sending children away to commence hours upon ours of alternating between blogging, reading and watching trash TV.
Staying in my pajamas all day.
Seeing sweet faces give me cards.
Not having to lift a single finger to do a single thing.
Facebooking in bed.
Not having to plan, cook or clean up any meals.
Did I mention the staying in bed all day part?



Here's what I got:
Slept in a little
Breakfast in bed.
Snuggles with children.
Sent children away and commenced short bursts of blogging, reading, and watching TV.
Stayed in my pajamas most of the day.
Sweet faces gave me cards.
Ended up helping with kids because they were a real handful.
Facebooking in bed.
Didn't plan, cook, or clean up any meals.
Didn't stay in bed all day....it's too stressful to hear your husband losing his patience with children acting like banshees.
Oh, and I got some lovely flowers on Friday!

Happy Mothers Day!

If you don't have anything nice to say...

....then show pictures and videos of your amazing kids! :)

We went to see Lance's mother today. We haven't seen her since Bennett was a couple months old. We drove the two and a half hour drive with the kids plugged into a movie. Well, okay, just Morgan plugged in since Bennett kept taking his headphones off and unplugging his DVD player. It was nice to see her, but it was also a farewell since she's moving away to Washington. It's always a little strange to me to visit with relatives that you don't see very often. You are supposed to have this familiarity, but yet it's not there since you don't see them too often.

Fortunately, kids don't recognize social nuances such as these, and instead, had fun seeing their Nana. Since she is in the process of packing and someone else is moving in, we went out to lunch and then headed to this really amazing park for some play time after. This park had EVERYTHING! A little play town, a play structure, a rope web to climb on, sand, swings, water stuff, EVEN HORSES TO RIDE AND A TRAIN! I wish we had a reason to go back...


After lots of fun at the park, we loaded back into the car and dropped Lance's mom back off at her house. We said our goodbyes and then were off for our two and a half hour drive back. This one was with seriously deliriously tired children, so we got to see fun things such as this video.




Good times.

Mr. Pickles

There is a restaurant in town, right on the corner of a busy intersection that has seen at least five turnovers since we've lived here. For some reason, whatever was there has not done very well. It's past lives include things like sushi and sandwiches and just when an owner would get settled in, pretty soon you'd see a "For Sale" sign in the window. It's baffled Lance and I since we moved here.

Except the current tenant is an extraordinary entrepreneur. Sure, they've moved in with the usual lunch fare, but this time they have their secret weapon.

A giant, dancing pickle.

I know....what? A giant dancing pickle? Yes, that is correct. It's become the thing my children look forward to when we drive by. If he's out there dancing, they are crazy waving at him and pointing him out. I'm pretty sure they must know me by my car and my kids. Because they look like fools every time we drive by. And with this particular location, it's quite often.

I kid you not, we will be down the street, driving towards the restaurant and they are both straining to catch sight of the chef's hat he wears. Oh, we've had many different conversations centered on Mr. Pickles. Where is he in the mornings when he's not out? He's sleeping. Why does he wear a hat? He's a chef at the restaurant. How does he see out? Do you think he eats pickles?

EVEN IF HE'S NOT THERE, we go through the same stuff. Bennett will inform me (EVERY TIME) that he's not there because he's sleeping so that he can wave to him.

Even though I never visited any of the other establishments that called this particular location home, we WILL be going to Mr. Pickles. Because, really? How can I not. It's practically Disneyland.

Nice work, Mr. Pickles. Sheer genius!

Remembering my former self

I agreed to meet two of my former coworkers for lunch this afternoon. Not too long ago, it wasn't all that uncommon for us to get together for all you can eat Indian or that awesome little Thai place in Mountain View. But nowadays, going out for a real meal for lunch is practically unheard of and I rarely go with anyone outside of my mommy/children/parenting circle. Even if I have known them before children, they now have children to, so our frame of reference has changed as well. But these people that I had lunch with today, there is no other context for them other than my previous job. One of them is the proud father of two older kids and the other is a self proclaimed non-baby-lover step mother of adult children. So, it's not as if they don't have kids at all. But, they aren't in the throws of toddlerhood or Kindergarten. They aren't eating and sleeping and breathing the same things I am these days.

