I bet they've never seen this one before

I'm sitting at the kitchen table filling out paperwork for Morgan's kindergarten registration. The whole time, I'm refraining from making smart assed remarks.

Question: Do you have any concerns regarding yoru child's speech/hearing ability?
It's not the hearing I have the problem with. It's the listening.

Question: How would you describe your child to someone who doesn't know him/her?
I wouldn't have to describe her. She'd do all the talking.

Question: Does your child cry easily?
Ha. She's crying right now.

Question: What new skills has your child learned in the past three months?
Back talk, attitude and how to speak at the exact decibel, preferably repeating the same word or phrase over and over until she has successfully grated my last nerve.

But then I came to a question, that I *have* to give an honest answer to. And it's making me laugh. It's the honest truth, but I'm pretty sure they've never seen an answer like mine.

Question: Does your child have ay special fears of which I should be aware?
Loud noises such as fireworks or toilets that flush automatically. If they flush automatically, the generally accepted practice is to take a piece of toilet paper and cover the sensor so as to not have a total and complete meltdown as the toilet flushes while she's sitting on the potty and can feel the breeze of the water flushing down.

She's all mine, people. Hands off. :)