One foot in front of the other....

You ever have a day when you just feel "blah"? I've been having a lot of those lately, but today was the worst yet. I'm tired and hot and crampy (no, spell checker, I didn't mean CRAPPY, I meant CRAMPY and if you were written by a woman, you would understand!) and I just really found it hard to get out of bed, much less go about my day and my responsibilities. But, seeing as how Morgan doesn't yet have her driver's license, I had to get up and drive her to school. And since I was driving her to school, I figured I may as well swing by the gym. At least that way I can be assured of a shower. And since I'm going to be showered, I may as well make that trip to Target I've been meaning to make. Then we've got that park play date in the afternoon, so I'll need to come home and pack lunches for that. THEN...then I'll be able to rest again.

And believe it or not, when I finished my class at the gym I felt a little better. When I got the stuff I needed (and some that I didn't!) at Target, I felt even better. Heck, by the time I picked Morgan up from school, I was nearly back to okay. Then I was able to come home and take a nap after our play date and that was just heavenly.

One foot in front of the other. Some days, that's the only way to do it.

Mr. Pickles

There is a restaurant in town, right on the corner of a busy intersection that has seen at least five turnovers since we've lived here. For some reason, whatever was there has not done very well. It's past lives include things like sushi and sandwiches and just when an owner would get settled in, pretty soon you'd see a "For Sale" sign in the window. It's baffled Lance and I since we moved here.

Except the current tenant is an extraordinary entrepreneur. Sure, they've moved in with the usual lunch fare, but this time they have their secret weapon.

A giant, dancing pickle.

I know....what? A giant dancing pickle? Yes, that is correct. It's become the thing my children look forward to when we drive by. If he's out there dancing, they are crazy waving at him and pointing him out. I'm pretty sure they must know me by my car and my kids. Because they look like fools every time we drive by. And with this particular location, it's quite often.

I kid you not, we will be down the street, driving towards the restaurant and they are both straining to catch sight of the chef's hat he wears. Oh, we've had many different conversations centered on Mr. Pickles. Where is he in the mornings when he's not out? He's sleeping. Why does he wear a hat? He's a chef at the restaurant. How does he see out? Do you think he eats pickles?

EVEN IF HE'S NOT THERE, we go through the same stuff. Bennett will inform me (EVERY TIME) that he's not there because he's sleeping so that he can wave to him.

Even though I never visited any of the other establishments that called this particular location home, we WILL be going to Mr. Pickles. Because, really? How can I not. It's practically Disneyland.

Nice work, Mr. Pickles. Sheer genius!

My longest nap EVER!

Today, after working non-stop in Morgan's class this morning, I was actually able to take a nice long nap. We are talking about HOURS. How refreshing!

Today was the day that we made the scarecrow for the class' fall festival next week. We made it to look like their teacher and the kids all had a blast. But, we were short a parent at the centers today and it was just crazy in there! All the kids were really excited about the scarecrow, and it's Friday and they were just CRAZY! So, you'll understand why I came home and crashed. Afterwards, I felt so much better!

As luck would have it, the steaks I took out of the freezer this morning for dinner tonight weren't quite thawed in time. So, we ended up getting take out from a local Italian restaurant for dinner. So I didn't even have to cook! Then, Lance and I took off to see Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist, which I thought was really cute and am now wanting the soundtrack for my birthday!

Gee, this must be the most boring post ever. Guess that's what happens when things are busy but good. :)

I did something totally stupid today

I closed my right hand pointer finger up in my jogging stroller as I was getting it out of the car for our walk this morning. My jogging stroller folds in half, and where it goes together, yeah...that's where my finger was. Only the jogging stroller was not folded in half. It was all one piece, including my finger. I panicked and called for my mom to come help me. I directed her to push down on the two buttons on either side of the stroller, which she does, but it's not working. I finally realize it's because I normally PULL UP. So, finally I get my finger out and it's flat. Literally flat.

And then I get all light headed and nauseous. I guess that's my body telling me it didn't care for the pain too much.

