Ushering in Spring Break

Today was not only the last day of my parents' visit with us, but also happened to be the first day of Spring Break. Wanting to take full advantage, I planned a trip to the Lindsay Wildlife Museum this morning.

Before leaving for the museum, my mom and I hit the gym for a little exercise. Not really knowing what to do, we happened into a Step class. Now, Step is not normally my thing, but my mom seemed interested, so we gave it a shot. Except this was no normal step class where you are just up and down on the same step. Noooooo. This was what they call "Four Step". Basically, you do all the movements between four different steps. The instructor calls out which step to go to along with the movement. Not having taken a Step class before, there was a little bit of a learning curve to figure out what a basic right or shooter was, but I figured it out. Not only was this a good physical workout, but it was a good mental workout also. My mom and I both really enjoyed the class! After getting showers and heading home, we picked up my dad and we all headed to Walnut Creek to the wildlife museum.


The museum is pretty small, so we were able to see it all in just a couple of hours. The kids really enjoyed seeing all the birds and snakes, lizards and turtles. The highlights included watching the bobcat get fed and petting the bunny. But the big fun came after we left and went to JACK IN THE BOX for lunch. Because I've apparently never taken my kids there and that is equivalent to some sort of child deprivation. Morgan kept talking about how great it was to be eating there. LOL

After naps, the weather was nice enough to get the kids out to expend some energy before requesting that they sit nicely at a restaurant for dinner. So, my mom and I took them to a nearby park and they had fun. After, they were actually fairly good at dinner. Nice way to start off Spring break!

Happy Easter!

It's not very often that I'm able to enjoy a holiday at my house with my family. However, we were smart to have Bennett in April since his birthday is usually close to Easter (he was actually born on Easter the year he was born). That makes it a little more compelling for my east coast family to venture out this way on a holiday that they would traditionally be at their house. So, it was extra nice this morning to wake up with the kids and my parents and watch them discover the fun stuff the Easter Bunny had left for them as well as watching them hunt eggs. I think the Easter Bunny needs to find some new spots or get a little more creative next year because it went by far too quickly this year!


After all the morning fun, it was time to get ready for church. We had such a full load, that we ended up having to go to church in the minivan that my parents rented. The message was interesting, and also ironic since it also tapped into a lot of what Lance and I were discussing at dinner last night. Funny how God works, huh?

I heated a spiral cut ham, made homemade mashed potatoes, and asparagus for our dinner. Lance had even baked some really yummy walnut cranberry chocolate chip cookies yesterday that we were able to enjoy for dessert. It was a lovely meal, so nice to be with the ones you love on a day such as this.

Busy bees!

Today was a full but fun day! It started with my mom and I going to the gym and then Lance and my dad taking Morgan to Lowe's to build bird houses with their Build and Grow program. They all had a great time and while they were gone, my mom and I got ready to take Morgan shopping when she got back. I figured she was old enough to hang with us on a girls outing to lunch and shop!

We let her pick the lunching destination (Chili's, of course) and then after, we headed to Kohl's because I had gotten a 20% off coupon in the mail. Plus they had Early Bird specials that ended at 1. Here's what we learned.

1. While Morgan may be big enough for a casual shopping trip, she is not old enough to hang with the "oh my gosh, the sale ends in 20 minutes and we need her to try on all these clothes" mentality.
2. My mom and I make a great team when it comes to undressing and dressing Morgan in upwards of a dozen outfits in record time!
3. All the shirts they make these days are too tight.
4. It was completely worth it to rush through the shopping to get the 20% off!!

After shopping, we came home and I collapsed and then later, got ready for my second date with my hubby in as many days. We were going to go play bocce ball, but after last night's dinner and movie (expensive sushi & Sunshine Cleaners), we opted for something less expensive. Dinner at Tomatinos and another movie (Knowing)! Given the heavy topic last night, we kept it light and only discussed things like religion. ;-) But it was great to be able to have an uninterrupted, meaningful conversation with my husband. It was also quite ironic that we went and saw Knowing right after our conversation, because it was similar in topic.

It seems like I say it all the time and never do anything about it, but we really need to start doing regular date nights. I miss them!!

