Sunday, January 4, 2009

A responsible five year old

At about 4 am last night, Morgan comes barging into our room with tears in her eyes. She has woken up, vomiting. She wasn't upset about being sick, but was upset because she got it "everywhere". I reassured her that it was fine and that I'd get it cleaned up, but she kept apologizing for waking me up and making a mess.

This morning, after Lance noticed that she had changed pajamas once again (she went to bed in one pair, threw up on those and changed them, threw up on those and then changed into some others). When asked about it, she said she had just felt like changing her pajamas. Later, as she was getting dressed, she confessed to me that she had had an "accident" and that's why she changed her pajamas. Again, more concerned with the mess than with the fact that she was sick enough that she was having accidents.

It makes my heart break when I hear her like this. I mean, she's a kid. She was sick. If there's ever a time that it's acceptable to make a mess and not worry about it, that would be it. I mean, it's not like I'm Mommy Dearest here, holding a wire hanger over her head. And I don't think I've been particularly crazy with her about keeping things clean. I think she just really internalizes stuff and knows that she's causing more work for me. I told her last night and this morning that this is my job and she needs to just let me do it and not worry about it. I mean, really. She's FIVE. I spend lots of time worrying about her growing up too fast, but for other reasons that typically involve a boy or Hannah Montana. Today I'm worrying about her growing up too fast because sometimes she takes on too much responsibility. She doesn't understand that she's a kid and that things like that sometimes happen. How did this happen?

Remind me of this tomorrow when she can't manage to get her shoes on or her seat belt buckled by herself or when she's making up songs to sing at the breakfast table instead of eating so we can get to school on time.

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