I was able to sit down and gather myself and then still managed to walk almost 3 miles, go to Bennett's playgroup, and then do Daisies (Girl Scouts) with Morgan. Yeah, I'm tough. :)

The funny thing was that when I was telling Morgan about it after school, my mom asked her if she thought I learned a lesson today. To which Morgan replies, "no" and proceeds to tell my mom that I'll likely to do it again.

Wish I could say she was wrong.

I guess that's why I'm made tough. :)

Note to self

Since you now have a dedicated locker at the gym, how about you just go ahead and leave a pair of underwear there. Because obviously packing your bag at night when you're already dead tired is not getting the job done. I've had to go commando one too many times over the past few weeks. Normally not such a big deal, as I can just run home and get the missing garment, but today we had Terrific Toddlers right after.

See, my planning and stuff is really just my own idiot-proofing. :)

Just ask the expert

Apparently I'm the expert on not only comfort letters, but also on circumcisions. Because in addition to the 2-3 hits a day on comfort letters, I'm now getting 2-3 hits a day from people googling for information on circumcisions. On, specifically yesterday, "beautiful circumcision". Apparently I'm not the only inappropriate person out there.

"You did a wonderful job on my son's circumcision!"

Yes. Those words actually came out of my mouth tonight. At a child's first birthday party, nonetheless. People, you can dress me up, but you can't take me out.

The funny thing is, I was looking at this woman and thinking that she looked awfully familiar. I was thinking maybe she was a news anchor or something, just without all the makeup. I knew something was missing - I just didn't realize it was the whole lab coat thing. It was then that the hostess said something to her eldest son about the doctor. And then it hit me! She is the one that did Bennett's circumcision. And before I knew it, I blurted it out! "Oh, I thought I recognized you!" Followed by several statements about my son's circumcision. And what a nice job she did. And how apparently she does the best ones. Because that's what I was told over and over at the hospital. Inappropriate much?

Coming out of the jumpy house, all red-faced, sweaty and smiling is my little walking beautiful circumcision. I figured asking her to take a look at it, or showing it off to the crowd of people that had to endure my bragging was crossing some sort of boundary that I really didn't need to even be thinking about.

On the way home, Lance asked me if I thought she had been invited because she was a family friend, or if it was because she did the birthday boy's circumcision. I told him I didn't know. He said, "Now I'm feeling bad that we didn't invite her to Bennett's first birthday party. Maybe I should get in touch with the one that did mine."

We are such the pair, aren't we?

I could get used to seeing my name up there..

http://www.tsgnet.com/pres.php?id=357563&altf=Qbjhf&altl=Lvfnqfm

Thanks, Lara, for your vote of confidence! :)

What's balances it all

Things I'm not tired of:

• chunky little thighs
• a little girl who thinks I'm the whole world
• dimples on a smiling face
• giggles
• purposeful acts of kindness to others
• having a helper
• scrunched up nose when he smiles
• a husband who will go out and get me coffee at 7am when we have NO COFFEE in the house (imagine the ramifications!!)
  
• a husband who will also go buy a muffin when I can't manage to bake any
• Eskimo kisses
• butterfly kisses
• hugs
• "I love you"
• watching Bennett point out the brown bear, red bird, yellow duck, blue horse, green frog, purple cat, white dog, black sheep, goldfish, teacher and children in Brown Bear
• listening to Morgan talk about school
• having Morgan tell me that Ms. Abby (music teacher) has a "BEAUTIFUL voice!" and show me a steady beat
• watching Bennett's vocabulary explode
• seeing the kids play together
• seeing the kids hugging and kissing each other
• nap time
• being able to go to the gym and workout. alone.
• rocking my son who will soon not want to sit still long enough for that
• reading with Morgan and watching her love of literature grow
• not going to work outside the home
• having the opportunity to do fun stuff with the kids EVERY day
• The hours between 10 and noon
• hanging out with my husband in the evenings
• hanging out with my friends
• stubby little fingers and toes
• tickling my kids
• belly laughs
• being silly

Things I'm tired of

I'm cranky, so bear with me.