"This is it": The end of an era

When my parents planned their trip out to see us for Bennett's birthday and Easter, my mom made sure to let me know in advance to plan to have some date nights while they were here to babysit. This meant I had plenty of time to think about the date and what we might do and even to think about the things we would talk about. Because uninterrupted face-to-face time to talk without TV's or computers is pretty rare in my house. At the same time, my baby fever has been reaching a feverish pitch and so it was inevitable that our discussion at our first date night would center around that topic.

Never one to beat around the bush, I told Lance that I thought we needed to discuss it and that I understood if he wanted time to think about it (after all, I'd had over a month to think about what I wanted to say), but that we happened to have some uninterrupted time to discuss if he was ready. He agreed to discuss the topic of us having more kids and so it went.

The main thing I wanted to get across was that I knew that he wasn't leaning towards having more and that I definitely feel like I'm not done. That doesn't mean that I'm going to be having more kids, it just means that I need a certain amount of time to "get over it", if we decide we are done. When I married Lance, I knew he wanted two kids and he knew that I wanted three or four. And here we sit, with two happy, healthy children. One boy and one girl. Him feeling like we are so lucky to have the two we have and that it is plenty. Me agreeing that we are, in fact, extremely lucky and wanting to have more. In this situation, one person is not going to get their way. I have always somewhat mentally prepared myself to be the loser in this debate, as I would never dictate to him that we have to have more kids. I guess I was just hoping that this was another "house purchase in 2000", or "car purchase in 2002" or "first baby in 2003" types of discussions where all he needed was a gentle nudge to be shifted into the next thing. Except this is different. He doesn't feel the need to have more children. It's not a matter of when, it's a matter of need. And while I understand, because I don't feel it's a matter of need, it is a matter of desire to me. I was hoping his not feeling the need was different than his feeling the need not to. Make sense?

However mentally prepared I thought I was to be the loser, it didn't shield me from the sting and sadness I felt, immediately, when I thought about not having any more children. Thinking that the things that have already passed with Bennett are things that I will never experience again. There was a point, when Bennett was tiny and a terror (now he's a big terror), that I was positive that I would never want to do this again and I got rid of all my baby stuff. But then, he changed and things changed and I felt myself easing back into that idea of more kids. The older he gets, the more I have felt this way, so much so that I've let go of the mental awareness that comes with knowing "this is it". When I stopped nursing him, I mentally made note that it would be the last time. But there was always this voice in my head saying, "really?". Well, I guess I know the answer now. It was the last time.

I'm sad for the times I'll never have again. I'm sad for the times that I let go without saying goodbye. I'm sad for the times that I'm having now, in each moment that I think "this is it" and my heart breaks a little. I'm sad for the times in the future that we have yet to get to, that I will have to say "this is it" as I soak it in. I'm sad for the relationships that could have been. The brothers or sisters to be. I'm just sad.

I know that I'll be okay with all this eventually. I'm already trying to find the silver linings. As Bennett gets older, our world opens up to more possibilities -- the ones we were just beginning to taste as Morgan got older before Bennett was born. I look forward to not having to buy diapers or cut up food, or try to understand toddler-ese anymore. Or at least I think I will. Right now, I just feel like I could do it forever, just to experience MORE of this. This family I have. These kids I have. The relationships. More.

Oh well, farewell to the era of little babies. Hello to what comes next.

Spring is in the air

Well, sort of. We'll ignore the gloomy weather we've been having, and focus instead on the fun and cute stuff like the spring party we had in Morgan's class today. Unfortunately, her teacher missed it because she was out sick, but the kids still did pretty well with the sub. The party went on!

My mom was able to come into the classroom today since it was a party day and she watched Bennett in the classroom while I stepped up my efforts a little to help the substitute teacher out. But, she was able to see all the fun stuff the kids do and how the parties go (for the most part). At the end of the party, the kids hunted for their eggs. Each kid had eight eggs with their name on them and they had to find only the ones with their names. Unfortunately, there were a few girls who couldn't find all their eggs, but it was still fun for them to find all the places that the moms hid the eggs while they were at the library.