Before, in my former life, we'd talk about things like budgets, off site meetings, schedules and the random office gossip. We'd laugh over the idiotic thing that happened in that meeting earlier or we'd vent to each other about the inefficiencies of being purchased by a large machine-type corporation. Now, we all work in different spots. Each of them having gone on to a different job after I left work to stay at home. I'm further out of the office political loop than I ever have been and we were forced to connect in different ways. At first, I was a little hesitant about the lunch, not knowing what we would talk about, but it was really good to catch up with former coworkers and to also see new sides of them. We reinvented ourselves and in turn, reinvented our relationships with each other.

During the meeting, one of my former coworkers (who now works for Apple), kept checking his iPhone. It was like he had one foot out the door the whole time. And I sooo remember being like that. There was always something going on. An email that had to be answered. A time-sensitive decision to be made or a signature to get. A meeting to not be late for. And now? My time is mostly my own. It's only as crazy as I make it, so there's no one else to blame. But you know what, I'm completely present. At lunch today, I was completely present both mentally and emotionally. It made me realize how much happier my kids must be now that they don't have to share me with a meeting, or a budget, or a schedule, or a decision. They have me. All of me. All the time. And I don't have to worry about how poorly I'm doing in one area or the other due to having to split my time. If I'm doing poorly, it's just in the one area. :) That's a lot less guilt to carry.

Me and my kids, we're both very lucky.

Worst mom award winner

You know how a friend might accidentally drop their child, say from the changing table or something like that? You know how they are all distressed and you tell them repeatedly not to worry about it, that their baby is fine and that it's harder on the parent than it is on the child?

Well, up until today, I could never truly empathize with the mother in those situations because I have never dropped my child. Until today. It happened so quickly, yet in such slow motion. I could see it happening, but had no way of stopping it. I keep replaying it over and over in my head, beating myself up for it, even knowing that it won't do any good. No, I dropped my son and I can't take it back.

He's not even really that badly hurt. He's got a bruise on his forehead, a scrape on his cheek, his chin and both knees. But the crying. Oh my. I'll hear that cry in my head and in my heart for a long time.

It happened innocently enough. At 30+ pounds, my son is a load to carry. Our morning walks to drop Morgan off to school are an effort in me balancing him, some keys, my coffee cup, or whatever else we have going on that day. I can't let him walk because he is just too slow and even if that didn't drive me crazy, he would get trampled on by the other students who are walking at a much faster pace. This includes his sister. So, I have to carry him. Well, the other day I had the bright idea of shoulders. So much easier, right? And it was! So, today I did the same for the trip back to the car. We were kind of in a hurry because I was meeting my friend Kristin at the park for a walk. I popped him up on my shoulders and chatted with a friend until we reached our car. When we got there, I opened the card door, grabbed him with both hands. I lifted him up off my shoulders, over my head and down to the ground where I went to set his feet on the ground. Only his feet didn't hit the ground. Instead, he toppled over forwards, into the door jam of my car and also onto the sidewalk. Like I said before, this all happened so quickly, but in such slow motion. Then the crying started.

Now, my boy is tough. He's been known to walk up to you with a huge scrape on his arm and not even care that it's there. I never worry with him that he's over exaggerating something, because he just doesn't do that. But his cry. Well, it makes me want to cry just thinking about it. He started wailing. Normally I can ask him if he's okay and he'll stop his crying and say yes and that's that. But not this time. Nope, he just kept wailing.

I held him as tight as I could. As if I could apologize for not being more careful simply by squeezing him tighter. I rocked him side to side, shushing him like a newborn, telling him over and over again, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry!" Finally, his cries subsided and I got a good look at him. Then I started crying. A huge bruise on his forehead, scrapes everywhere. My fault. I shouldn't have. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry.

He looked at me and said, "Momma, you crying?" I told him I was, because I was sorry that he got hurt. I asked him if he was okay and he said he was. I just kept asking over and over again.

"Bennett, I'm so sorry you got hurt. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, Momma. Me o-tay"

Now I know how it feels. And why it's so hard to let it go.

Bennett's first tire swing

Remember these? These were always my favorite swings at the playground. I remember in the third grade, playing on this swing with my two best friends. It was awesome because there were three of us and three spots to sit. We'd take turns spinning it around and then we'd jump on with the other two. We'd spin so fast (you know, you go faster if you lean in) that we'd almost hurl. Just when it was too fast, we'd slow down and laugh until we cried. Whenever I spot a tire swing, I think of those two friends. Wonder if it will be the same for Bennett?

Isn't childhood grand?