My gripes, in no particular order. Tired of...

• spilling coffee on myself
• being hit, targeted for flying objects or yelled at by my 1 1/2 year old tyrant of a son (can we say rage issues?)
• cleaning up crumbs and food off the kitchen floor
• trying to find time to fit in everything I want to do
• having particular parks and places NOT in the maps on my GPS unit
• being late to outings
• unknowingly letting the dog out when a cat is in the backyard (she tears off and generally scares the crap out of all of us)
• having my daughter purposefully take toys away from her brother
• having my son hitting, throwing things at, or yelling at his sister for taking toys away from him
• not being able to go to the bathroom without SOMEONE standing outside the door either pounding on it, yelling MOMMA MOMMA MOMMA, or crying
• washing out sippy cups
• cleaning up after meals
• having an ungrateful daughter who was all "oh man!" when after asked, I told her that no I didn't have lunch out and waiting for her after school -- SUE ME
• not being able to sit down and eat my lunch in peace because (1) someone is talking incessantly, (2) someone is throwing food, (3) someone needs more of this or less of that, or (4) someone needs help with something
• getting up early to be prepared for the kids to get up early -- this is just exhausting!
• gaining weight when it's a particular time of month
• not being able to eat anything I want
• not having a date night with my husband
• changing poopy diapers
• packing and unpacking the car
• loading up and unloading the stroller
• schlepping around a crap load of stuff from park to park because YOU NEVER KNOW what the kids *might* want to play with
• cleaning up food and crumbs from car seats and the car floor
• having balls and sippy cups thrown at me WHILE I'M DRIVING
• the non-stop noise
• the too-short naps
• the time between 4pm and 7pm

Yep, it's just one of those days.

Open letter to woman I've successfully avoided for five years

Dear Person,

You used to be a substitute in the bunko group. I find you to be....odd. We don't have much in common and I found myself avoiding talking to you unless forced to during bunko (like at the same table). Then you showed up at couples bunko and I was all "not this too!". I saw you at the gym. We've been in some classes together, but it's time for working out, not chit chatting.

Or at least that's what I thought. Until today. When you cornered me during class on the track to tell me about you going into early menopause. Because that's just what I had hoped to discuss with you today. Thank goodness for the instructor, who came along and encouraged me to go faster, so I had to speed by you. What can I say? She told me to!!

Then, when we got back to the classroom? You so rudely TALKED through the rest of the workout. Like, everyone else is all "oooouuccchhh" during the abs work and you're back there half-heartedly doing the work and talking someone else's ear off.

Will I need to figure out your schedule at the gym to avoid future conversations? Perhaps. I'm there to work out. Not to hear about your night sweats.

Things I may have done wrong tonight

1. I took some one's advice on allrecipes.com to make the Sweet and Nutty Moroccan Couscous with the Onion-Dijon Crusted Catfish. They were both good, by themselves, but did not pair well together. If I'd thought about it, I could have figured that one out. Plus, the couscous? SUPER high in calories and fat. I had about a tablespoon of it after all that work. :)

2. I let the kids play outside while I was preparing dinner since Bennett had barely any nap and Morgan took so long of a nap that I couldn't make it to the gym. When they were done, and dinner was nearly ready, Bennett was a MESS! Chalk and dirt and sand and water ALL OVER HIM. And here I am in the middle of dinner. Luckily, Lance came home a little early and was able to assist in a pre-dinner bath.

3. Just as we are sitting down to eat, our doorbell rings and then is followed by three loud bangs on our door. Nobody does that unless it's an emergency, right? So, I'm a little nervous when I answer the door and I see this KID, standing at least ten feet away from me. So, he banged on the door and then took off to put some distance between us?? I took one look at him, knew he was selling something, and said, "No thanks. It's dinner time". "What do you mean?" he asked. I repeated myself and then said "you're selling something, right?". He responded with a "yeah sort of" and I repeated myself, "NO, it's dinner time". Apparently this upset the guy, because he mumbled something under his breath as I was closing the door. I sat down at the kitchen table and then thought for sure I heard something out front. I went back to the door and saw where he'd thrown his water bottle on the ground and left it! Oh hells no!