I took Morgan out of school a little early (right after the egg hunt) and we made it to church just in time for the noon Good Friday service. It was a great service, and I ended up sitting next to one of the girls from my table at the women's retreat. I can't tell you how nice it is to see people you know at a church that's so big!

After church, we came home and since my dad was busy watching The Masters on TV, I took that as my cue to go upstairs and take a good long nap. Which I did. Blissful sleep! Which is good since I have a date tonight with my hubby. Woohoo!

My mom and dad kick butt

First off, what other 61 year old woman do you know has the guts to join her daughter in a cardio kickboxing class? I know! She was a little hesitant, I have to admit, and so last night she insisted that I show her the moves. Even that didn't scare her off! She totally hung in for the whole class. Great job, mom!

Also? Guess who had a nice nap this afternoon? Moi. Know why? Because my mom and dad kick butt. Yep, they took care of the kids and I slept like a baby! :) And then, as if that wasn't enough, yesterday when we were at Costco, my Dad got these steaks the size of my head. Well, he grilled them tonight and they were delicious.

I could really get used to this life! I'm so lucky to have such great parents! Now if I could only convince them that the west coast is the best coast. :)

A fun day for Bennett

Today, in celebration of Bennett's second birthday, I hosted playgroup at our house and provided a smorgasbord of breakfast foods for toddlers and their mothers. I made the Cooking Light cheesy grits casserole (not so light), pancakes and bacon. The bacon was by far the biggest hit! :) Here's a picture of Bennett eating his breakfast (on his "It's My Birthday" special plate no less!) on his birthday.


Bennett pretty much ate the whole time. What else is new. But he did spend a little time playing with his friends. Before long, it was time to open some presents and then have cupcakes. He nearly burned his eyelashes off while blowing out the candles...this boy is going to give me a heart attack!


























After playgroup, I ran over to pick Morgan up from school and then the kids went down for a nap. My dad and I headed out to get Lance's new grill and to Costco for ground beef, since Bennett's request for his birthday dinner was cheeseburgers. Lance's old grill (over ten years old!) had died and unless we wanted pan-fried burgers, this is what needed to happen. My dad helped me negotiate a better deal, and we were home soon with a brand new grill. Burgers were grilled up, fries were baked and then it was time to eat as soon as Lance got home from work. When dinner was over, it was cupcake time again (this time Bennett learned to keep a safe distance between his upper lip and fire) and then present time again.

I'd say we have one very lucky and very happy two year old.

Two years

You are just two years old. So little, yet so big. You simultaneously desire your independence as well as being coddled. You are my boy.

I never knew how much you would mean to me. I never imagined how close I would feel to you or the intense love I would have for you. I mean, you're a boy. What do I know about boys? But I have come to know you quite a bit over the past two years. Here are the things I know so far.

• you never quit moving
• you don't hold a grudge
• you fall down and then you get right back up
• you like trucks and planes and boats and vehicles in general
• EVERYTHING is a ball and should be thrown
• you can climb like there's no tomorrow
• you love your momma, even when you are being disciplined
• you love your momma even more when you think it can get you a few minutes more before bed time :)
• you adore your big sister
• you don't need much sleep
• you are a comedian
• you are stubborn
• you have the cutest dimples. ever. and you use them. especially when you think you're getting in trouble
• you're going to become a great man!
• you are so very smart
• you are not shy
• you are talkative
• did I mention stubborn?
• you know how to melt my heart
• you are just sweet. sticky, gooey, sugary sweet.

When I found out I was having a boy, I didn't know what to do with you. Now, I can't imagine doing without you. You have ingrained yourself as a part of this family, secure in your role and our lives are so much fuller because of it. I love you so much, baby boy. More than I ever knew I would. I had no idea how much I needed a boy.

