Defining Moments

You know how you might be in the moment still and you think to yourself, I will never forget this. Yep, that happened to me over and over this morning. It all started with breakfast. You see, this morning we were paired up with our small group tables again for breakfast and during this breakfast, I had the opportunity to be that spiritual person. You know the one...they are the one, who when someone else expresses their own sadness or dilemma, they are the ones who say something truly godly and everyone nods their heads and breathes deeply. Except, normally I'm the head nodder. Certainly not the one speaking. Because honestly? 34 years of living in Christianity if it has taught me anything, it's taught me that people who say things like that are sometimes looked at through judgmental eyes. You know, with thoughts like, "Oh sure Miss Goody Two Shoes" or "Well doesn't she think she's better than everyone else". Except that I don't think I'm better than anyone else. In fact, I think I'm pretty much as lousy a Christian as you can come by. I'd be lucky to tell you a story or two from the Bible. Even my husband has read it from front to back and I can count on one hand all the times he's been to church since I've known him. But, this doesn't stop me. No, when the woman at our table admitted to having a hard time accepting God's grace because she had done so many horrible things earlier in her life, I remembered a sermon that our church's pastor gave sometime over the past year and the words from his message just blurted out of my mouth before I could even stop them, "If has seen it fit to forgive you, what makes you think you shouldn't forgive yourself?" And then there was the nodding and the deep breathing, but it wasn't me. It was everyone else at the table. The woman looked at me, smiled with tears in her eyes and said, "thank you".

Later, while in our final service on Sunday morning, we took communion and after taking communion, many of the women were doing just as they had done the night before. They were going down to the front of the room and hugging and praying. The speaker was down in front with a steady stream of people coming her way. I kept looking, through teary eyes as I longed for this type of interaction. It was such a distant thing, though. Nothing like I was used to. I'm used to taking my walk alone. Melissa and I continued to exchange glances and then she said to me, "Paige go down there!". I looked at her and immediately blurted out, "NO!". I looked down there and noticed that the speaker was standing there, hands clasped. Waiting. Melissa looked at me again (and would later tell me that she just got the urge to MAKE ME GO) and told me that I needed to go and that she was waiting for me. I practically ran down the aisle and to the speaker. I looked at her, not knowing what to say and just asked her to pray for me. She told me to give her one word. "Alone" I said and then she started hugging me and praying for me. She prayed that I would know that I was not alone because God is with me always. I felt a rush of warmth and love come over me. She prayed that a spiritual partner would come into my life because she knows we all need someone like that. She prayed that today would be the turning point. She prayed again that I would know that I was not alone. When she was done, we finished hugging and I went back to where I was sitting.

No sooner had I gotten there, when they started playing this song that I knew from the night before was emotional for Melissa. She took off, saying she'd be right back. I was stuck there. Alone. Then the most amazing thing happened. A woman sitting at the end of the pew came over to me and gave me the deepest, biggest hug ever. Then she went away. A woman sitting in the pew in front of me came behind me and hugged me again. She returned to her seat, only to return a few moments later, asking if she can pray for me. I told her she could, we hugged and she prayed that I would be free. Free.

Pretty soon, the service was over and I had to find Melissa. Seems she had had a few defining moments of her own. More bonding. More moments. As we left the retreat at Mount Hermon, we travelled home to our families, whom we were sorely missing, but reflecting the entire way. Basking in the sun of a gorgeous Sunday, driving down the mountain in the convertible, we were reflecting on what brought us together. Our first meeting. Our first impressions. How the idea of the retreat came up and how we made it there.

There is a reason that Melissa and I were brought together for the weekend. A reason we bonded and shared some defining moments. God is good. God is very good.