I took off, water bottle in hand, to do justice for all us proud homeowners across this great nation of ours. I heard him down the street, two doors down. I walked up and very loudly said, "You left your trash in my yard". He said, politely in front of the person he was trying to sell to, "Oh, thank you" and then came over to get it from me. When he got up close to me, he mumbled under his breath that I could have just left it there. Oh no you didn't! So, I VERY loudly said back, "I don't come to YOUR house and leave MY trash", to which he responded that it was okay because he lives in the ghetto. And there's already trash everywhere in the ghetto.

And now I'm sitting here thinking that he's probably going to do something to my house now. Not so smart, Paige.

Quick rant

I'm looking for Halloween costumes and have a couple of themes in mind for full-family fun.

Buuut.
BUT.

I cannot, for the life of me, find SERIOUS wholesome costumes for adult women. Noooo! It's gotta be sexy this or flirty that. And while Lance is all "yyyeeeahhh!", somehow I just don't think the school or other various CHILDREN'S functions would approve.

/rant

One word

Can you describe me in one word? Try to do so in a comment, and I will respond to your comment with a one word description of you. :)

Two reasons I love my husband

1. He took Morgan to school this morning, thus resolving my conflict over when/where/what to feed Bennett.

2. I had to admit I was wrong about something this morning and when he didn't throw it in my face, I said, "What no comment about me being wrong?". He said, "No comment necessary. I'm expecting the entire universe to stop." See, he thinks the world revolves around ME. Ha! :)

I'm enjoying my non-driving-drinking-coffee-from-a-coffee-mug-instead-of-a-travel-mug-morning. Bennett woke up on his own accord and is now dressed and happily eating pancakes and pears. I have unloaded the dishwasher and have no worries about making it to our play date on time.

We didn't do leftovers last night, so we'll do them tonight and I'll hit the 5pm athletic challenge class at the club. I love it when things work out.

The 80s called. They want their STEP back.

The class I got everyone up and out of the house for was supposed to be Cardio and Core with my all-time favorite instructor, Jenn. So, imagine my surprise when I walk into the classroom to see a seemingly washed up 80s STEP aerobics instructor there. What??

She had several circuits set up -- STEPs, BOZU's and a rope ladder laid out on the ground. Looked interesting. I'm already here. The time slot works for me. I'll give it a shot.

Except it was such an 80s flashback. Remember back in the 80s when STEP aerobics was the hottest ticket in town?? I'm sure this instructor was also the hottest ticket in town. Back then. Roughly 20+ years ago. As it stands today, in 2008, if I want to TAKE a STEP class, I'll go to one. You know the one? The one they have a week. Because, like....uh....nobody really does STEP anymore. Sure, you use the STEP to do other exercises. But using the STEP and doing STEP; two different things. She had us doing all these crazy combinations all over and around the STEP. There were even arm movements. Up-up, down-down, Both up, both down and cross in front (twice). And if this weren't bad enough, she didn't give you any warning when she was switching movements. It was really like she thought everyone must do these steps every day. It's like she walked out of August 18, 1982 straight into August 19, 2008. I seriously felt like I was being PUNKED. Even the music!! Oh the music!! It wasn't even the GOOD 80s music. Oh it was soooo bad. The saving grace was that at least she wasn't wearing some crazy 80s lycra unitard or something.

I was working up a good sweat, so I stayed for half the class. But after that, and with some more crazy straddle, hop, shimmy moves over the STEP, I decided I'd ditch it. This is TOTALLY against my being. I NEVER do something like that. That should give you some indication of how bizarre this class was. I need to figure out who that instructor was. I want to make sure I never walk into her class again!

Today's Humor

So, the last entry was a bit of a downer, I realize, so here's today's bits of humor.