Waiting

I've never been a patient person. If I have to wait in a line that has more than two people in front of me, I'm mentally going through exit scenarios or alternative plans. Or better yet, if I'm waiting at a stop light and it turns green, the person in front of me just needs to GO. I mean, really, what are you waiting for?? So, you take someone like me, you add two offspring who are equally as patient and you mix in a little bit of missing Grandma and Grandpa and what you come up with is a group of people practically climbing the walls waiting for Grandma and Grandpa's arrival! Luckily Morgan had school to keep her busy, but there's no such thing for Bennett and I, so I opted for the cardio & core class at the tennis club to help keep me busy (and oh boy did it!). Their plane was to arrive at roughly 11ish, so by the time they got their bags and rental car and drove out here from SFO, we're looking at around 1, right? Enough time for me to get the kids home from picking up Morgan, to feed them lunch and then be ready when Grandma and Grandpa arrived. Except at 1pm? Grandma called to let me know they were just on their way in the rental car. It's bad enough when you're anticipating something and things get delayed as an adult. But kids get even more upset. I opted to go ahead and put Bennett down for his nap while Morgan and I waited for the grand arrival. We read books and tried to keep each other preoccupied, but every time we thought we heard a door, we went running to the front room to look through the window to see if it was them. FINALLY it was!

It's hard to live this far away from your family. It's hard to not see them on a day to day basis. But, imagine if I lived down the street. Would they ever get the grand reception that awaits them each and every time we see them? There's some up side to this waiting business.

A normal day

Because the next two weeks are going to be insane, I decided to make the most of the day today and try to have a nice, normal day. The weather cooperated, so I strapped Bennett in the jogging stroller and we headed out for a nice long walk. Half way point was a park, so we stopped and he played for a little bit, him insisting on swinging on the BIG SWING, before it was time to head back home.

Having exercised us both, I decided it was both appropriate and prudent to get some chores done, namely cleaning the bathrooms. After all, my parents are going to be here tomorrow! So, I set Bennett up with some toys and slip away for all of five minutes to have my lovely son not only find my cell phone and pick it up, but to actually call me from it. That's right. Imagine you're in the bathroom scrubbing away at the toilet and the phone rings. Hmm. Interesting ring. Never heard it before. Know why? BECAUSE IT'S MY RING. I picked up the phone and looked at the number displayed, correctly identifying it as my cell phone number. I hit the Talk button and said "hello" to have a half-cocked nearly two-year-old respond, "hey!". I came downstairs and he immediately put the phone down like he'd never even touched it. Okay, okay, I'm smarter than that. I pick up ALL ELECTRONICS that he could get into. Remotes. Cell phones. Home phones. Laptops. Nothing would escape my keen eye. I set him up with a TV show and some toys and go to finish the bathrooms. Ten minutes go by and I notice how very quiet it is. Hmmm. I go out into the living room and he's not there watching Thomas. Nope. Hmmm. I look in the playroom and he's sitting there, sucking on a JOLLY RANCHER!! He spit it out faster than the speed of light and again, pretended that I was the dumbest parent on the face of the planet.

Me: Bennett, what do you have?
Him: What?
Me: Do you have candy?
Him: (shaking head no)
Me: Bennett!!
Him: (grape jolly rancher drool dribbling down chin) Nooo!

So much for the clean bathrooms! Oh well, it was time to go get Morgan anyway. Then there was lunch and naps and before we knew it, it was time for Morgan's play date with the neighbor. He came over and all the kids played Wii Fit. It was great! You should see Morgan hula hoop! LOL Bennett tried to hang with the big kids, but nobody would let him on the board. Poor little guy. Good thing Grandma and Grandpa arrive tomorrow to spoil him silly.

Just another day at the homestead. Despite my little stinker, I loved every minute of it!

Refreshing blush

I could sit here and blog about all the greatness that is blush, but really, how superficial would that be? I will say about the yogurt that it is delicious, beyond measure, but really what I'm talking about here is meeting my girl, Melissa, at blush. After church, after lunch, after napping kids were put to bed. I got away by myself and I headed to blush to meet Melissa to catch up and to enjoy some yogurt together.