And then he did the craziest thing

My son, notorious for shaking his head violently when you take him into the bathroom to sit on the potty, just did the craziest thing. You see, I was in the kitchen making quesadillas for lunch (it is Cinco de Mayo, after all) when he walks in and says "Momma, me go potty on the potty." I didn't believe for one minute that he would actually go on the potty, since he'd done all but scrape the skin off my arms with his fingernails on previous occasions. Sure that this was some sort of plot to get under my skin and keep me from finishing my task, I gave him a test.

"Bennett, do you need to go pee pee or poo poo?"
"Poo Poo"

What do I do? Here I am, skillet all hot and cheese all melty. Quickly, I wrangle Morgan into the equation and give her a crash course in flipping a tortilla over and checking for burning and then take Bennett into the bathroom. I remove his clothes and his diaper, scramble to locate the potty seat we've tucked far away. Okay, here goes nothing. This is the point where he normally looks at me with his baby blues and screams "NO!" at me. Except today? He did the craziest thing. He sat on the potty. Yeah.

So, then I see his little boy parts poking up and I explain to him that he needs to point it down. I show him how. His face lights up when he's been given permission to touch it. He grabs it. I try to explain to him that if he pees, he can't have his hand over it. To just take one finger and point it down. He does this and I give the appropriate level of praise and then I wait. Hmmm. Quesadillas are surely going to be burned in the kitchen. Thinking quickly, I grab a book and ask him to look through it while I go check on things in the kitchen. Quickly thinking of what I can bribe him with, I remember we have some cookies left over from the batch that Lance baked and I tell him that if he does go potty in the potty, he can have a cookie when he's done!

Back in the kitchen, Morgan is too afraid to flip the quesadilla, so I ask her to trade with me and to go oversee the potty situation. I give her two simple instructions. First, do NOT let him get up without me being in there. And second, but most important, is to be VERY supportive. Tell him how proud you are of him sitting there and if he does actually go, to let me know.

Minutes later, the unthinkable happens. That's right. HE POOPED ON THE POTTY. Word came from Morgan, "Mom!! He went!!" Flipping the quesadilla over for the last time, I throw the spatula down on the counter and race to the bathroom where he's sitting there with a big smile on his face and a big turd in the potty. Wow. Crazy. Yes, he did something crazy and now it was my turn. I immediately bust out the best potty dance you've ever seen. Morgan joins in.

"Poo poo on the potty! Poo poo on the potty! Bennett went....Poo poo on the potty! YAY!"

Big smiles, I wipe him up and get him off the potty. THANK GOD I have held onto the pull ups from back in the day. I have yet another thing to reward him with. "Bennett, I'm so proud of you! Because not only did you go potty in the potty, but you also told me that you had to go before you went! Great job! Because of that, you get to wear big boy diapers!!" I bust out the old pull ups and choose Woody and Buzz Lightyear over the Disney Princesses, we all get cleaned up and go into the kitchen to eat lunch.

Bennett got to eat his cookie BEFORE lunch. Ooooooohhhhh! Yep, there was crazy going on at our house today!

Another day in the kitchen

This week is Teacher Appreciation week and my friend Melissa (who is a teacher) gave me some advice on what was her favorite thing parents did for her class when she was teaching. She told me about a time that they all made dinner for her for a week and delivered it to her home. She said it was so nice to not have to worry about cooking and it was fun to see them outside of school. I thought this was a great idea! I'm always cooking a meal for someone who needs it because they just had a baby or are sick (or have family members who are sick), but never for someone just a sign of appreciation. I sent an email out to the parents in Morgan's classroom and we've arranged for Morgan's teacher to receive breakfast at school every morning and to have dinner delivered each night.

I signed up for the first night, and it was a tricky one because Morgan's teacher's daughters both had softball games in the evening. So, I planned to do pulled pork, oven fries and tomato-cucumber salad to bring to them at the ball park. Lance had even baked cranberry walnut chocolate chip cookies for them! I thought it would be fun to see the girls play, to give Trish an opportunity to show off how much she's adored, and it would be nice for them to eat dinner before they were starved after the games were over. I loaded up the food, some plates, napkins, utensils and condiments into my bags and Morgan and I took off to deliver the meal. Trish loved it and I couldn't have been happier to see the big grin on her face as she sat there eating pulled pork while we all watched her girls play softball!

Besides getting that stuff prepped today, I also took advantage of some of the chicken meat I had from the roasted chicken I made for dinner last night to come up with a new lunch time creation. Mango Chicken Salad Lettuce Wraps. Basically, it was the roasted chicken, some celery, mango, salt, poppy seeds, and mayonnaise. I mixed up the salad and served them on romaine lettuce leaves. They were good, but needed a little sweetness added (finally added some Splenda) and maybe a little kick next time.