* As I was pulling a load of laundry from the dryer, a NECTARINE SEED came flying out. Serioulsy?? Where do they get these things??

* I was going to the bathroom this afternoon, and as all moms know, you can't do that alone. Bennett is currently curious about the potty, so he always says "poppy" whenever I'm going to the bathroom. Only, it's a certain time of the month, so he was REALLY curious today. And when I was done and washing my hands, I looked back and he was all bent over the trash can, points and declares "nasty", which is his word for trash. Only this time, I had to believe he was right on.

* I had to stop by the doctor's office to pick up some paperwork for Morgan to start school. When we got there, I got Bennett out of his car seat and then came around to help Morgan get out of the car. She was taking longer than normal, so I said "C'mon Morgan!" and the little parrot I was carrying in my arm screams "C'MOOOOON!" Gosh, I hope *I* don't sound like that. Haha!

* On the way to Coscto, Morgan says to me, "Mom, did you see that girl at soccer hit me?", to which I replied that I had not. She told me what happened and I asked her if one of the coaches saw what happened. She said, "No, but I think the girl's Mom had put her eye on her". WHATEVER THAT MEANS!

* While at Costco this afternoon, the kids were snacking on goldfish. I stepped away from the cart for one second and suddenly they dropped the container and there were probably about a dozen or so goldfish on the floor. I look over and see Bennett puckering his fish like a fish. This is the "sound" that fish make (that's what Grandma taught him this summer) and he was just sitting up in the cart, making fishy sounds and pointing to the mess.

* Lastly, I find it very humorous that I can actually bribe my children to act remotely civil using FRUIT. I know! They are so deprived of the really good stuff in life, that they will actually just sit there in the buggy while I shop, just for a chance that I might buy some CHERRIES! My poor deprived children.

Number 12 - just for good measure

12. I just noticed that Firefox is displaying the pictures from my previous blog entry on top of each other. IE does not. I had to edit the entry only about 5,327 times and finally did it in IE since Firefox wouldn't let me drag the picture above where the box was in Blogger. IE will let me do that, but won't let me Undo when something goes awry. Frickity frack. Well, you know what? If you want to see the pictures without them being on top of each other, you're gonna have to suck it up and use IE. So there, Internet! ;)

Less than blissful

I'm not feeling the domestic bliss today. It's really just a series of minor irritations, but I'm just not feeling it. I know, I know. You are saying to yourself, "But she's always so cheerful and upbeat and always LOVES being around those two kids of hers, how can this be?" *yeah right* But trust me, if given the option TODAY, I just might opt to go back to work, where I fondly recall having a lunch hour. Yes, an HOUR. Devoted entirely to ME and EATING. I also recall being able to have a discussion on the phone without someone nagging me to play with them or screaming at me that they want more water. Yeah, I know most of the people who I worked with were children in their own right; but at least I could look at them, tell them they needed to figure it out, and not worry about whether or not they would cry or hit each other. (most of the time).

Here are just a few of the reasons why I'm feeling less than blissful today.

1. After dinner last night, I still had not gotten any exercise in and so instead of cleaning the kitchen, I went for a run. I came home and Lance had cleaned up the kitchen EXCEPT the pots and pans that needed to be washed by hand. I was actually surprised to find that the food wasn't just sitting out, since I didn't put it away myself, so I was totally prepared to wash those dishes. Except that when I thanked him for cleaning up the kitchen, he told me that he hadn't washed the pots and pans, but he would. How nice of him! Except as of this morning, they were not washed. Not even soaked. And I cooked pan seared steaks last night - and the whole "pan-searing" can do quite a number on a pan. So, I got to get up and immediately start washing dishes this morning. Lucky me! Oh, and we'll just tack this one on to here as well. I'm not sure how he didn't notice when he was cleaning up the kitchen last night, but the dishwasher was totally full when I got up this morning. And totally dirty. It had not been run. I know, it's so unbelievable that someone could actually FILL a dishwasher to the BRIM and not run it, but it happened to me. I swear it! So, now I have to run it and wait for it to be done and dry before I can put any dirty dishes in there. Yeah, not happy about this.