This is the same Melissa that I bonded with last weekend over old ladies and new experiences. Every time I see her, we have so much to say. There's never a dull moment or a lull in conversation. I'm not afraid to say anything to her and she's equally opened to me. She gives me a fresh perspective on my issues and fills me in on what's going on with her. Today, she was like a breath of fresh air for me. I've been going through some tough stuff with a friend of mine and she really helped me to come out of my funk. I need this because this week is going to be crazy. My parents are coming in town, we have Bennett's birthday, followed by Spring parties and Easter Sunday and spring break. The crazies continue. So, you can see how it was not only nice to get away. But even nicer to go somewhere like blush with a friend like Melissa and get recharged. I hope it was as refreshing for her as it was for me. Now we just need to plan to do this more often. :)

Fun times continue

This time last year, we were partaking in our annual tradition with our family friends where we decorate cookies and dye Easter eggs. That's the same friend whom I had the falling out with and so this year, we weren't going to be going to their house to do this. It wasn't long before Morgan wanted to know if we were going to be going to their house to dye eggs, so I had to tell her (yet again) that we weren't really friendly with them anymore and we hadn't been invited there, but I thought maybe we could continue the tradition at our house and invite some different friends. She got so excited, my little party girl, and was clamoring for a list of things we needed to do to get ready! Well, we're ready and today was the day! Yesterday, the eggs were hard boiled and this morning we baked the cookies. The goodie bags are stuffed, the table cloths laid down and then we were ready for our friends to arrive! Everyone brought a dish to share and so there was lots of yummy food. All the kids had a lot of fun, some of them just now coming into the age where they can get into things like this. Morgan and her friend Chenoa, enjoying some big girl time together. Chenoa even commented about how this was the best party she'd ever been to! I teased Lara that she's sheltering her daughter way too much! Though it can be chaotic with so many kids in one house, it was well worth it!! Here are some pictures from our fun evening!

All together now....awwww!

Tonight was the My Guy and I dance for Girl Scouts. The idea here is that the Dads all get together with their girls and go have fun dancing the night away. It started at 7, so I had to have Morgan ready when Lance came to get her after work. She was so excited, she could hardly stand it! She told me that she could just picture what it was going to be like. She said she pictured it would be like a wedding. Pretty soon, it was getting to be dinner time, so I set Bennett up with some food and helped Morgan get dressed for her big "date". Lance showed up, right on time, with a white rose for his girl. This just sent her over the top! She was sooo cute! I got some pictures before the cute couple headed out to their night full of pizza, chicken dancing, and congo lines. :) Too cute!

When they got home, she was talking a mile a minute about all the fun stuff they did and saw. She even managed to get Daddy out on the dance floor a few times. You go girl!!

Doing my part

Today was set aside for me to get to the mall for some much needed retail therapy. I've been needing to get over there for one thing or another, but life hasn't allowed the trip until today. I packed Bennett up (as well as two tons of snacks) and headed over to Kohl's first. I've been on the lookout for some decently priced picture frames for the shower I'm throwing for my friend Melissa. Also, I know they usually have a good selection of shoes, and Bennett is in desperate need (lest I shove his fat foot into his too-small vans anymore). After the Kohl's, we had just enough time to hit the mall before it was time to go get Morgan. I needed soaps and a few door prize things from Bath and Body Works as well as getting the kids' Easter outfits, which I'd already picked out online. While I was there, I decided to see what they had for Melissa's baby boy, due in late May. Oh, boy did I ever have fun shopping for him! I got some cute stuff and some great deals and can't wait to give them to her!

I was done shopping just in time to get Morgan, so I picked her up and then we headed to Costco, where the kids were thrilled to be getting hot dogs for lunch and then we did some more shopping there.

Later, I was online with my friend Melissa, shopping for some really cool strollers. I don't think anyone can accuse me of not doing my part to stimulate this economy! :)

The space between

Sometimes having children almost four years apart in age has it's benefits. Such as being able to enjoy a nice long playgroup with my youngest while my oldest is in school. It's so nice to be able to have him have his very own playgroup and that I'm able to do it without an older child vying for attention. He has his own friends, not just his sister's friends. He gets his own time with me just like she did.


However, there are times that it's very difficult. Like when the oldest has her own activities that interfere with the youngest's sleep schedule. Today, we hung out at playgroup until it was time to pick Morgan up after her small reading group after school. Then, less than an hour later she had Daisies, for an hour. None of these time chunks were long enough for Bennett's nap. Since he sometimes doesn't go down until 2pm, I figured keeping him up and not letting him nap until after Daisies was probably the way to go (they get done at 3pm). He handled it as well as can be expected, but was so overtired when we got home that he screamed and screamed when it was time for nap.