Honoring mothers!

This morning was the annual mothers day brunch for the moms club. Unlike the past few years, I did absolutely nothing to contribute to this brunch. I felt a little guilty, having not participated in the preparation, but it was nice to just go and enjoy it! Sure, I had to get up and say some things and help hand out the raffle prizes, but that was just a small part of the overall event and the event went off without a hitch!

We tried a new venue this year since our previous spot closed down. We went with a place this is still developing, trying to get in on something good from the beginning and it totally paid off. We agreed to hold our brunch at The Callippee Preserve Golf Club vista dining area, overlooking the golf course. We had the entire covered patio (with heaters) to ourselves and even though it was raining, everyone kept commenting on how nice it was to have it outside with the fresh air. The decorations were fabulous, as a couple of the board members had taken time to plant fresh flowers as place settings and there were large potted hydrangeas in the center of the tables. There were little goody bags of chocolates, an envelope with donations for a free sitting fee at a local photographer, free bowling, etc., and wrapped up Bay Area Mama books for everyone! It was definitely a sight! The food was outstanding, the champagne flowed, as did the laughter and chatter.


Many of the board members solicited donations from local businesses for raffle prizes. I had done this on previous occasions, and pretty much refused to do it this year. :) That didn't stop the dedicated board members, however! We had everything from gift certificates for Dinners Galore, a tea room, bowling, quilting, scrapbooking and stamping, a chocolate store, and a spa to candles and kitchen gadgets as well as raffling off the centerpieces. Everyone walked away with something; it was fabulous!

It was wonderful to sit and talk to these women for as long as we liked. We were there from 11am until 2pm and we didn't have to worry about children running off or cutting up food. We just had to sit, eat, drink and relax. What a way to honor mothers!

Spring tease

When we planned the May Supper Club (our title for the monthly dinner get together we have with the Alexanders) back in April, I know we both had high hopes that the weather would be nice enough that we could start eating outdoors and watch the kids romp around in the backyard. And maybe, if by some crazy miracle, May 2nd would have come a couple of weeks ago, we could have. But, unfortunately it's been rainy. And a little chilly. And all together un-summer like. It's not fair! One minute we have gorgeous weather and the next it's rainy. And it's not like we get to pick what day we are going to get what.

I know I must sounds like a brat. Or at the very least, a weather snob. And the truth is, I have become just that. I guess that's what living in California will do for you. The weather is somewhat predictable, especially over the past couple of years, and we have so much sunny weather, that a few rainy days really get us down. I grew up in Florida and went to school in Alabama. I know humidity. Out here in glorious California, there's usually NO SUCH THING. I adore it! Except for right now. All kinds of humidity. Also? In the summers in California? It doesn't rain. You read that right. Like never. Okay, maybe not never, but really hardly ever. So you can plan things to be outside and count on the fact that it's not going to rain. Like, when I got married outside in July of 1999. My mom wanted to know what my backup plan was. I tried my best to explain to her that I wouldn't need a backup plan, because it soooo wasn't going to rain on July 10th! Of course, that held true, but what I didn't factor in was that out of the blue, it was like in the high 90's. In the south bay, which means that if I had lived in Livermore at the time, it would have broken the 100's easily. That's the other thing. If it's in the 100's in Livermore, you can easily drive 45 minutes and be in the city or on the coast, where it will be at least 30 to 40 degrees cooler. Yep, we live quite the charmed life out here. Guess that's what the property taxes are all about, huh?

Well, we had a great time with the Alexanders, despite the rain. We had spaghetti and the kids all played really nicely together so the adults actually had time to converse. Love me some Supper Club! :)

80's sleepovers are fun!

My friend Cindy hosted a party tonight where we all came in our pajamas, brought pillows and ate junk food while we watched the movie Grease. Grease has always been one of my favorite movies, so I was very excited about this fun time, hanging out with the girls.

I decided to really get into it and channeled 1985. I teased my hair and put a scrunchy in it. I pasted on some blue eyeshadow. I found my retainers and shoved them in my mouth. I even stopped and bought some Bartles & James and then I headed over to Cindy's. It was loads of fun! I even won a Grease trivia game and won a HUGE chocolate bar and a People magazine.

Looking forward to the next one - Grease 2 party! :)