2. I was informed last night that we were "running low on dog food". So, I put it on my shopping list and thought that was that. Except this morning? Barely half a bowl of food for the dog. Now, I guess I should have some sort of "sense" for when we are running low, but honestly this is not MY thing. This is Lance's thing. So, the shopping trip got bumped up in priority since the poor dog can't starve. And who knows how much Bennett is going to feed her.

3. In another Best-Mother-Award moment, I called this morning to see about taking Morgan back in for her TB test. You see, I totally FORGOT to go back in the 2-3 days after the first test to have the test read. Yeah, I know. I suck. I had called when I realized, but it was too late to be read and they told me to call back another day to see about doing a drop-in for her TB test. So, I thought this morning would be perfect since it's right on the way to Morgan's soccer practice. So I call to see about the drop-in appointment and they tell me that she can't have the test performed again until SIX WEEKS after her previous vaccinations. What??? I'm totally thrown off by this, so I ask to speak to a nurse and they have to take a message. When she does get around to returning my call, she has to explain to me (several times, slowly so that I understand, and probably answering too many of my questions) why she can't have the TB test done now. The upside is that they had already prepared the paperwork and so it looks like she has complied with all the necessary vaccinations for kindergarten. Plus, they don't view her as a "high risk" person for TB. While I thank them for trying to work with me here and realize that I am ultimately to blame for this entire situation, I'm also a person who typically plays by the rules, so this really bothers me. I ask for the date that I can bring her back in and am told by the nurse that it's 4 weeks after her previous vaccination, so Aug 16. So, I can still have this done before she starts school, which is good. But this is all just another minor irritation to my not-so-blissful morning.

4. So, now with no TB test to go have done before soccer practice, I decide to go ahead and do my daily chores (laundry, cleaning out the diaper bag, my purse and wallet, cleaning the toaster, cleaning the bathroom mirrors and the computer screens). I actually break one of the mirror panels in our downstairs bathroom and can only think of seven years bad luck as I'm finishing the rest of my chores. As I'm doing this, Morgan pulls out Bennett's Mega Blocks and starts playing with them and then getting mad when he wants to play with them. I remind her that they *are* his, but that's neither here nor there to her. So, I go get *her* wooden blocks from the playroom for him to play with. I bet you can see where this is going. Now she wants NOTHING to do with his blocks and he only wants to throw her blocks at the wall, at her, at the TV, whatever. So, FIVE TIMEOUTS IN A ROW later, I'm counting down the minutes to leaving for soccer practice.

5. The phone rings and it's the people in charge of soccer and they're having to cancel soccer practice today because the coach is having car trouble. They will make up the session by adding another day to the end of the "season". Except that that is during school. She tells me that she's been hearing that a lot from the calls she's making this morning, so they might have to refund some of our money. Okay, whatever. And now we are here at home with no plans of leaving whatsoever.

6. Next up? Shopping. I decide that since I have the extra time and now have to go to the grocery store today, I will look at next week's ads to see if I should hold off on buying anything I was planning on buying until they are on sale. So, essentially all the planning I did on Sunday had to be redone. And as I'm doing this, I get a text message from the other co-director of the Moms club. She wants me to call her. Only a few people have RSVP'd that they will be at the board meeting. So, I call and unload on her all the issues I'm having right now with lack of participation of *different* people doing stuff for the club. I'm almost to the point where I just don't care anymore because I honestly cannot keep asking the SAME people to do the stuff that needs to be done. And I certainly don't want to have to do everything myself. As I'm on the phone with her, I walk outside into our courtyard for some privacy so I can speak freely. Except Morgan, with her ever so keen "Mom is on the phone" senses, follows me out there and stands, with the door cracked ever so slightly, trying to listen to what I'm saying. I'm doing all the hand motions for "GET YOUR ASS BACK INSIDE", but she acts like she doesn't know what I'm saying. I finally have to interrupt the person I'm talking to to ask her to get back inside. I told her that I came outside so I could talk on the phone in privacy. Want to know what she asks me? "Can I just play with the sand table?" The one that's outside? In the courtyard? Two feet from where I'm standing? Are you freaking serious??

