Overcoming fear

All of us have fears. Some rational, some not so rational. Some founded, some not founded. Fears like spiders, or lightening storms, or maybe earthquakes. Or gas grills. Yes, you read that correctly. Laugh, if you will, but there *is* a story to go along with it.

The year was 1996. I think. Or maybe 1997. Hell, I'm too old to remember the year, but it's fairly inconsequential anyway. The setting was my apartment, shared with four other people. Yes, four. This was California. I was poor, having just moved out from Auburn. We were having one of our infamous parties, where there was far too much cider and beer consumed. I went out to light the grill so that we could get the ribs going. I lifted the grill cover and checked inside. I pressed the button that said IGNITE and then turned the knobs that said gas. I closed the cover and went back inside to finish preparing for the party. I made some wraps and had just grabbed one, to taste the efforts of my labor, as I headed out to the patio to check on the grill.

Hmm. Something was wrong, I didn't hear the flames. With one hand, I opened the lid and I leaned over the grates to see what was going on. When I didn't see any flames, I shoved the wrap in my mouth and with my other hand, pressed the IGNITE button again. It all happened very quickly. The clicking of the ignition, the poof of the gas as a bubble of gas flamed out of the grill and right at me. All I knew was that I had obviously burned my face off. I ran inside screaming, while trying to quickly chew and swallow the wrap that was in my mouth. Lance came running over to me asking what was wrong. I was screaming "I BURNED MY FACE!!", but all he heard was "MA MUU MA MAAAA" since I was still mouthing the wrap. When he stopped panicking and looked at me, checking out my face for the first time, his eyes stopped at mine. He said, "What happened to you??" Oh dear Lord!!

I ran to the bathroom, still trying to swallow this wrap that had somehow expanded to twice it's size. I hesitated for a moment, bracing for what I was sure was going to be second or third degree burns, all pink and bloody. When I looked, I didn't see much. I got closer to the mirror and realized that my eyelashes and eyebrows had been completely singed. Finally, swallowing the wrap, I was able to relay to Lance what had happened. He told me how lucky I was, because basically I had set myself up for that gas bomb by turning the gas on and leaving the lid closed. It was at that point that I realized that the grill was a man's territory and that I now had a healthy fear of it.

Fast forward to today. Today was my first day, conquering my fear of the gas grill. I've been observing it's use for over ten years now. Watching from a distance. I've asked question after question about the hows and whys of what you do with the grill. I've never before even attempted to light a grill, however, since The Great Eyelash Singe of '96 (or '97). But the other day, with Lance's new grill, I had him walk me through the process. The dos and the don'ts. Really, it's pretty simple if you understand basic CHEMISTRY and PHYSICS. So, tonight, I went out and faced my fears. I marinated some pork chops and when the time came, I took a deep breath, stood back and lit the grill. Victory is mine! Watch out world. The grill is a whole new genre for me to play with!! :)