7. Am I on number seven? I can't even keep count! We'll make that minor annoyance number seven.

8. So after getting off the phone, I finish up the grocery list and once the kids have been sufficiently "snacked", we head off to the store. The shopping trip itself is only your typical level of irritation - with Morgan jumping around from square to square at the store (note to self: see if we can't find a different store WITHOUT varying colored squares) and with Bennett yelling MAMA at the top of his lungs. I get to the dog food aisle and there's NO WAY I can get that size bag INTO the cart. You know why it needs to go INSIDE the cart?? Because there is no bottom rack on this cart. (I'm using the term cart since I am apparently the only person on the face of the planet that uses the word buggy for a shopping cart. I want you guys to understand me) SO GLAD I DECIDED I HAD TO SHOP TODAY FOR DOG FOOD!! But whatever. There was plenty of other things we needed, so it wasn't totally wasted.

9. They are running a promotion where for every $25 you spend, you get something for free. I spent $75, so I got some free bread, lunch meat and CINNAMON ROLLS. Like freshly baked cinnamon rolls. Cream cheese or vanilla, the cashier wants to know. Cream cheese, of course. This is irritation number nine. I don't NEED those freaking cinnamon rolls staring me down. But how can I turn them down?? They were FREE! I know you aren't going to believe me, but they actually called my name in the car on the way home. I know I heard it.

10. Staying strong, I have my EVERY DAY lunch of light bread, with fat free mayo, and 2% cheese and 98% fat free lunch meat (with pickles!), a side of baby carrots and 1 oz of Ruffles Light chips. And the kids got to eat a cinnamon roll after their lunch. Only they didn't finish it. So there was about 1/4 of a cinnamon roll left on Morgan's plate. And then, it practically DARED me to eat it. I don't know about you, but I'm always up for a dare. So, I ate it. And you know what?? It sucked!! It was dry and not at all delicious. It soooo wasn't worth putting those calories in my body.

11. Even though I got all my chores done this morning, know what I had to spend the first part of nap time doing? Unloading the freaking dishwasher, so I could put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. Yeah, not happy about this.

And they day isn't even half over. What other blissful things await me today?? I can hardly wait to find out!

It's time to relax, damnit!

I recognize that I'm a "talker". I guess you could say I come from a long line of "talkers", and that there will be many more generations of "talkers" to come (as evidenced by the five year old, and maybe even the one year old, too). I've also been known to wake up in the middle of the night, or early morning and not be able to go back to sleep because my mind is awake and I can't quiet it.

You know what? It's hard being a talker! I talk so much that when there's nobody else to talk to, I talk to MYSELF. And that's a tad bit inconvenient when you are trying desperately to relax and let your mind GO. Have you ever done a stream of consciousness type of writing? Witness my experience at the spa this morning.

I get there a tad early, get in my robe and hang out in the lobby area, sipping water and reading my book. Pretty soon, a petite woman named Amanda comes to get me and lets me know that she's going to be my esthetician for the day. She lays out the day's agenda for me. Brow wax, salt glow and then a one hour deep Swedish massage. Sounds decadent!

We start the session off with some small talk, but immediately start Mom talk and I discover that she is actually by new BFF. Once she's managed to tame my brows, we move to another room where I'm asked to put on those famous gauze "underwear" and lay on the table. I do as I'm told, and look forward to the return of my new favorite esthetician. We continue our conversation and I'm so wrapped up in it, that I hardly realize that I'm actually getting a spa treatment and the whole point is to unwind. We're chatting away and then she says, "You are going to LOVE your massage today. I've heard he's really great. I've never actually had a massage from him before....because he's male....and he's cute TOO. I just can't do that. He told me he has seen a million butts before, but there's something about working with him also."

Insert panicky mind traffic.

That's right! I'm having a GUY massage therapist. I forgot!
He's cute? How cute?
A million butts?
He's going to SEE my BUTT?
I'm not wearing any makeup.
Who cares about makeup, what about the varicose veins?
Will I have time between treatments to at least go dry my hair?
What, am I going to DATE this guy?? Who cares. Really.

And that's what I settle on. Who cares really.

Until the salt glow was finished and I headed out to use the restroom and look in the mirror; seriously, I look OLD!

Who cares really.

Refill my water, add a slice of orange and then go sit in the sauna with my book.
I hope he can find me in here.
How will I know if it's him looking for me.
She said he was cute.
How cute?

WHO CARES REALLY?

Since I wasn't getting much reading done, I leave the sauna and go refill my water again and then a guy comes up to me and asks me if I'm Paige. And seriously? He wasn't even that good looking. I mean, he was no Woody Allen, but I don't think I'd classify him as good looking, per se. Breathing a sigh of relief, I follow him to the massage room. He asks me a few questions about areas to focus on and then leaves me to drop the robe and get on the table. A moment later, he knocks, comes back in when I respond and starts the massage.

Ahh, a guy. Guys don't like to talk. Time for me to relax. Let all the thoughts leave my mind. Ahhh.
What is that noise? Is he clanking CANDY in his mouth?

*crunch....crunch....crunch*

Is he CHEWING candy? Well, that's a little distracting. (as opposed to DISSECTING IT)

*heavy breathing*

Okay, *almost* good looking man, what is the heavy breathing about? Is chomping on that candy hard work?
Are you working that hard on the massage? It feels good and all, but that's pretty loud breathing.
Maybe he's trying to FLIRT with me?? Nahh. They aren't allowed to do that. Even though, I'm totally sure he wants to. Varicose veins and all.
Just tune it out. It's time to relax. Let the thoughts go.
Relax.
Man, I'm hungry. Hope he didn't hear my stomach growl.
I ate a good breakfast - blueberries, 1/2 cup of yogurt, double fiber english muffin and four cups of coffee.
Four cups is a lot. Plus the water. Hope I don't have to pee anytime soon.
I really like the water with the slice of orange in it. I should do that at home.
Wonder what the kids are doing right now.
Hope Lance gets the present for the party wrapped and gets Morgan ready to go before I get home.
Hopefully I can just come home and veg out since it will be nap time and Lance is taking Morgan to the party.
Maybe I'll blog.
What will I blog about.
That reminds me about the book. Having a hard time nailing down the plot. Should work on that. Maybe when I get home.
I kind of want to write it from a male perspective, but I can't recall a single book that I've read that was written by a woman, but had a male's perspective.
Hmmm
Okay, this can wait until later. Now it's time to relax.
Relax.
Ouch, that knot is NOT coming out of my shoulder.
Wonder why I get such bad knots.
Am I holding Bennett the wrong way? I try to mix it up and hold him in both arms, but I usually just do the one arm, most of the time.
He's so heavy now. Gosh, he's grown so big.
I can't believe school starts in a month.
I need to take Morgan school clothes shopping. That will be so fun!
I should wait until August, though, to take advantage of the new month's budget.
Oh, time to roll over already? Gosh, this goes by fast.
Okay, roll over quickly and pull the covers of you so he can't catch a peek.
WAIT A SECOND. IS HE WEARING HEADPHONES??? Seriously??
Is that so wrong? I'd probably want to wear headphones if I were a CMT.
I wonder what he's listening to.
Would it be rude to ask? Like would he feel all called out on his lack of concentration on MOI??
Now that he's sitting right behind my head, I can kind of hear it.
I wonder if I could have heard it before. You know, when I was busy TALKING TO MYSELF.
Why do I do this? Why can't I turn it off?
He moved my hand out of the way, hope it's not getting in his way.
Also hope he doesn't rub up against me.
Eeeww.
I think I'm sticking with girls for massages from now on.
Way less complicated. At least they'll carry on a conversation with me.


And then I won't be stuck here trying to relax, but actually just talking to myself.